roosta

I'm roosta and am an alcoholic. This is my third time coming to SR, and to be honest, I gave up on sobriety really quickly the second time. I am not giving up that easily again!

I have ptsd and am currently being treated for it through talk therapy. Much progress has been made, and I had slowed drinking down to a crawl...only to binge over the weekend.

I woke up yesterday sick, tired, and yet strangely, full of fight. I won't let this disease beat me. No moderation, no just one drink, no period. Sobriety is my goal.

I don't have a plan in place yet. After I get done with this post I'm going to look up the local Women For Sobriety chapter and give them a call. And to stay sober for today. I guess that could be a plan? :-)

Thanks for reading and thanks for being here. I'm in a new town and have no friends. Makes it real easy to grab some beers and hide in my house, but it doesn't have to be that way. Have a happy and sober Monday folks!

roosta

Coldfusion

Welcome back, Roosta!

You have a great plan to take it one day at a time and get a support group.

Let us know how it goes!

Dave42001

Keep it up!! You can do it!! Pulling for you!! Get into a local program with other folks aiming for soberty.. Hang in there.. It gets better!!

roosta

Thanks ColdFusion and Dave! I did what I said I was going to do and now am waiting to hear back. This is a step in the right direction since I have always been ashamed of my drinking and found it near impossible to discuss it face to face. There is no shame in seeking help, but there will be if I keep drinking!

roosta

ElegantlyWasted

Welcome back! I'm recently back too.

Dave42001

A guy told me once... "You're not a bad man, you're sick!" Don't be ashamed, get better!! Educate yourself, find one of the many programs out there and do it! You're making the first step and that's huge!! It can be done.. If I can do it anyone can!!

Pamel

Just cheering you on Roosta. My long history of sobriety has been punctuated with lots of relapse. Just like a plant, sobriety will die if not taken care of.

I am back again and owning every bit of my recovery: going to a lot of AA meetings, working with a sponsor, and handing in those awful court slips at EVERY meeting. I am no longer ashamed of what happens when I drink, but I do feel VERY responsible for the pain I have caused others. Right now I feel very humble and grateful to be back in the safe zone of sobriety.

divinespark

If you are "self-medicating" with alcohol for your PTSD, perhaps talk therapy alone is not enough? Have you discussed with your Dr. some potentially non-habit forming medical therapy for PTSD?

ND3579

Sounds like you have a good plan Roosta. Good luck to ya!

Hevyn

Glad to see you again, Roosta. We have to be ready - it sounds like you are. You never have to go back to that uncertain and dangerous place. You can do it.

roosta

Hi divinespark, I did try medication and attempted suicide about a week after starting. I'm wary of medication on that reason alone, plus my doctor is hesitant. The talk therapy has worked very well, I have overcome a couple of triggers. We may try exposure therapy in the future.

Staying sober is the best medicine for me right now. Staying sober will allow the ptsd treatment to work. I saw it working, I just didn't care enough to stop drinking. That life is not for me anymore. :-)

roosta

least

I'm glad you're back and giving it another go.

divinespark

Yikes. Good luck to you. Just keep reaching for as much face to face social support as you can get, and keep doing healthy things which will beget doing more healthy things. Keep your chin up.

Delilah1

Welcome back Roosta, I am working on getting my plan in place too.