mtgbis

Oh, the crying! I think it's just because I'm SO tired. I'm not a crier, guys. But this morning, after two hours of sleep, I called a doctor's office. I just picked the one closest to my apartment since I don't have a doctor in LA yet. And they redirected me to a recovery center that does drug-free detox. When the guy on the phone heard how much I've been drinking these past two months (since getting laid-off and responding foolishly to it) he replied, "Um...yeah, we're not for you, sweetie. You need your heart rate monitored." So he directed me to a public mental health center where a therapist kindly sat and listened while I cried at her, claiming "I'm usually not like this, I'm usually funny, I promise." Then the therapist got a doctor. And the doctor recommended I go back tomorrow to talk with their addiction specialist about finding inpatient public rehab and trying to get state funding for it. LONG MORNING. And I have to go back at 8am tomorrow. And the lovely doctor told me to keep drinking until then at a slow steady rate just to keep my heart rate down. I can't believe I did this to my poor heart. I'm sad and annoyed with me. Very ashamed. But rehab, right? That's a step. One day at a time. Lots more crying, I'm sure, but whatever. It builds character. Especially when you're in a public bathroom at a mental health center.

animalnurse9

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.congratulations on asking for help you are doing the right thing! Cry if you need to, I think its therapeutic wish u all the best, *hugs*

360shoes

Oh Mtgbis,
I'll bet that bathroom has seen a lot of crying. Just like around here on this forum. You go to rehab and get the help and rest you need. Lots of us have have felt all those feeling too. It can get better, I promise.

Tomorrow is the start of a new life. Hang on tonight. Hang around here if it helps.

You are not alone.

mtgbis

Thank you. A couple of hours later I was able to laugh a bit about the absurdity of the situation. I'm lucky to have found two such compassionate women at the health clinic, and really genuinely appreciate the support I'm getting here from people such as yourself. Excited for rehab. The real trick is to stay sober afterwards, but at least this means detox won't be dangerous. And I'll have other alcoholics around going through the same process.

Fingers crossed!

mtgbis

Thanks, AnimalNurse. Everyone here is so supportive! It helps a lot, even with the crying.

360shoes

That's the spirit! There will be lots of support everywhere when you get out. Just keep your heart and your mind open. SR will be here. Come back and let us know how you are doing!