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Recovery and Sex

Old 05-02-2013, 04:54 AM
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Recovery and Sex

I stopped drinking and doing drugs nearly 8 months ago however I don't seem to have any interest in sex which is more than slightly concerning considering I'm a 30 year old male.

I've had one long term relationship which is over nearly 5 years ago. Other than that period of time I've only ever really chased some action when I was smoking ice, getting drunk or off my face in whatever way I could.

I'm just wondering whether anyone else has had any issues regarding an interest, or lack thereof in sex with recovery?

I understand that alcohol and drug abuse can have an effect on sexual interest yet I would have thought by now things would have improved. Particularly considering I was a sexual deviate when I was off chops.

As it stands, I meet girls, and I would definitely say that there is some active interest coming my way, which is one of the major benefits of cleaning my act up. Problem is, now I'm like 'meh, whatever!'

Any similar experiences or tips?
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Old 05-02-2013, 06:16 AM
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I'm a female, early 30's and my appetite for intimacy usually high but since getting sober it's been on the back burner. At 6 months, I'm starting to get it back but slowly. I think our bodies and more so, our minds, are healing from the trauma of drinking. I believe the instincts will come back
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Old 05-02-2013, 06:34 AM
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This was actually a topic of discussion at Celebrate Recovery this week.
(Granted this was in the Woman's group but I assume it pertains to us all)
That it is actually a wise idea to wait 1 year after sobriety before starting up a new relationship. as far as exsisting relationships, Im not sure as I am single. But myself & a couple other ladies were talking about being "lonely".
And She told us we would be seeking for the wrong reason right now & to grow Spiritually & mentally & remain sober to make relationship decisions.

So I guess what I took of it, is as much as I would like someone in my life like that right now, it may take away from a very important time in my recovery process.

Just a thought. Peace
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Old 05-02-2013, 08:25 AM
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There was a time after I got sober that I didn't want to be touched at all. I think it takes time to relearn how to be intimate while sober. I think what you are experiencing is pretty normal.
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Old 05-02-2013, 08:32 AM
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Yep, same thing for me. I had an intense sexual appetite while being buzzed...since sobering up, nothing. I think this is normal. Meh, maybe she just looked better with booze googles on....
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Old 05-02-2013, 09:00 AM
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For me it's the opposite... I have more sex drive than before. Sober sex is so much better than drunk sex!
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Old 05-02-2013, 09:21 AM
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It is fairly normal. After being sober 8 months it is starting to come back. You have to remember that alcohol (and drugs) were your best friend, mistress, counselor, everything for so long. I talk with my wife about it and I don't stress about sex. It is a popular topic and there in a mens forum here where you may get more specific and personal opinions. I think you are doing great with 8 months of being clean and sober. You will be "back in the saddle" again and the good news is that you will remember everything and most likely be a proud of your actions.
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Old 05-02-2013, 10:05 AM
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I'm a male, 23 and I think that my 'need for sex' has gone down slightly since entering recovery. But it's psychological, I wouldn't have said I was a sex addict but sex and drugs came hand in hand for me. Now in recovery I can actually have proper relationships. I still have the same sex drive but I just manage it differently, e.g - I don't have sex with every girl I meet anymore. I found in the early stages of recovery (first 6 months) I really didn't have any interest in sex because I was so so busy trying to knit my life back together. I'd not worry about it until you get to a year clean or so. If you're still experiencing a lack of sexual desire I'd look into it.

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