When will he try to understand?

Old 04-27-2013, 03:36 PM
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When will he try to understand?

I sit here a remember the last conversation I had with my husband today before he left .... I know what I've done in the past is wrong I get that... I understand I haven't earned any trust back... but when will he try to understand that addiction is not something that is controlled... How can I get him to see I'm doing what I can.... he seems to think that the reason I'm on here is just to "chat" to be deceptive and hide what I'm doing... That's not true... It's much easier to talk to people who understand here than it is for me to find the time for a meeting... I live a very busy life and sometimes the times for meetings just aren't doable for me... but here it's 24 hours.. I can find someone to help me through anytime
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Old 04-27-2013, 04:19 PM
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I don't know what to say except that recovery sometimes sucks for everyone involved.
Keep your chin up. This is for you. We are here to listen.
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Old 04-27-2013, 04:19 PM
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Originally Posted by jstanthrgrl31 View Post
but when will he try to understand that addiction is not something that is controlled...
Probably never.

Not being able to control an addiction is no good reason to keep using an addictive substance. It may sound like a logical idea while in the midst of being addicted, but to a normie its probably just another excuse an addict has to continue their behavior.

I can tell you my wife took some time to get on board with my recovery. It has been 4 months so far and I finally see that she is starting to be more comfortable, happier, and trusting.

The proof is in the pudding. When I finally decided to do this sobriety thing for real the talking was over. We did not even have a conversation. No more sweet promises from me... It's all about action.

As far as him doubting your intentions here on SR I can relate. My wife did not like me on SR or going to meetings at first. Over time she has seen the results and eased off. Now that I am more comfy in sobriety I spend more time with family and less on recovery and I think that helps.

Time heals all. Words whisper and actions scream.

I am responsible for my recovery. I do not worry too much about what anyone else thinks about it.

If I let my wife control my sobriety I'd probably be drunk right now.
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Old 04-27-2013, 04:28 PM
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It's almost impossible to explain to the normies what we go through. As Fallow said, time usually takes care of the past hurt and confusion. All we can do is keep going forward and live the best life possible.
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Old 04-27-2013, 06:03 PM
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Good Wise words Fallow!
Unfortunately the "normies" think its like an illness you can just take a antibiotic or something & it can be cured.
But it can't.
I hope you can stay strong & continue to build you sober support system. Stay Strong!
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Old 04-27-2013, 06:31 PM
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I would say that you can just try to show him with your actions that you are changing, and that you have nothing to hide. Hopefully the respect will come soon.
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Old 04-27-2013, 06:37 PM
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Thank you everyone ... I appreciate all your advice ad support... It helps that I can get to you from anywhere any time
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