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Old 04-27-2013, 04:12 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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I realty hope so. The withdrawals went on for months last time and I was taking much less and not snorting it. I just don't get how it will
Work.
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Old 04-27-2013, 05:46 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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MLC,
If you're committed to this detox May 1, as it seems your best option, after looking into everything.......I'd stop looking at the Benzo Buddy site. I don't think the information there will change much in a couple of days and you can discuss what you're read, your past experiences and other concerns, at intake. I suggest this as a means of reducing your anxiety. Maybe think about putting together a list of concerns, then focus on what you and hubby can do together in the next few days, to make things smoother at home, while you're away.
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Old 04-27-2013, 06:02 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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one day at a time
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Old 04-27-2013, 06:34 AM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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I'd like to commend all of the posters on this thread for their infinite patience and kindness toward OP....it is amazing restores my faith in goodness.
MLCrisis..i hope that you safely get to detox and trust in the process, you need to grab the life preserver.
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Old 04-27-2013, 08:09 AM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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MLC: One thing emerges from all your posts. That you are very frightened and also quite angry. I can identify with that and I suspect that other on SR can also do that. Most of us have been there in one way or another. We know how hard it is for you and we are trying to help. No one is perfect and sometimes we may not say things which sound too supportive. But we want to help you and we are so sorry that you are feeling so scared. I can't speak for the others but all I wanted to say is that we are concerned and we want to help. We are on your team and we are rooting for you. It won't be easy but if you hang in there the sun will break out for you and you will have more happiness than you ever had. Believe! Just believe! And most important of all, believe in yourself. Your real self!
Every good wish to you MLC. You are in our hearts and prayers.

W.s
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Old 04-27-2013, 08:40 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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Hi MLC. Its another day here for me. I believe it is Sunday for you and Saturday for me. What a trip. I hope that you are well. The evening is coming to a close for you, I think. Sleep up MLC. Rest does a body good.
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Old 04-27-2013, 09:56 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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Hope you are doing well MLC. Checking in and sending you another big cyber hug. You are clearly doing the right thing by going to detox. Everything is going to be fine, and it will all work out.
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Old 04-27-2013, 10:41 AM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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MLC,
I can relate to your fear. That is what kept me from quitting. Now that I have, I realize my fear was fed by the pills and was worse than reality.
Its like the anticipation of getting a flu shot for my kids. They freak out over it beforehand, and then afterwards, realize it wasn't as bad as they thought. No amount of reasoning would calm their fears, they just had to do it. Every year is the same! I was like that with quitting my pills. It wasn't a cake walk, but it wasn't impossible. And I am awash with relief now that the worst is over.
Try not to overthink it. Sincere wishes for the best for you and your family!
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Old 04-27-2013, 11:03 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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Just wanted to give you a Saturday morning hug.
Friendly suggestion: line up a plan of recovery for when you come out. Maybe subscribe to the Loner newsletter, join "In the rooms" and also you might consider ordering Rational Recovery. I use AVRT along with AA and it is a great set of tool. I got my copy on ebay for a few bucks from the Goodwill you might want to get one as that system caters to people who don't do meetings for one reason or another.
My advice would be not to make it super duper complicated but have a few sets of tools ready and waiting when you come out.
I read somewhere that people who go to a meeting right after being released from rehab/detox are far less likely to relapse so try to hit a video meeting when you get home.
Hang in there girl, maybe you cannot do it but WE can do it.
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Old 04-27-2013, 04:35 PM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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Thanks everyone. I'm really scared reading benzo buddies. People coming off small doses like 4 and 10mg a day saying rapid detox have them symptoms for months. What is my level of use gojng to produce? Last time it was hellish enough. I don't want to go through it all only
To have to go back on them.
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Old 04-27-2013, 04:43 PM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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Someone else gave you the advice not to read other forums where the medical advice rules are not like they are here.

I think it's good advice.

It's like diagnosing yourself via Google.

You'll only scare yourself.

D
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Old 04-27-2013, 05:10 PM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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Hi MLC - first up, I want to publicly apologise for my remarks about your hubby and pastor, as they clearly upset you no end.

I was, in part, I think, projecting frustrations from my own experience with my first husband who was a welfare worker with pretty much the same sort of clients your hubby works with now. And I did some of that kind of work myself for a few years, mostly in foster care and the old 'State Ward' system.

Plus I've known a few pastors (many years ago, in some of the liberal church groups we were part of then) who did what they could - as all do - but didn't necessarily know how to deal with very fraught and complex family situations.

Oh, and my second 'husband' (defacto) who was a great psychologist in training at that time, years ago, but who was also, in private life, a sociopath.

I guess I'm just reflecting on that old adage 'physician, heal thyself': i.e. the professional role we have in our work lives doesn't translate to applying the same tools to our personal lives. I hope sincerely that you might understand that it was THAT - and that only! - which I bumblingly responded to the other day.

Anyway, NOW - I am still thinking of you, with only two days to go now before detox. I certainly DO care about how things pan out for you, and will be interested to see you progress. meantime, I'm sure the kids will survive you being away for two weeks, and I hope hubby's foot injury doesn't give him too much grief.

