Meetings (not AA) ???
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
First, I would like to second those who say that different AA meetings can have WAAAAAY different vibes, so maybe try several different ones, since this is probably going to be the most easily located sort of group. Like they say, "take what you like and leave the rest."
Second, I recently found a 12-step program called "Buddha and the 12 Steps." Now, I am not Buddhist, and this group is small, but everyone in it seems very earnest in their pursuit of a better way. We have mainly alcoholics but also some overeaters and a substance addict or two, and then myself, an Alanon person. I LOVE this group. It is a book discussion (currently "One Breath at a Time") group and I feel such caring and deep sharing here, minus the religious-feeling things from Alanon. I found this group thru checking the calendar of our local Unitarian Universalist Church. I wonder if you could check the calendars of similar sorts of "non-denominational" churches near you and find a similar gathering that might feel more like home to you?
Whatever path or paths you pursue, I wish you the very best.
Second, I recently found a 12-step program called "Buddha and the 12 Steps." Now, I am not Buddhist, and this group is small, but everyone in it seems very earnest in their pursuit of a better way. We have mainly alcoholics but also some overeaters and a substance addict or two, and then myself, an Alanon person. I LOVE this group. It is a book discussion (currently "One Breath at a Time") group and I feel such caring and deep sharing here, minus the religious-feeling things from Alanon. I found this group thru checking the calendar of our local Unitarian Universalist Church. I wonder if you could check the calendars of similar sorts of "non-denominational" churches near you and find a similar gathering that might feel more like home to you?
Whatever path or paths you pursue, I wish you the very best.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
I liked LifeRing meetings and Women for Sobriety meetings. I want to try SMART meetings again.
For Women for Sobriety meetings, you have to call their phone number to get meeting info. I do not know how widespread their meetings are.
SOS meetings interest me but they do not seem very widespread.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html has lots of great info of various self-help meetings.
For Women for Sobriety meetings, you have to call their phone number to get meeting info. I do not know how widespread their meetings are.
SOS meetings interest me but they do not seem very widespread.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html has lots of great info of various self-help meetings.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Are there any charities/agencies that deal in addiction near you? There seems to be loads of them in the UK, and although they don't advertise it many of them run service user groups. The one near me has Relapse prevention meeting and a few other groups where people can come together to chat about solutions to their problem. They also run a SMART meeting which isn't advertised on the SMART website or theirs for that matter. I think it is for insurance reasons that everyone who turns up has to be registered with them. But that doesn't take much, they just do a one on one 'assessment' and then you can go to whatever groups you want. It's worth making a few phone calls because it seems a lot of what is available isn't online.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Aurora, CO
Posts: 79
Thank you for all the responses!
I am 4 months sober and I've just started to realize that in order to continue I probably need to seek some community support from others, at least sometimes. I am somewhere between atheist and agnostic and I disagree with several of the steps in AA. I consider that I am my own Higher Power and I am making a choice/decision not to drink. I don't agree with a lot of what RR likes to call "recoveryism." But that's not to say that I am disparaging AA, either. Different things work for different people, but with my outlook on life, AA definitely will not work for me. I did attend a meeting once because a Christian friend thought I would benefit. I did not like it one bit. and not because I wanted to keep drinking, but because what it was like was contrary to everything about me. Again, AA has worked for many people, so I am not disparaging for others.
I am simply looking for something interpersonal where people who are sober or striving to be sober can sit and share their experiences/emotions/challenges/support/whatever -- without being told they need to 'work the steps' or follow some other pre-arranged plan.
I have actually looked several times for groups like this online, and instead of getting names like SMART, Lifeline, SOS, etc, I have just gotten barraged with either "AA" or expensive chemical dependency rehab clinics advertisements. It's very frustrating. It makes someone with an alcohol problem think that either you go to AA or you spend all the money in your credit cards .... or .... you just magically quit drinking on your own, (using RR or a book or sheer will power). I chose the last option finally 4 months ago, thinking there wasn't anything else. Thanking my lucky stars that AT LEAST there was an online message board like this!
I am 4 months sober and I've just started to realize that in order to continue I probably need to seek some community support from others, at least sometimes. I am somewhere between atheist and agnostic and I disagree with several of the steps in AA. I consider that I am my own Higher Power and I am making a choice/decision not to drink. I don't agree with a lot of what RR likes to call "recoveryism." But that's not to say that I am disparaging AA, either. Different things work for different people, but with my outlook on life, AA definitely will not work for me. I did attend a meeting once because a Christian friend thought I would benefit. I did not like it one bit. and not because I wanted to keep drinking, but because what it was like was contrary to everything about me. Again, AA has worked for many people, so I am not disparaging for others.
I am simply looking for something interpersonal where people who are sober or striving to be sober can sit and share their experiences/emotions/challenges/support/whatever -- without being told they need to 'work the steps' or follow some other pre-arranged plan.
I have actually looked several times for groups like this online, and instead of getting names like SMART, Lifeline, SOS, etc, I have just gotten barraged with either "AA" or expensive chemical dependency rehab clinics advertisements. It's very frustrating. It makes someone with an alcohol problem think that either you go to AA or you spend all the money in your credit cards .... or .... you just magically quit drinking on your own, (using RR or a book or sheer will power). I chose the last option finally 4 months ago, thinking there wasn't anything else. Thanking my lucky stars that AT LEAST there was an online message board like this!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by miyako 
Thank you for all the responses!
