harder than I thought
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 22
harder than I thought
So today is day 4 for me. This sober thing is alot harder than i thought it was going to be. I'm being real hard on myself right now. All the 'bad' memories of when i was drunk are starting to pop into my head over and over again and are making me feel like a failure. I know I can not change the past, only learn from it and move on.
Today started off rough, was hard for me to get motivated. But eventually it got better. I coach a softball team and we had a game today. As I was driving to the game i realized I have to be a role model to these girls and I'm on the right path to that.
Just before I ran into a friend and she asked me if i was going out Thursday our friends birthday. At first I didn't totally confess to her I stopped drinking. I told her I had a final Friday morning (which i do) but then I told her im trying to stop drinking. I was a little embarrassed when i told her but then i felt relieved. I know it is going to be very tempting for me to go out tomorrow night but my plan is to study in the the library instead.
This is a very difficult journey but I know it will be rewarding, if I can stay on the wagon. I can't wait to start gaining confidence in myself ( not drunken confidence).
One day at a time.
Today started off rough, was hard for me to get motivated. But eventually it got better. I coach a softball team and we had a game today. As I was driving to the game i realized I have to be a role model to these girls and I'm on the right path to that.
Just before I ran into a friend and she asked me if i was going out Thursday our friends birthday. At first I didn't totally confess to her I stopped drinking. I told her I had a final Friday morning (which i do) but then I told her im trying to stop drinking. I was a little embarrassed when i told her but then i felt relieved. I know it is going to be very tempting for me to go out tomorrow night but my plan is to study in the the library instead.
This is a very difficult journey but I know it will be rewarding, if I can stay on the wagon. I can't wait to start gaining confidence in myself ( not drunken confidence).
One day at a time.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
Yes, it can be really awful when the bad memories of our drinking days jump into our heads. And, for me it lasted a lot longer than 4 days. I was very hard on myself and took a long time to begin to forgive myself. Forgiveness is a big part of recovery and hopefully you will find your way to forgive yourself.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 198
Hang in there! I had an invite to a birthday party this coming Sat. Told my buddy that I have to work that day, which I do, and didn't know if I could make it or not. Truth is, I will be off work hours before his party and could make it, but I'm just not sure if I can do it.... he is a heavy drinker and I know he will be half drunk when I get there and make a public display about why I'm not throwing back beers with him. *sigh*
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 212
Time2Focus: I know how you feel. My friends are all like that. They even tell me that I don't have a problem, that I'm overreacting. I do regret even telling them how I feel. From now on I will just keep my distance...
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Jackie, So today is day 4 for me? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. Yes you are right, it's harder than you think for me to, but I am now 1021 days sober, 1 year 8 months no crack, and on the 5th of May, 11 months no cigarettes. I am finally chemical independent. Rootin for ya Jackie, you can do it. 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: East Coast
Posts: 18
Jackie-on my day 5 I went to a wedding and didn't drink. (only day 17 today) It was one of the hardest things I've ever done but wow, was it worth it. Stick to your decisions, you can power through it. Good Luck!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by Anna 
Yes, it can be really awful when the bad memories of our drinking days jump into our heads. And, for me it lasted a lot longer than 4 days. I was very hard on myself and took a long time to begin to forgive myself. Forgiveness is a big part of recovery and hopefully you will find your way to forgive yourself.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
I think we all have some pretty bad memories from drinking and things we did when drunk/hungover looking to drink that we'll never be proud of.
Whenever I think of one of those time or things I just think how if I don't drink, I won't add bad memories or do more things that I would NEVER do sober. Think of it as another reason not to drink and then let it go and think about what you're going to do today to take care of yourself and be better.
Whenever I think of one of those time or things I just think how if I don't drink, I won't add bad memories or do more things that I would NEVER do sober. Think of it as another reason not to drink and then let it go and think about what you're going to do today to take care of yourself and be better.
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