freeskier719

I'm new here and as of last Friday I've had enough of my drinking habit. I've been drinking pretty heavily since I was 21 (I'm now 31) and I'm ready to take responsibility and get myself mentally and physically fit.

I have been working on rebuilding a friendship with my ex and it has been going pretty well. However, last Friday night I had too much to drink and lashed out at her via text message. It was obvious to me the next morning that I had betrayed her trust once again and I was guilt stricken. I felt so bad that I drove over there on Saturday and personally apologized for my actions. She said she forgave me and understood (she's an angel). However I don't ever want to have to apologize for my drunken behavior again. I guess this is my first step to achieving that goal.

I happy to be here and hope to gain a lot from it.

neferkamichael

However I don't ever want to have to apologize for my drunken behavior again. I guess this is my first step to achieving that goal.

Freeskier, today I'm 1018 days sober. Guilt and shame have practically vanished and the reason why is I don't do and say things like I did when I was drunk. Sobriety really works. Rootin for ya.

freeskier719

Thanks for the kind words! I've been reading this forum for a while and figured it was time to join.

SnwFlower

Welcome freeskier, glad you are here! This is definitely a great place to start and for great support. It's helped me tremendously. Tomorrow is day 90 of complete sobriety and am so happy I made that decision. My health and every aspect of my life has already improved immensely now that I'm facing it all with honesty and complete clarity.

Stay tuned, you have lots of support here on SR!

least

You never have to feel that shame and guilt again. Living sober is a whole new way of life and so much better than the drinking life. I know you'll find lots of support here.

instant

Living sober is a lot easier, these dramas can be a thing of the past.

tootsl1

You have taken the first big steps. Now is the time to let go of the past, and move towards the future. Look at how you are going to work to maintain your sobriety. You will get plenty of support here, but only you can succeed.

I wish you well on your new journey. It is definitely worth it.

animalnurse9

Hey, welcome aboard I have only been sober 10 days, but that's 10 days of not doing anything shameful.its good!

freeskier719

Thanks for all the encouragement! Looks like many of us are just starting down the road to recovery. Good luck to us all!

Juneprottey

I am back again with the same view as you, never want to be apologising for the night before again, we can do it!!! I've fallen many times but this time I want to be a new person, one that takes responsibility for her actions rather than hiding behind the alcohol, I've not met her yet but I hope I will like her xx

Living

You just made the best decision of your life by choosing not to drink. Congratulations!

Davebizzle

If you are counting days of when you have been sober , what do you hope to achieve ? I mean seriously think about it. Counting the days is like saying 'I'll get there soon' but where exactly are you going ?

tootsl1

Dave, for some folk in the early days, it helps to count, for some each single day is an achievement and acknowledging that will boost damaged self esteem. We all have our coping mechanisms and if counting works... Don't discount it!

Davebizzle

That's fair enough but I don't believe in counting down days. If anything I think it damages the self esteem and you are certainly setting yourself up for failure because one day you'll think , 'oh I'm still counting and nothing has changed'. I think if you count everyday you are just going through the days , weeks , months and years just thinking about alcohol. Sooner or later you will have a weak moment then you'll think 'i can always count again tomorrow' before you know it , you are back on the drink. If you don't count the days you ain't starting a new system which basically is just you counting down the days. If you don't count thd days you ain't giving the alcohol no hold over you and you see that's the point it's really easy to stop drinking alcohol , you've just been conditioned to believe its not. I think your thinking is a bit messed up because yes that's probably what you done in the old days but realise this is now and this is what matters the 'now'. Thinking like you do and counting down the days 'like the old days' , just keeps you stuck in 'the old days'.

TTB

I am counting up, not down. Counting down to me means there is an end...there is no end. I am counting to infinity and beyond!