I'm back... Feeling pretty lousy today
 

It has been a while since I've been on SR and based on my title, I'm sure it is obvious what I've been doing with most of my free time - yep, drinking. I've been trying to convince myself that I can drink in moderation and that I do not have a problem - but I'm just lying to myself. Yesterday I started drinking around 2pm and didn't let up until I passed out around 10pm and this is after drinking probably 7-8 beers Friday night and getting up at 5am to go to work on Sat. Woke up feeling like crap this morning and feel like I'm running on empty today. Not how I wanted to spend a Sunday :(

When I first came to SR, I was determined to kick the habit. I posted up, signed on multiple times a day, even went to a couple of AA meetings, but I found those somewhat depressing. I felt like I didn't belong in those meetings b/c of all the talk about God and how he is helping everyone through their struggle. I am an atheist and didn't want to sit there and lie to myself or to a group of people about believing in something that I don't. I would appreciate any feedback people have for me that have been/are in a similar situation.

I'm going to make a doctor's appt. this week and go talk to him about my drinking and also about hopefully getting help again with ADD (I had it really bad as a child and still struggle with it at 30). I'm tired of this viscous cycle and I feel like alcohol controls almost everything I do. My only fear is, once it is in my medical history that I've been to see a Dr. about alcoholism, won't that affect things down the road like getting approved for life insurance, etc.??

I appreciate any help/support I can get.

Wow. Came back after 2 hours and was surprised to see how many times my post had been read without a single response. Thought I would get more support/encouragement than this. Not even a "welcome back" or "glad your here". Was it something I said?

Welcome back! I'm still struggling myself so I don't have any advice, but I think seeing the doctor is a good idea. I thought medical records were confidential, even from life insurance companies, but I'm really not sure.

Hey Time, welcome back.

I know what you mean about AA. I've never been, primarily because I don't want to listen to the talk you're talking about.

My advice, for what little it's worth, is to read the forums and see what people like you are saying and doing. Go to the 24 hour club and sign up. There are plenty of folks around to offer encouragement.

Good luck, buddy.

It is the weekend and people are busy. It's good that you're back though.

There is lots of good stuff to read here about recovery, so while you wait for replies why not read some of the stickies and some of the threads?

Welcome back! I am new here but wanted to offer some encouragement.

As far as the life insurance thing, I wonder the same thing myself. My husband and I just applied for some for myself and the nurse has to do a complete physical/blood work to get approved. In the phone interview I did not say "alcoholic" although I did mention some anti-depressants I am on. They asked me that prescribing doctor; he knows I drank but again I never told him "alcoholic". At this point I am 11 days sober and will be curious what my blood work comes back like, and whether or not any of this will affect the insurance situation. I will keep you posted.

In the meantime, welcome back!

PG

You're getting plenty of response now :)
Welcome back T2F :)

D

Thanks everyone. Just got done eating dinner and did not have alcohol along with it. I guess I can be proud of that.

Welcome back T2F..glad you're still trying to quit, that's a good thing. I didn't go to AA..I read lots of books, checked in here a LOT, changed some of my habits and social situations, tried journaling, tried a therapist, told some friends for some accountability, and just took it a day at a time. It does get easier. You can also check to see if there's a SMART meeting in your area and research Rational Recovery. You can do it!! It's not easy, but it's worth it.

Thank you very much for the helpful information. I'm certainly going to do my best and try different approaches.

Hello Time2Focus,
AA may not be your thing and the 'God' dependency may not be your thing, but have you read Steps 1,2 and 3 in the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions book? I like AVRT, but reading those 3 chapters give a good understanding of the 'Spiritual' perspective, and are not domineering in any way. The book is available for online read and download, and I highly recommend the short reads to get an alternate perspective if nothing else.

I know what you mean about AA. I've never been, primarily because I don't want to listen to the talk you're talking about.


I know what you mean about AA. I've never been... What??

Thanks for the advice. No, I have not read any of the Traditions book. I guess it can't hurt to give it a shot.