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Old 05-02-2013, 06:22 AM
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New to this site

Hi everyone, this is my very first time on here. I mother of a
27 y.o addict. He's comming home fr. Jail today, and going to rehab. I am so done with this. Of course I love my son, but my husband and I won't lose our home over his drug use. I really don't know if he can be helped anymore. he was clean for 2 years before this. Don't know what set it off. All I do know is it came back with a fury this time. I told him I love him, and want him in my life, but I can't live for him. I can't do this for him, he's got to do this himself. He's got 2 more court dates pending. I pray we can all get through this. My greatest desire would be for him to go to court and they would send him directly to a long term rehab somewhere (preferably out of state). But I don't put much faith in that happening.
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Old 05-02-2013, 06:38 AM
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So sorry for what brings you here to SR. We have a forum just for friends and family of substance abusers:
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Lot of folks who are or who have been where you are.

Does he have to come home? My dad kicked me out of the house the minute he discovered I was using drugs. Your son probably has no where to go, but that doesn't mean you have to let this chaos into your home. YOUR HOME!

Again, sorry for your suffering.
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Old 05-02-2013, 06:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Cookie59 View Post
Hi everyone, this is my very first time on here. I mother of a
27 y.o addict. He's comming home fr. Jail today, and going to rehab. I am so done with this. Of course I love my son, but my husband and I won't lose our home over his drug use. I really don't know if he can be helped anymore. he was clean for 2 years before this. Don't know what set it off. All I do know is it came back with a fury this time. I told him I love him, and want him in my life, but I can't live for him. I can't do this for him, he's got to do this himself. He's got 2 more court dates pending. I pray we can all get through this. My greatest desire would be for him to go to court and they would send him directly to a long term rehab somewhere (preferably out of state). But I don't put much faith in that happening.
Your right, you can't.
Have you looked into programs for yourself & husband? Codependency groups like through Celebrate Recovery or another 12 step program. This is an illness that makes the whole family sick.
You are in my Prayers.
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Old 05-02-2013, 06:47 AM
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Cookie we feel your pain because of our similar experiences. Many have been tremendously helped by going to Al-Anon meetings. BE WELL
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Old 05-02-2013, 06:49 AM
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Thank you for your kind words. My son doesn't have any place to stay. He has car, however his license may be suspended soon. I told him I would take him to a shelter, but then in the mean time this rehab option came up, and in the long run it may look better for him that he went to rehab.
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Old 05-02-2013, 07:05 AM
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As far as meetings go we did try them. A couple places. We just never found what we were looking for. maybe that was my fault. My husband works a swing shift, so most of the time it was me going on my own. I just found a lot of people in the same place as me, an frankly I was even more depressed. This disgusting disease,isolates you. It seems like most of the stories I heard started with rehab a couple of times, then jail,followed by parents throwing addict out, then sometimes there's a innocent child born into this mess, then repeat. I keep hearing about rock bottom....where is it?? How far ? Death?
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