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-   -   How did your life change when you quit drinking? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/292753-how-did-your-life-change-when-you-quit-drinking.html)

Acheleus 04-26-2013 01:29 PM

How did your life change when you quit drinking?
 
So I am two weeks sober and feeling insane. Could you tell about some of the things that changed in your life as you continued down the sober path? I am feeling bad and want to head to the bars and mingle, but I cannot. Did you mature? Get healthy? Learn to process emotions? Thanks.:a108:

rainyengland 04-26-2013 01:31 PM

Great post - I'm just over 2 weeks in and going nuts!

Will be good to see comments :a108: too!

Jeni26 04-26-2013 01:50 PM

The first few weeks for me were insane....I was incredibly up and down and at times seriously wondered if it was worth it....I had to put my trust in those who told me to hang in there, that it would get better.

Now at 11 months, I really believe them. I have lost that obsession to drink. I honestly didn't believe I could ever make it past a Friday night without craving or caving, or both! Now I'm sitting here after a hellish day telling others that it will be ok. Yes, I'm healthier, happier and I no longer feel anxious or ashamed. My marriage is strong, and my relationship with my kids...well it is the one thing I wondered if I could ever rebuild, my one true regret in life. They are amazing and life is good, really good.

I still have bad days, I am still overly sensitive, I still doubt myself. But I never wake up wondering what I did the night before, who I might have upset. I never check my phone for messages I might have sent, I never spend half the weekend hungover.

It is really worth it. 100% x

hypochondriac 04-26-2013 02:21 PM

I'm happier since I quit drinking. I never thought that my drinking was standing in the way of my happiness, if anything I thought I would be less happy because I was 'giving up' something. I had to be more honest sober in order to recover and that led to me prioritising and making sure I wasn't doing things just to be a people pleaser.

And of course there is the obvious benefits such as improved health, both mental and physical, and just not feeling sick all the time.

I won't say it has been easy, but then nothing worth having ever is. But the difficulties and benefits kinda came in equal measures for some time so I never wanted to jack it in. I had to persuade myself sometimes though. It's a big adjustment and it is only natural that we tend to want to slip into old ways, but it is so worth sticking with it x

Dee74 04-26-2013 02:26 PM

My life didn't change very much for the first month, but I was pretty sick.

Day by day tho, things seemed to get a little easier a little brighter - my life still had ups and downs but eventually I found a kind of emotional equilibrium, and thats stayed with me.

I ended up making a lot of changes to my life beyond simply not drinking - I think thats important....I wasn't just not drinking anymore, I was changing as a person too - that happens when you deal with things instead of drinking over them.

Everyone's journey is individual Acheleus - the important thing is to have patience, and have a little faith too - things will work out :)

D

Acheleus 04-26-2013 03:23 PM

I don't know why but I need to get out and socialize but don't know where to go besides bars. Being isolated is making me sick. Maybe I will feel better in a few weeks. All of the horrible things that happened to my family have been plaguing me these past two weeks. I want a new gf. I guess that's only another way to fill the void.

Zebra1275 04-26-2013 03:26 PM

Like Dee said, you need to have patience. That's hard for alcoholics because we are used to instant gratification.

When I was drinking, if I didn't like the way I was feeling, I could have a drink(s) and change the way I feel in 10 minutes. Alcohol was useful for numbing feelings I didn't want to feel.

Now I don't do that anymore, so I had to learn new ways to deal with things, that in the past I would have drank over. For me, the fellowship of AA helped me to do that. But these changes didn't occur overnight.

Acheleus 04-26-2013 03:31 PM

I don't feel anything right now. I just want to be around people and not waste my life sitting alone. I am in school so maybe that is it.

hypochondriac 04-26-2013 03:42 PM

There are plenty of places to meet up with people outside of bars Acheleus. We always forget that. If you are in school are there any clubs you could join? Do you have friends who support your sobriety? If not going to an AA or SMART meeting would be a really good idea and is a great way to meet people and learn how to live sober :) x

Anna 04-26-2013 04:49 PM

I was lucky enough to fall into a volunteer position in very early recovery. It was one of those things that was meant to be and it really helped to save me. I thought I would be giving back and helping out, which I did, but the love I was given was totally unexpected. Volunteering is a great way to meet people. And, I started walking, every day, long distances. It helped me on so many levels. Make the changes in your life you need to make in order to recover.

deeker 04-26-2013 04:58 PM

I Got clean and sober through AA/NA. I got involved in service in AA/NA on the activities commitee. We plan the sober events. Last Summer was best summer I ever had. Sober beach parties, bonfires, kareoke, dances, kickball games, softball games . I started chairing AA/NA meetings.

After 6 months clean I started speaking at detox once a week. Same detox I was in by the way 6 months earlier.

Was elected secretery of H and I. We bring meetings into detox and jail and pscyh wards.

I started chairing AA meetings on line.

My family came around and forgave me. I got my drivers license back after 7 years. woohooo! All my criminal things are 7 years behind me and don't show up on a level ll background anymore wooohooo!

I got a full time job.



I found SR!

