So much pain
 

I think I need rehab. One part of me says I'd the easy way out, and so does the other part.... I want to bail. But I also don't think I 'm going to beat this on my own. Not just the alcohol... The screwed up thinking, the self-mutilation, the resentment. I want someone to lock me down, tie me up, an save me from myself. A month of reprieve sounds like heaven. In the meantime, I'm terrified, extremely lonely, nd so,so, sad. I have a five year ld and ag four yer old. They should give me insurmoutable happiness, and all I fl is insurmoutable exhaustion.

I don't think I can o this until I gEt away from everythimg ele. I feel like I'm going to die.

Rehab isn't a bad idea. I think having support and being able to commit a lot of time to helping yourself not drink really is vital in the early days. Have you tried other stuff too like going to meetings? x

Meetings, intensive outpatient twice,. Locked up in yhre psych ward twice, jailed twice. I'd rather die than keep on living/feeling his way,

I don't think there is any easy way out but for some a structured environment is the best path. I go to meetings 6 times a week and I have heard many people talk about detox and rehab and for them it was not a sign of weakness but a stepping stone that got them on their feet and thinking clearly enough to go to the next step.

noexcuse,

Raising children IS exhausting - mentally, emotionally, and physically. I found that to be the case when mine were young and this was before I developed my unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

Rehab sounds like a fine idea - can you make that work?
If the only reason not go is that it's "the easy way," by all means take it easy!
You know it's not the end-all cure, but it will give you a running start to what comes next, right?

No one deserves to feel how you do right now.

Hang ON. I'd go as I don't do pain well, that's why I drank. Life IS so good after the plug is in the Jug, believe us! I keep saying :remember this pain after you stop drinking it doesn't have to be repeated if we DON'T pick up the FIRST drink.... BE WELL