Seeking Clarity
 

Hey guys, decided to make an account here and hopefully become part of the community. I would like to give a little info about myself and see if some people can relate.

I've always been a drinker, starting at about age 17. The drinking happened always on the weekends. I would get drunk but never really completely blackout. That happened probably only 2-3 times a year, and at that time I thought that was a little extreme. About a year ago, when I was 20, I had my first panic attack after a day of heavy drinking and it was so completely foreign to me. It was appalling! I've had anxiety my whole life but never to the point where I couldn't handle it.

Anyways, my anxiety became increasingly worse and I started to drink a lot more. I would drink hard liquor, around 8-9 shots a night for about 4 months straight. I then started drink a lot of beer everyday. I built up a crazy tolerance for alcohol. At my worst, I was drinking about 12 beers a night just to feel somewhat tipsy. When I would go out, the amount would only intensify. I would black out completely and hardly remember anything. It started to feel normal. All this drinking has made my anxiety worse and has even caused me to feel even more depressed than I ever have.

So all in all, I've been drinking every day for a little over year just to put a band-aid on my anxiety. Not to say I don't drink to have fun, which I do, but I take it overboard and get ****** up a little too much.

I've decided to get sober and it's only been two days. I've tried a couple times but it didn't last more than a week. The only reason I'm doing this is for my health. Both physically and mentally. My mind definitely does not think as clearly as it did a year ago but I'm hoping to regain that clarity back! I'm already thinking about drinking due to the boredom and happiness it brought. It feels pretty sad because I feel like I'm ditching a good buddy thats been by my side for a long time.

Well, thats my spill. Any advice would be appreciated! Happy to be here :)

Welcome to SR!

Sounds like a great reason to me! Congrats on the sober time. Advice I would have? Read around SR and see what's worked for folks. Find something that fits for you. Good luck and keep us posted. :)

Hi Shawn :)

Yeah, I thought drinking was helping my anxiety but it was actually making it worse....
I think seeing a Dr is a good bet if you have anxiety issues :)

As far as sobriety goes, you'll find a ton of support here :)
Welcome!

D

Welcome to SR ShawnDub :)

To be honest it sounds like drinking caused your anxiety so I hope you'll find things improving now you're sober. That was certainly my situation anyway though it took me a while to figure it out. I couldn't understand why my anxiety was getting worse as I got older as I thought it'd get better. It got so bad that I would be having multiple panic attacks whenever I wasn't at home drinking. Not a fun way to live.

You'll find a lot of support here anyway. Why not join the Class of April thread to help keep you accountable and get support from people who are quitting at the same time as you. I found that really helped me.

Glad you're here x