I found myself! Life is good most days, except going thru menopause. lol
I am a total B the last 2 weeks. But I am clean and sober and I laugh a lot!! :)

PS The good stuff can happen in under a year if u work for it.

Living 04-26-2013 05:03 PM

I am at day 11 and things have changed dramatically for me for the good.

I no longer wake up with the foggy head and shakes. I am eating healthier and taking vitamins which has resulted in much needed weight loss. My husband, friends and family enjoy being together. But the most important thing is I am slowly regaining my health.

In case you did not read my post yesterday; after many years of daily wine consumption, I developed Ulcerative Colitis, high blood pressure and worst of all a fatty liver with high liver enzymes. My body cannot handle alcohol and the sugar. I was in pain all over the abdomen and especially the colon.

If being told that you are killing yourself over a drink and could have liver failure, I assure you that is enough to make you hate alcohol and enjoy a healthy lifestyle.

Hang in there and look at the positives of not drinking. You can do it!

least 04-26-2013 05:05 PM

The longer I was sober the less I hated myself. :) Now I don't hate myself at all.:)

LDT 04-26-2013 05:10 PM

What least said .... Exactly :)

Acheleus 04-26-2013 05:16 PM

I have been eating healthier and feel my negative thoughts fading. I felt like dirt earlier because I got sunburnt today and it made me feel damn for sitting in the sun like a fool. I keep a sober journal on my computer and I can look back at my black and white thinking. It's only been two weeks but I want to learn to love my self so I can have a wife one day. I am 27 and see peers marrying and Iwas just abandoned by a girl I dated and lived with for five years. I met her when I was drunk of course and it was not a healthy relationship. I'm just tired. I have gray hairs on the side of my head and I think I will ever get married and I just want to have a normal life. But I can only talk to girls when tipsy. Sorry to complain and moan. I just feel like a total loser bc I have no friends and hate my self. I just hope being sober will be a step toward me learning to love my self. I also am trying to three papers at once and I feel dumb as dirt. Thanks to SR I have not drank in two weeks. I like hearing the positive stories of people with long term sobriety. I just feel like my youth is over because all I do is isolate and read and write to make sure I don't go out and drink.

sugarbear1 04-26-2013 06:17 PM

Find an activity or club that doesn't have time for drinking, they are out there, if you look for them.

Keep staying stopped!!

Mizzuno 04-26-2013 07:12 PM

Lets try to think of activities that you can do that do not involve drinking and will also produce a higher self esteem. Do you like any sort of martial arts? Painting? Golfing, running, kayaking, cycling? Getting out and getting involved in something will help you to meet people and to build up your self image.
My life has changed immensely since I quit drinking. I enrolled into school. I have the beginning stages of a company up and running. I currently work at a little Eatery in the town I live. The outlook that i have towards life is for the most part a positive one. Now that the weather has been agreeable, I started to make yard art. I have been hunting in the thrift stores for projects. I did not have any free time when I was drinking. All the time that i had was being used to drink or recover from drinking. School, work, my own business stuff and art type projects are keeping me busy with enough time for other stuff. The thing about all of this is that you get to create your reality. So, create something that is worth remembering. One of the amazing things that you are doing is finishing up these papers. I would feel so accomplished with all of that. You are doing it. Its pretty amazing!

Acheleus 04-26-2013 07:20 PM

I have paints and write stories. I like fishing but grad school has taken up allmy time. When school is out I will go fish at a park in town and find a bicycle to buy. Thanks Miz. In June I go back to school for a language class. The stress level has hit the ceiling this week. I'm just freaked out but glad I am not drinking. When I finish these papers I will find new hobbies and try to meet people. Grad school is kind of like being a monk. I did get an A- on a paper I turned in weeks ago. I'm never drinking again.

Acheleus 04-26-2013 07:24 PM

Thank you guys for sharing. SR is very important to me and I appreciate all the positive support on this site. I'm about to cry and I wish I could give you all chocolate and hugs. I know sobriety is the most important decision of my life.

ivegotsunshine 04-26-2013 07:51 PM


Originally Posted by Acheleus (Post 3938006)
. I'm just tired. I have gray hairs on the side of my head and I think I will ever get married and I just want to have a normal life. But I can only talk to girls when tipsy. Sorry to complain and moan. I just feel like a total loser bc I have no friends and hate my self. I just hope being sober will be a step toward me learning to love my self. I also am trying to three papers at once and I feel dumb as dirt. Thanks to SR I have not drank in two weeks.

May I just make a couple points
Good
1- you are being thankful. Keep doing that. Say thank you for things that seem insignificant. The cloud sharing the sun when driving, the person who holds the door for you. It will help keep you humble

2- my husband has had gray hair for 10 years. He is now 36 and I think he is the sexiest man alive

3- please don't put yourself down. Others will see you as you see yourself.

And I quit drinking I had a hallucination. It scared the crap out of me. My hands shook. They still do. I am only 4 years older than you. I try to focus on the positives every day. Always look for something brighter and that is what you will find. I am 118 sober from alcohol. I am not cured. I struggle often but I m ow this is what is best for me. Pece and the Best of luck to you


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