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Husband has hurt me so badly.....

Old 05-03-2013, 05:34 AM
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Husband has hurt me so badly.....

I am new to the site. I was searching for help and this is were I have ended up. My husband has been in recovery for over a month now. He seems to be doing better, but he continues to hate me. As a sober wife, I just don't understand how he can have all this hate for me, when I have stood by his side and dealt with these issues. It hurts so bad to be the bad guy. Not sure if he will ever understand all I have done was love him. He has such awful accusations he wants to blame me for. We have a little boy and he's not even worried about him he says to get the divorce papers ready. He doesn't care about his visitation rights, as long as he is away from me. I am not sure if the treatment center he is at is the right place. It seems like he would be making progress, they tell me he is, but being sober for over a month should clear his head of these awful thoughts, I would think. So hurt and confused.
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Old 05-03-2013, 05:39 AM
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If he's not doing anything other than not drinking, one month is a great time for all of his anger and fears and resentments to surface. He'll continue to blame other people and situations for his own behavior as his ego doesn't allow him to see that he is the problem.

Drinking is but a symptom of alcoholism. Alcoholism is a word for a huge ego with an inferiority complex and the real problem is the person, not the alcohol.

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information This forum might help you a bit more.

With love & hugs,
~SB
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Old 05-03-2013, 05:45 AM
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Your husband is making progress in his recovery, but it's not the progress you wanted to see.

Sadly, we can never control the outcome of things in our lives. The only thing you can control is your reaction. You might find that AlAnon is a good support source for you.
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Old 05-03-2013, 05:47 AM
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Welcome and hang in there. My close ones have found that Al-Anon is a great help for the families of alcoholics. Early in my sobriety my wife taped to my BR mirror "YOUR LOOKING AT THE PROBLEM." Sure got my attention and started some action on my part. BE WELL
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Old 05-03-2013, 05:53 AM
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I am so sorry you are going through this.
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