And yeah, echoing what the others say: keep off what - as a long time user of such places, hypochondriac, me :-) - call the Hysteria / Freak Me Out medical condition websites!
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Old 04-27-2013, 05:31 PM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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Thx will reply after church x
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Old 04-28-2013, 02:20 AM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by wpainterw View Post
MLC: One thing emerges from all your posts. That you are very frightened and also quite angry. I can identify with that and I suspect that other on SR can also do that. Most of us have been there in one way or another. We know how hard it is for you and we are trying to help. No one is perfect and sometimes we may not say things which sound too supportive. But we want to help you and we are so sorry that you are feeling so scared. I can't speak for the others but all I wanted to say is that we are concerned and we want to help. We are on your team and we are rooting for you. It won't be easy but if you hang in there the sun will break out for you and you will have more happiness than you ever had. Believe! Just believe! And most important of all, believe in yourself. Your real self!
Every good wish to you MLC. You are in our hearts and prayers.

W.s
I am scared. Terrified. Not so much angry. I have forgiven everyone from my past.
Maybe not myself though. I was angry at some posts yesterday. Thanks
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Old 04-28-2013, 03:26 AM
  # 55 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Mizzuno View Post
Hi MLC. Its another day here for me. I believe it is Sunday for you and Saturday for me. What a trip. I hope that you are well. The evening is coming to a close for you, I think. Sleep up MLC. Rest does a body good.
Thanks. Something I have done alot of lately is sleep! I fell asleep at church this morning, whoops.
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Old 04-28-2013, 03:28 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Carlotta View Post
Just wanted to give you a Saturday morning hug.
Friendly suggestion: line up a plan of recovery for when you come out. Maybe subscribe to the Loner newsletter, join "In the rooms" and also you might consider ordering Rational Recovery. I use AVRT along with AA and it is a great set of tool. I got my copy on ebay for a few bucks from the Goodwill you might want to get one as that system caters to people who don't do meetings for one reason or another.
My advice would be not to make it super duper complicated but have a few sets of tools ready and waiting when you come out.
I read somewhere that people who go to a meeting right after being released from rehab/detox are far less likely to relapse so try to hit a video meeting when you get home.
Hang in there girl, maybe you cannot do it but WE can do it.
Thanks. Yeah I will have lots if time jn detox to think about getting a plan together. Last time I did rehab I went to meetings everyday. Stayed clean for sometime but then relapsed worse than ever. (Heroin and meth) Not this time.
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Old 04-28-2013, 03:30 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Someone else gave you the advice not to read other forums where the medical advice rules are not like they are here.

I think it's good advice.

It's like diagnosing yourself via Google.

You'll only scare yourself.

D
Yeah I know. It's just a couple of people on here suggested to go and look at benzo buddies so I did. And I'm scared as well due to my own experience with fast Valium detox last time. I guess I'll just have to see what happens and pray for the best. This is what I mean when I say I will ask lots of questions of medical staff which seems so offend some people on here. I like to be informed and it is my right as a consumer of health care.
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Old 04-28-2013, 03:35 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by bemyself View Post
Hi MLC - first up, I want to publicly apologise for my remarks about your hubby and pastor, as they clearly upset you no end.

I was, in part, I think, projecting frustrations from my own experience with my first husband who was a welfare worker with pretty much the same sort of clients your hubby works with now. And I did some of that kind of work myself for a few years, mostly in foster care and the old 'State Ward' system.

Plus I've known a few pastors (many years ago, in some of the liberal church groups we were part of then) who did what they could - as all do - but didn't necessarily know how to deal with very fraught and complex family situations.

Oh, and my second 'husband' (defacto) who was a great psychologist in training at that time, years ago, but who was also, in private life, a sociopath.

I guess I'm just reflecting on that old adage 'physician, heal thyself': i.e. the professional role we have in our work lives doesn't translate to applying the same tools to our personal lives. I hope sincerely that you might understand that it was THAT - and that only! - which I bumblingly responded to the other day.

Anyway, NOW - I am still thinking of you, with only two days to go now before detox. I certainly DO care about how things pan out for you, and will be interested to see you progress. meantime, I'm sure the kids will survive you being away for two weeks, and I hope hubby's foot injury doesn't give him too much grief.

And yeah, echoing what the others say: keep off what - as a long time user of such places, hypochondriac, me :-) - call the Hysteria / Freak Me Out medical condition websites!
Thank you for apologising. It really upset me because these two people are some of the most beautiful and supportive people in the world. I would have killed myself last year if not for them. Apology accepted and I got an inkling that you were speaking from your own hurt. My husband does not support me professionally but personally. And my pastor and his wife are invaluable prayer support for me. He is free from addiction abd with all these people around me who have not even smoked a cigarette or made a prank call in their lives it is SO nice to have someone who gets it but is also a man of god who has some through the other side.
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:25 AM
  # 59 (permalink)  
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MLC: You seem to have a strong religious faith, and the support of your pastor. Although many have recovered who at least professed to have little faith, I've never heard anyone, believer or not, ever say that having some kind of faith is not an advantage. I worry a lot, often unnecessarily, and envy those who can just have faith that someone up there will take care of them. So I'm so glad that you can get support from your pastor. One thing is quite clear from the Christian religion. Christ made a special effort to help those who were in trouble.

W.
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Old 04-28-2013, 03:03 PM
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In case I miss you, best wishes MLC

D
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