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What does it take to get past the first week

Old 04-28-2013, 06:51 AM
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What does it take to get past the first week

I have had many failed attempts at quitting. I go into it with full force but I never make it past 4 days. What is missing? When a craving hits, there is a battle in my head. Drink!!! vs not drinking
I always end up giving in. Why???

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Old 04-28-2013, 07:03 AM
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I think the two most important things are change and support.
I usually found one or both were lacking.

What have you been doing for your recovery diha?

D
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:08 AM
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Dee is absolutely right. Are you making any changes in those 4 days besides stopping drinking? For example, maybe you could start an exercise program, call an old friend who is not a drinking buddy, do whatever it takes to get through those initial cravings. The only way to lessen the cravings is to get through them. Each time will get a bit easier.
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:12 AM
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I asked myself that many times and finally someone said at an AA meeting something that clicked in that soft spot between the ears, I'm an ALCOHOLIC. And I can't drink in safety, it's that simple, not easy in the beginning but life does start getting much better when I got honest with myself. BE WELL
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:17 AM
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The support is definitely lacking. My family drinks a lot. They are also very judgmental and if I told them I was trying to stop,they would try even harder to keep me drinking. I see a therapist weekly and workout at least 3 times a week. Where can I get support when I cannot turn to family? My close friends all live at least 30 minutes from me.
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:26 AM
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There is a lot of support here for the asking. Many years ago I found AA to be of great benefit for me and millions of others keeping the plug in the jug AND enjoying things we used to. For me a great benefit is to be comfortable in my own skin and facing life on life terms. To this day that one has been a bit difficult at times, then I need MORE meetings where people understand us. BE WELL
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Old 04-28-2013, 10:20 AM
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If you have the Big Book, try reading through The Doctors Opinion and Bills Story. The important thing to realise is the powerlessness against the first drink and the insanity before it. When you feel that desire kicking in read from the B.B.
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Old 04-28-2013, 03:08 PM
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There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

The main thing tho - whatever you decide to do - is do something.
We have to make change if we want changes.

In my experience, inaction just leads to more drinking, diha....

D
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Old 04-28-2013, 03:53 PM
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The first month, I had to keep busy, especially in the evenings.

I had to get off my spot on the sofa, smash my favourite glass and turn of the TV.
I did all sorts.
I cleaned, I went to bed early, I came here, I surfed the internet, I read books in bed, cooked things for the freezer, some nights I went for a drive with loud music to get rid of my anger and cravings.

Gradually I did not find myself having to force myself to find something to do.
It sort of happened naturally.
It became second nature to not drink in the evenings or at weekends and do something else instead.

I also wanted it badly. Really wanted to not continue my life sat drunk on the sofa at 8pm in the evening waiting to black out.

The more days I put together, the more I did not want to drink and have to start at day 1 again.

Just keep going and give it all you have got.
It really is worth it.
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Old 04-28-2013, 04:27 PM
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What got me thru the first week was staying busy. I also walked my dogs a lot. Any time a craving hit I walked the dogs. They got a lot of walks for a while and I stayed sober.
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Old 04-28-2013, 04:30 PM
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Thank you for all the ideas. I have some issues with admitting you are powerless. It is just whatever works for you. I am trying again for 30 days sober starting tomorrow. The reason I am starting tomorrow is because I am a little hungover and I have beer in my fridge. I know that if I say today that I will fail. Tomorrow it its. I just bought my first home and I am moving this week so hopefully that will be enough to take my mind off it drinking. Although I tend to drink when I am stressed and this is pretty stressful.
I really wish that I had a significant other that would be here to help me through this. I feel very alone.
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Old 04-28-2013, 05:01 PM
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Diha- Keep coming back here. SR is a great place for support! I am a WI friend! I too struggled getting past that 4th day, the cravings were horrible and I just had to keep myself extremely busy to get through the intensity of everything. I am now 11 days sober which I have not had for a very, very long time and I can tell you that the aa method of taking it 24 hours at a time is working for me. I can make the decision not to take a drink today. Tomorrow may be different (I hope not) but I KNOW that I can make it 24 hours. Best wishes to you, feel free to PM me if you want. PG
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Old 04-28-2013, 05:02 PM
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Originally Posted by diha View Post
the support is definitely lacking. My family drinks a lot. They are also very judgmental and if i told them i was trying to stop,they would try even harder to keep me drinking. I see a therapist weekly and workout at least 3 times a week. Where can i get support when i cannot turn to family? My close friends all live at least 30 minutes from me.
aa
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Old 04-28-2013, 06:06 PM
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I have some issues with admitting you are powerless.
I'm not in AA but I have no problem in admitting I'm powerless over my addiction and against alcohol

We admitted we were powerless over our addiction that our lives had become unmanageable.
I proved it time and again - seems like you have too?

I'm actually more powerful than I've ever been now than at any other time of my life because I finally admitted my problem and gave up the drink.

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Old 04-28-2013, 11:43 PM
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Hiya Diha, I'm single too and at the start of quitting I also felt lonely. But once I got sober I found that my relationships with everyone around me quickly started getting deeper and more nourishing. I always knew that I was kind of dating booze, but until I quit I didn't realize just how much it had kept me separated from the people around me. Just hang in there, it'll start to get better.
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Old 04-28-2013, 11:47 PM
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I dunno, Dee! I think "powerless" can be a very helpful way for people to think, obviously. But not for me and for some others I think... When I'd try to quit before, I'd start up again because I felt powerless against my addiction. I would literally think "this is bigger than me, I don't have control, I can't fight it." This time I started telling myself that I had power against it, that it wasn't a set conclusion, that my actions did matter... and that helped me quit.
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Old 04-29-2013, 06:15 AM
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Originally Posted by diha View Post
Thank you for all the ideas. I have some issues with admitting you are powerless. It is just whatever works for you. I am trying again for 30 days sober starting tomorrow. The reason I am starting tomorrow is because I am a little hungover and I have beer in my fridge. I know that if I say today that I will fail. Tomorrow it its. I just bought my first home and I am moving this week so hopefully that will be enough to take my mind off it drinking. Although I tend to drink when I am stressed and this is pretty stressful.
I really wish that I had a significant other that would be here to help me through this. I feel very alone.
I had trouble admitting to my powerlessness too at the beginning. For me it was the crazy head leading up to that first drink and then the craving that meant I kept drinking more and more.
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Old 04-29-2013, 06:28 AM
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Originally Posted by fantail View Post
I dunno, Dee! I think "powerless" can be a very helpful way for people to think, obviously. But not for me and for some others I think... When I'd try to quit before, I'd start up again because I felt powerless against my addiction. I would literally think "this is bigger than me, I don't have control, I can't fight it." This time I started telling myself that I had power against it, that it wasn't a set conclusion, that my actions did matter... and that helped me quit.
I was just explaining why I have no problem with the concept....but your response is the perfect illustration for why there's more than one approach that works, Fantail

To move forward I had to give up ideas of ever being a normal drinker, and I needed to accept that I was the junior partner, and that my relationship with alcohol was toxic and would never change

D
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Old 04-29-2013, 08:23 AM
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My personal take is that while we may be powerless over our addiction - we only lose that power once we start drinking/using. We DO have the power to stop ourselves from taking that first drink/hit/pill though.
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Old 04-29-2013, 08:27 AM
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I just made it through my first week. I went to more meetings, posted here more often, and started doing other things during the times that I would normally want to drink. So far so good.
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