Warm days
 

I live in Washington and our days are finally turning out to be somewhat nice. One those nice days I used to drink Sangria and good beer. I saw an ad for World Market yesterday in the paper and felt so sad that I couldn't go get my favorite Sangria. I don't think that I can even walk into that store either.

My first day at a chemical dependancy program is today. I am very happy to get started because AA and this website was just not doing enough for me to stay sober. I know it's on my shoulders to stay sober but I needed something more.

I have drank just about everywhere. Besides staying at home, where it is completely alcohol-free, I can't go many places because all I think about is drinking and how much I miss it. I have to keep reminding myself of my lastest blunder a couple of weeks ago to keep myself from slipping.

I have found a new drink, pom/blueberry juice and seltzer water. And I am excited to start this new program today, a 12-week Intensive Outpatient program. But it's still very hard to be around just about anyone or go anywhere because of all these memories I have. How do I get these memories to go away?

It will take time Patty. For me at least though I've found the courage and resolve to go out to restaurants, family gatherings, etc.. where alcohol is readily available and pass on it. I even have a good time! Granted, I'm not specifically going to bars or parties where the sole purpose of being there is drinking - and i don't really see a need to ever go to those places much again anyway. Glad you are getting some more help - and I am willing to bet it will get better for you with time.

Long after the physical cravings leave, there is a remembrance, the ghost of a
desire, the thoughts of how good a drink would be. We forget the horror and only remember the good times we equate with drinking and the companionship of fellow drunks. It takes time--and often a good deal of time--to go away.

But it does leave us...if we stay sober. If we feed the ghost and drink, then the memories and desires are strengthened.