BeingMyself

I am fairly new at the whole sober living lifestyle. I have been clean now for almost 7 weeks, and that has been the longest in probably around 12 years or so. I have been forced to stop drinking because of the trouble that I have gotten in from past duis. I have never hurt anyone, but could not get it in my head to not drink and drive anymore. Regardless, I pretty much have to choose to either stay sober, or face a potential felony, or jail time. This has been probably the most difficult thing that I have ever tried to accomplish (along with physics in college throughout my entire life. I recently completed a 14 day partial hospitalization program, and am now trying to attend AA meetings regularly and have switched sponsers since my last relapse. I feel like I do not have anything to look forward to anymore. Drinking was the 1thing that I felt at home and content with myself. My sponser had me make a gratitude list, and that seems to help some. I just cannot convince myself to stay sober for the long path that I have ahead of me. I wonder if it gets easier. I hope that it does, because as of now, I feel hopeless and depressed because I lost my best friend that I have ever had.....

DisplacedGRITS

you lost a frenemy. 7 weeks is an excellent start but it's just a start. how are you doing with AA? how often is regularly? do you show up 15 minutes early and leave 15 minutes late or do you show up at :59 and leave 61 minutes later? meeting are wonderful but i only started feeling better when i became a part of my home group's community.

keep up that gratitude list and embrace it with your whole heart. write another list about the consequences and demoralizing feelings associated with drinking. keep those lists and keep adding to them. stop glamorizing your drinking by calling it your friend. for an alcoholic, booze becomes your buddy while it's stabbing you in the back over and over. turn around and see the damage it's doing to you. is that what a friend does? don't try to look far into the future and imagine it sober. live in the moment and concentrate on what's going to keep you sober today.

does it get easier? you bet your butt it does but only if you embrace sobriety as a lifestyle change, not a bandaid on a wound. if you're going to AA, seriously get there early and stay late. get phone numbers and call a fellow drunk daily. go out for coffee and go to retreats and conferences. get involved. it's a simple program. not an easy one and God knows it's a serious time commitment but it's your life.

keep moving forward and take it a step at a time. we're here for you.

BeingMyself

I do think that the gratitude list seems to help some, and I am glad that you mentioned making a list of the consequences also. I think that will help too. I usually try to get to meetings fairly early, and also tend to stick around for a little while and talk to other members. I liked how you said that it does get easier...basically if you embrace it, and make a lifestyle change completely, not just throw a bandage on it. That's probably one problem that I am facing, thinking that I will be able to drink again one day, and not giving myself fully to the program. I don't know...I try very hard to stay sober, but whenever I get around people who are drinking, or even talking about it, I get jealous, envious, and angry. I suppose that's an issue of mine that will hopefully continue to get better in the future as I grow.

Manz

I had to say to myself, for now I am sober. And anytime I felt like a drink I would remind myself of the worst night on the worst day of my drinking..... with the worst possible consequences. I still ask myself now(if I ever feel like drinking) if that is where I want my life to go. The answer is always...heck no! and it always took the panic of 'forever' away when I could just concentrate on now. Just for now I am sober.

As for what do you have to look forward to now? The world is literally your oyster...more has been possible for me since I got sober than ever before. Sure it is different, I had to learn how to be again.....but it sure is a great opportunity.

All the best BeingMyself...lots of support here.

luckyrina

It may appear that your not hurting no one, but you are. Yourself, your self worth. Drinking only hides the pain, keeps us from feeling. There is someone/others that do care about you. This is a long road and not all the time it's straight. The path your on is a great start, 7weeks, wow, now thats willingness, Good Job.

mecanix

If my life is dull and unforfilling i work hard at changing my life into something fun and happy .
Alcohol made me deluded enough to not really care my life was dull and unforfilling , it take time and persistance to work on life but it is possible .
My sober life is genuine , tangible and real and has real happiness and rewards in it .
I think sobriety is worthwhile .

Bestwishes, M

quitforme79

It gets easier... And better! After about 90 days I remember thinking "how did I ever get anything done when I was drinking" because I no longer obsessed about not drinking when I got home from work. I was too busy w AA meetings & hanging out w sober friends. For someone who used to isolate this was amazing to me. I'm now almost 6 months sober & enjoying getting back to old hobbies & finding new ones. My life feels fuller then ever & I look forward to all the opportunities I don't even know about yet. Because I'm sober, new things will pop up in my future & I'll be able to enjoy them. It's 5:45 am where I am & I'm so grateful & content waking up without a hangover, excited to see what I'll decide to do in this spring weather. A gratitude list is great & really helped me when I was feeling like you are. I felt just like you did but that's changed & it will for you too. Congrats on 7 weeks & hang in there. The time will start to go faster & I don't believe you will regret your new sober life.

sugarbear1

Get phone numbers and call people, start talking in person to people. Get a sponsor and get through those steps. Those steps saved my life.

You can also search for Back to Basics.

If you are serious about staying stopped, you can do this!

SoberHappyHour

What to look forward to ? How about feeling amazing every single day ? I am more productive than ever now and I don't hate doing the chores that I have to do because I feel good. I don't procrastinate them anymore. I went back to school, and I have made friends there. I go to the gym, and make friends there. I go to work and make friends there. I go to aa and make friends there. All without a drink in my hand, or actually sometimes a water I look forward to the results my body will get from working out and the success school will give me. I look forward to the clothes and things I can buy instead of wasting tons of money on poisoning my body and feeling like crap or paying the courts. What did you used to enjoy before you ever picked up your first drink ? I love to watch movies, I have started playing basketball again, I even started playing my video games again and they're fun ! All sober .. Congrats on your amazing choice. And FYI, I am in the same boat with numerous duis and we can't chance getting another. With time you will embrace the new lifestyle and find out how many possibilities sobriety has to offer.