I am 4 months sober and I've just started to realize that in order to continue I probably need to seek some community support from others, at least sometimes. I am somewhere between atheist and agnostic and I disagree with several of the steps in AA. I consider that I am my own Higher Power and I am making a choice/decision not to drink. I don't agree with a lot of what RR likes to call "recoveryism." But that's not to say that I am disparaging AA, either. Different things work for different people, but with my outlook on life, AA definitely will not work for me. I did attend a meeting once because a Christian friend thought I would benefit. I did not like it one bit. and not because I wanted to keep drinking, but because what it was like was contrary to everything about me. Again, AA has worked for many people, so I am not disparaging for others.
I am simply looking for something interpersonal where people who are sober or striving to be sober can sit and share their experiences/emotions/challenges/support/whatever -- without being told they need to 'work the steps' or follow some other pre-arranged plan.
I have actually looked several times for groups like this online, and instead of getting names like SMART, Lifeline, SOS, etc, I have just gotten barraged with either "AA" or expensive chemical dependency rehab clinics advertisements. It's very frustrating. It makes someone with an alcohol problem think that either you go to AA or you spend all the money in your credit cards .... or .... you just magically quit drinking on your own, (using RR or a book or sheer will power). I chose the last option finally 4 months ago, thinking there wasn't anything else. Thanking my lucky stars that AT LEAST there was an online message board like this!
I am 4 months sober and I've just started to realize that in order to continue I probably need to seek some community support from others, at least sometimes. I am somewhere between atheist and agnostic and I disagree with several of the steps in AA. I consider that I am my own Higher Power and I am making a choice/decision not to drink. I don't agree with a lot of what RR likes to call "recoveryism." But that's not to say that I am disparaging AA, either. Different things work for different people, but with my outlook on life, AA definitely will not work for me. I did attend a meeting once because a Christian friend thought I would benefit. I did not like it one bit. and not because I wanted to keep drinking, but because what it was like was contrary to everything about me. Again, AA has worked for many people, so I am not disparaging for others.
I am simply looking for something interpersonal where people who are sober or striving to be sober can sit and share their experiences/emotions/challenges/support/whatever -- without being told they need to 'work the steps' or follow some other pre-arranged plan.
I have actually looked several times for groups like this online, and instead of getting names like SMART, Lifeline, SOS, etc, I have just gotten barraged with either "AA" or expensive chemical dependency rehab clinics advertisements. It's very frustrating. It makes someone with an alcohol problem think that either you go to AA or you spend all the money in your credit cards .... or .... you just magically quit drinking on your own, (using RR or a book or sheer will power). I chose the last option finally 4 months ago, thinking there wasn't anything else. Thanking my lucky stars that AT LEAST there was an online message board like this!
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Hi Miyako:
thanks for starting this thread and for sharing your feelings. I can understand your frustration that it seems the options out there are limited. If it's any help:
would you consider one to one counseling help? I used an addictions counselor for quite a long time. I don't know how the system works in the states but I think there are some outpatient programs organized through various health centers that may be a reasonable cost.
There is the "minnesota method" but I think it might be available only through rehabs.
I hope you find a program that you like: rational recovery or some of the other programs suggested. I am an AA-er, but I absolutely do not claim that AA is the only way!
thanks for starting this thread and for sharing your feelings. I can understand your frustration that it seems the options out there are limited. If it's any help:
would you consider one to one counseling help? I used an addictions counselor for quite a long time. I don't know how the system works in the states but I think there are some outpatient programs organized through various health centers that may be a reasonable cost.
There is the "minnesota method" but I think it might be available only through rehabs.
I hope you find a program that you like: rational recovery or some of the other programs suggested. I am an AA-er, but I absolutely do not claim that AA is the only way!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,954
Originally Posted by miyako
I am simply looking for something interpersonal where people who are sober or striving to be sober can sit and share their experiences/emotions/challenges/support/whatever -- without being told they need to 'work the steps' or follow some other pre-arranged plan.
) life skills (like recovery tools, a naturalist spirituality practice, exercise, diet, get and give help to others, hobbies...etc) to keep me personally on track and draw my support on a personal level with sober friends. Maybe develop some friendships here at SR. Ones that will support your choices in recovery or life sans alcohol/drugs, plan or no plan.
Do take good care.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 429
I go to AA & Celebrate Recovery! Home
I am a big support of this. It is also just featured in the Movie "Home Run" Home Run - In Theaters Now
I get alot out of it!
I am a big support of this. It is also just featured in the Movie "Home Run" Home Run - In Theaters Now
I get alot out of it!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Eire
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by miyako
I am simply looking for something interpersonal where people who are sober or striving to be sober can sit and share their experiences/emotions/challenges/support/whatever -- without being told they need to 'work the steps' or follow some other pre-arranged plan.
Miyako, I attend LR meetings here in Ireland, and the meetings are exactly what you explained you are looking for.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
If there is a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship in your area, maybe give them a call. Many of them are fairly secular. Tons of agnostics, many atheists, and they often have discussion groups or host secular recovery groups in their buildings. Even if they don't have a specific group for recovery,. you might find some good fellowship and discussion on creating a balanced life in some of their other programs.
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