HellJuice

Last night I got into a bit of a quarrel with my wife which in hindsight was a situation where I was being irritable due to withdrawal. I couldn't stand it so I ran downstairs to get fresh air and opened the fridge for some water. I was so frustrated and said SCREW IT! I reached for a can of beer with the intentions of chugging it one shot to help ease my anger. I got as far as placing my shaky index finger on the tab in anticipation of that oh so soothing sound of the crack of can! I halted for 2 seconds and thought to myself, why am I doing this? Is this really worth it? Am I going to let withdrawal induced irritability be used as an excuse to go back to the ways which is the actual reason of why I'm feeling the way I am right now??
It's like a dog chasing his tail.. and I AIN'T NO FRIGGIN DOG!

I took a sharpie pen that was laying on the counter and wrote "F U!!!!!" on the can and threw it back in.

I went back upstairs and hugged my wife and told her I'm sorry and she understood.. (I have the best wife in the world btw)

So there you have it, close call to relapse! It would have been a devastating one also since I just came off of a relapse on Sunday!!!

The fact that I was able to resist the beer is truly a sign that I AM improving and that I CAN get over this if I really want to. It could have so easily gone the other way if I cracked that can...

My friends , after this even, I have learned how thin the line between being sober and relapsing truly is!!! Don't cross that line!


Thanks for your time reading this and let's keep on trucking!


Ahh.. and if you're wondering why a person trying to quit drinking has beer in his fridge? Well It's not mine and beer wasn't my choice of poison anyway..
suffice to say someone's going to look in that fridge today and wonder "why does my beer say FU!!!! on it? lol.

visch1

Congratulations. When I got to AA it was stated in understandable terms, no booze of any kind in the house, remove your drinking friends from your life, don't go into slippery places and Keep coming. Harsh? Not if you really want to get/stay sober. Some rebelled like children and continued until they surrendered if they were lucky. BE WELL

Nonsensical

Well put and well played, sir!

doggonecarl

You don't need any more "close" calls. If it's your frig you call rule, "No beer in the frig!"

MythOfSisyphus

Awesome! I'm glad you didn't cave, but I agree...it would be best to remove the temptation. If you're on a diet, for instance, don't stop at the bakery for a dozen donuts on the way home.

Jsober

Way to go! Drinking that beer would have solved nothing and would have made things worse. Good for you!

HellJuice

For those who say remove the temptation. It's not MY alcohol. And to be honest with you, I (in a sadistic way) actually prefer having the temptation in front of me as overcoming it by abstaining would only further strengthen my belief that I CAN DO THIS!!!
It's kind of like people who go to therapy because they have phobias facing their fears by being subjected to their worst fears.. No pain no gain right?

With that said, today is 27 days sober for me, minus 1 little relapse this past weekend. I'm starting to feel really really good health wise (mentally and physically!)

YouRmySunshine

Glad you had the strength & support. Way to stay strong & stay sober!

Great feeling to post THIS, instead of a "starting over" thread huh?

Prayers!