weirdesttoner

Where i started? everyday drinking. i couldn't imagine going to sleep without being passed out. For 5 full years!
4 months passed since i wanted a change...

I thought i could become anyone i want and do anything i want! Alcoholism is nothing i can't manage.
Well, i was wrong!!!
Here i am, 4 months later. I don't drink daily now. In the begining, i could have 2 or 3 days sober followed by 4 or 5 days driking as it is the last day on earth!

Where i am? Not far, unfortunately...
I can have now 5 days sober, but the urge crushes me and i go on 1day bender (especially saturday evening, unplanned evening), followed by 2 or 3 days of deep depression.

I feel now beyond sadness. I want to escape this vicious circle, but i don't have an idea how

ScottFromWI

Have you tried just quitting completely? Moderation is difficult, if not impossible for most of us. I tried several times and always ended up back at my old ways.

weirdesttoner

I know! That is what i tried! I wanted to be sober forever, not a binger. I never wanted that! I never tried to moderate my drinking, i always tried to stop it completely!

Dee74

Welcome back WS.

Have you thought anymore about real life support - AA or some other group, Dr. counsellor, inpatient or outpatient rehab??

D