Day 20
 

Day 20 has started my anxiety is still high... I can't focus at all... I just want to be home but I'm at work... I've been on an emotional roller coaster since yesterday not really sure why... Nightmares while I slept just awful... But I slept all day .... Sigh just want this feeling to subside just even a little

You'll get there. Just be a little patient and take care of yourself....

Agree -it will pass soon and be patient -your doing so well !

I'm sure it will pass but it's so hard to focus when your fighting back the tears and all the thoughts that I wish I didn't have

Jstanthrgrl, Day 20? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. I know this is the last thing you want to hear but, all the agony will dimish with time. At 1020 days the weapon that works the best is playing the tape all the way through, remembering just how awful things had gotten. Ironically cocaine was the most financially and time devasting drug I used, but the cravings to smoke a cigarette are the most powerful even after 11 months. It's probably hard to see it right now, but you get stronger every day you don't use. Rootin for ya. :egypt:

Thanks it's not that I don't want to hear it it's I know the answer I tried sobriety once before made it 6 months figured why not smoke a little for my 30th birthday.... Yup worse decision I made... Now look where I am trying to keep my marriage together because I've ruined what we once had for what something that could not love me back :(

Anxiety for whatever reason wasn't bad in the first two weeks. It's like everything was new and exciting. After that the anxiety got really bad for a few weeks. It's as if reality was setting in and I knew I had to face it. Now things are settling down a bit. I'm still my old anxious self but at least it's real. Hang in there.

You've got far better chance of sorting things out sober , your marriage is not over and you are removing a problem. Emotions all over and anxiety high will calm down , it's difficult to separate your thought from those feelings but they will settle.
John.

You are coming up on 30 days soon.... Every 30 days our body goes through changes in sobriety until it finally is "normal" again.

Be vigilant now, find a method of recovery to work, write yourself a plan for what to do when things are bad, when things are good, when that craving hits out of the blue.

Rational Recovery
SOS
AVRT
SMART
Life Ring
Women for Sobriety
Power to Quit
AA

All have their own websites.

Stay strong and stay stopped!

It's been a little rough last couple days... Definitely have had several cravings and keep thinking about that high. I don't want it but I do... I won't give in but part of me wants to... I will be strong I will not let it consume me...

Every time you get thru a craving wihout drinking you get stronger. And with time you will feel better. You're still very early in sobriety and it takes time to get back to normal. Take good care of yourself and don't give in.:hug:

Drinking isn't my issue.... I'm addicted to crack/cocaine... It's not that I think I will use I know I won't because in order for me to get anything it's too much of a process and I know I don't want to... It's just that my "addicted voice" wants it and reminds me why I did it.. What I enjoyed about it .... But my brain reminds me why I need to remain sober thankfully I'm winning this battle I will not lose war either