Weasel1966

I recently went on a trip to a city to see if I wanted to pick up and settle somewhere else. There are many reasons I want this change but it was with my addicted eyes I saw things I never would have previously.

I saw every bar. Noted how many there were.... There was many more than my current environment.

I saw places my addictions could settle into comfortably had it not been that I can see them for what they really are.

I saw people that are marginalized in many ways that I could feel comfortable being around. I saw them through my addicted eyes as small opportunities to get at what I crave.

I saw me. Standing in the middle of the bustling city with a list of possible things to do.... Yet my addictions only saw few options. Again telling me the only thing to do is seek it out.

Never reacted to any of this but took it all in. Assessing each thought as it came my way.

But here is what I learned most from this trip... This exercise in observation.... That all those things are right outside the door of where I am today. They press me daily to be fed.

My addictive eyes will see what I saw on this trip EVERYWHERE I go.

The best part of this last year of learning to live differently is that I did see them. What was hidden before in my addictions is now exposed and I can see it before it sees me.

I need to make some changes still... Blow life up a little more to free myself. I will get there... With my addicted eyes wide open!