Day 441
 

Its day 441.

Drinking is the furthest thing from my mind.

At the moment, I am trying to live the most honest life I can. I feel productive and mentally sharp, but I am so lonely.

I suppose I am living with the fact that I did not make important decisions and choices when I was drinking. Now I have to live with them. I feel trapped, I feel life is unfair at times and hard.

My life is very basic now and thats fine. I don't need or expect more. I work, look after my child, go to bed.
It would just be ice to have someone who understood, someone who cared.
The only way I can describe it is being the odd one stood all alone in a chattering crowd of millions who all know each other.

Sorry for this post. Its not good.

First here is a big hug. I am sorry you are feeling like this. I know for me it is hard to relate to anyone that isn't an addict/alcoholic.

You are still growing and learning this process definately is not easy.

Day 441 is fantastic by the way Sasha.

A hug from me too!
Going off visiting the old fogies now.
Yippee!
My life is smaller than it has ever been.
I know what you feel like.
I think.
441 days is excellent.
:You_Rock_

I can relate to the feeling of having a very basic life. I, however, don't miss the drama that I created in mine from my bad decision making. It is somewhat easier for me because I actually prefer to be alone a lot of the time. Do you do any type of volunteer work? I previously did a lot of work with our Department of Corrections and started doing some volunteer work. Sometimes I think I'm crazy because it does stretch me pretty thin on time occassionally, however, I love the interactions with people who need a second chance. Volunteering has made a big difference for me. Maybe there is something you could do with our somehow involving your child? Time heals almost everything. Give time time.