Son in the Sun - Parenting in Recovery Story
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Monongahela
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Son in the Sun - Parenting in Recovery Story
My baby son has always been momma’s boy. (He’s 16 now) For him, the sun rose and set with me. When I took off chasing my addiction, the sun set for him. Morning never came. He sat in limbo for years, hoping, waiting and always forgiving.
Guilt is a powerful emotion. Dreams of him and my other children could even pierce through my hiding place of addiction. Stuck in dark tunnels, drowning in a river, lost in the woods…guilt manipulated me even in my sleep.
His first day of school came and went. I was not there to put him on the bus. He had problems in school. I remember during one of my brief periods of awareness, I showed up for a school conference. The teacher told me he would break up pencils and crayons in class. He refused to pay attention, was a distraction to the other kids. His grades were close to failing. I blamed his behavior on his caretaker rather than examining what MY Part was in this situation.
I was gone for a total of 10 years. A doctor ended up prescribing some medication for my son, but to no avail. He continued to barely pass each grade and was in counseling. Someone once told me that he was incorrigible and un-teachable.
Addiction corrupts not only the addict’s mind but also our children’s minds. Every time I showed up for a visit, my son would cry and beg me to take him “home.” I believe my recklessness caused my son great harm. When I got clean, I thought the harm to him and the other kids was permanent.
Recovery is full of blessings and surprises. All I ever had the nerve to pray for was for a judge to allow me to have visitation with them. I have full custody today. All I had the nerve to pray for was that God protect my son’s mind from harm. He is an honor roll student today! From the moment he finally came “home” to his momma, his grades shot up to honor roll status.
God even put sugar on top of this reward. He was graduating from middle school. They school called and told me that I should definitely be there. He received the Rising Star Award because of his dramatic turn around in school. He got to go to the podium and say a few words. He said, and I quote, “I just wanna thank my teachers and my MOM!”
When I got into recovery, finally, I thought the sun would never rise for my son again. I WAS WRONG. The magnitude of God and recovery PROVED me wrong!
The sun shines in his eyes today. I can only attribute this gift to the power above! God is real. God is just. Most of all, God is Good!
thanks
Guilt is a powerful emotion. Dreams of him and my other children could even pierce through my hiding place of addiction. Stuck in dark tunnels, drowning in a river, lost in the woods…guilt manipulated me even in my sleep.
His first day of school came and went. I was not there to put him on the bus. He had problems in school. I remember during one of my brief periods of awareness, I showed up for a school conference. The teacher told me he would break up pencils and crayons in class. He refused to pay attention, was a distraction to the other kids. His grades were close to failing. I blamed his behavior on his caretaker rather than examining what MY Part was in this situation.
I was gone for a total of 10 years. A doctor ended up prescribing some medication for my son, but to no avail. He continued to barely pass each grade and was in counseling. Someone once told me that he was incorrigible and un-teachable.
Addiction corrupts not only the addict’s mind but also our children’s minds. Every time I showed up for a visit, my son would cry and beg me to take him “home.” I believe my recklessness caused my son great harm. When I got clean, I thought the harm to him and the other kids was permanent.
Recovery is full of blessings and surprises. All I ever had the nerve to pray for was for a judge to allow me to have visitation with them. I have full custody today. All I had the nerve to pray for was that God protect my son’s mind from harm. He is an honor roll student today! From the moment he finally came “home” to his momma, his grades shot up to honor roll status.
God even put sugar on top of this reward. He was graduating from middle school. They school called and told me that I should definitely be there. He received the Rising Star Award because of his dramatic turn around in school. He got to go to the podium and say a few words. He said, and I quote, “I just wanna thank my teachers and my MOM!”
When I got into recovery, finally, I thought the sun would never rise for my son again. I WAS WRONG. The magnitude of God and recovery PROVED me wrong!
The sun shines in his eyes today. I can only attribute this gift to the power above! God is real. God is just. Most of all, God is Good!
thanks
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