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Old 04-26-2013, 08:21 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I hope you the best. Many people here have taken quite a bit of their time writing to help you, much more than the majority of other posters.

I view SR as a gift. Use what you can leave the rest. May your recovery be swift and sure.

The easiest answer is to not drink or drug no matter what, clean house, rely on a power greater than you, and help the other addict achieve sobriety and abstinence.
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Old 04-26-2013, 08:23 PM
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MLC I have read a lot of your threads but never posted because I do not have a familiarity with ED's or prescription meds. I do sympathize with the struggles you have been having though.

I found out most of my struggles were internal, but that is the last place I wanted to look. For every external reason I had, I still needed an internal solution anyway.

I hope you decide to stay here and post your success story as it unfolds. I look forward to reading about it.
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Old 04-26-2013, 08:34 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by bigsombrero View Post
MLC you receive at least 2 dozen replies for every one of your posts. Several struggling newcomers and insightful veterans posting questions don't get a fraction of the attention and support that you do here. Lashing out at SR, which is probably your last lifeline of support and sympathy at this point, just shows how sick you really are. And the reality is that many of us have been that sick ourselves.

I'm happy to hear you are going to treatment. Good luck.
As I said. When a couple of people started attacking my pastor and my husband etc i couldn't take it anymore. I could not stop crying. I just thought I could finally be honest about everythjbg on here but obviously not.

Also not talking ownership or responsibility?!!! I have no idea how anyone has gotten that idea at all. I completely blame myself. I feel
Every second feeling guilty about missed moments with my kids and I always have. Every word that comes out of my mouth I second guess and dwell on. I make myself sick with worry at how much I am burdening my husband.
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Old 04-26-2013, 08:47 PM
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MLC please try to look at the positive in your situation. You are going into a detox. Positive. Your husband and children are with you. Positive. You have support from your Pastor and others. Positive.
Im just thinking that we can turn this thread into a positive thing and roll with it.
I am grateful for my family and the love that i receive on a daily basis.
What is one thing that you are grateful for at this moment?
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Old 04-26-2013, 08:52 PM
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Hot water
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Old 04-26-2013, 09:00 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis View Post
Hot water
Now this is something to be grateful for. I know what it is like to not have hot water. I dont take it for granted at all.
I am grateful that the weather is turning. It is starting to get hot here.
How about something else that you are grateful for?
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Old 04-26-2013, 09:50 PM
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Flushing toileys
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Old 04-26-2013, 09:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis View Post
Flushing toileys
What would that be?
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Old 04-26-2013, 09:54 PM
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Lol toilets
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Old 04-26-2013, 10:06 PM
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Toilets are one of the best inventions MLC. I mean, I just could not handle an outhouse or digging a hole. I am grateful that i live where I do. Some people do not have flushing toilets. Some people do not have running water. If i lived in another country, it might be the normal for me to dig a hole or use something else. I feel like this is something that CAN be taken for granted. I am glad that you posted that.
Are you grateful to be going to Detox and to get on with your life?
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Old 04-26-2013, 10:18 PM
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Yes and no. I'm worried that my husband has gone out with our youngest and I don't know where they are
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Old 04-26-2013, 10:31 PM
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Im sure that they are fine. They will be back. I can tell that you are anxious for all of this. If you can, try to stay calm and know that everything will be alright. You are getting the help that you need.
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Old 04-26-2013, 11:05 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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I'm worried. Last night at 2am he was yelling at me saying I was a drug ****** idiot and many other things. Got home from soccer with eldest 4 now he's gone with my 2 year old /(
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Old 04-26-2013, 11:42 PM
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Ok they are baxk
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Old 04-26-2013, 11:44 PM
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I'm glad

D
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Old 04-26-2013, 11:57 PM
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Thinking of you today MLC x

No wise words from me, just a hug sent your way x
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Old 04-27-2013, 12:43 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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Glad they're back and safe!

I've been lurking and following your threads for awhile, but I've never really had anything constructive to offer. Don't know much about prescription meds. I hope your detox goes safe and is comfortable.

You can do this, lady.
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Old 04-27-2013, 03:20 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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I read your post this morning (that you were leaving) with interest and then went back to read your previous posts so I could get a view of what was going on. Honey I really dont think people were bashing your husband or pastor. I think what they were trying to say is that post detox you need proper professional help. Your pastor sounds lovely and like he has given you amazing support, however my sister is a pastor and as part of her role she has a duty of care to report to child protective services any relevant concerns as well as to adult mental health any concerns regarding vulnerable adults. Its mandatory & the law in the UK. I think what people meant is that they question the rational judgement of your pastor as he has not done this. That maybe his judgement is skewed by the fact that he is a former addict himself (is that right?) Maybe he's confusing the bounderies a little. But no doubt i am sure that he is giving you major support. Your husband, well husbands are too close to us to always be constructive. Loving and supportive yes, but constructive, in my experience not always!
I am detoxing from 240mg a day of Codeine, 1000mg of Tramadol, Diazepam and a few Oxy thrown in for good measure. I have also had anorexia most of my life. I am currently a size 6 and that is the healthiest iv been. I am a mum of 2, professional (im an RN in an ER) my husband is a Cardiologist, I have a nice home, loving family, sister who is a pastor, Kids at private school, I, like you do all the extra sports, soccor mom ..dance classes...childrens groups at my church but under it all hides this shameful problem. And I was endangering my kids, being a zombie at home endangers your kids. Imagine for a minute the house was on fire, and you couldnt rescue your kids coz you were zonked asleep (like with the asthma attack) ...this is the kind of thing I am focusing on to keep me sober. Whether I realised it or not I was endangering my children. Trust me I get you! Im day 24, I did an outpatient detox programme, it was tough iv been an addict for 4 years, but im getting there. Its only now im out the other side I look at my behaviour and realise how emotionally absent I was & such a zombie! You say about not touching illegal drugs. Well arnt all drugs illegal if they are obtained for reasons other than absolute medical necessity. (yes i know you 'need' them now because of your tolerance) but in the UK prescription drugs are viewed as illegal drugs if taken recreationally. Also they are NOT designed to be snorted? I thought because i wasnt taking coke or heroin i wasnt a drug addict, I AM! Oh my goodness ; 17 valium, codeine and wine - iv had dead people on a trolley in front of me in the ER on less than that. My darling be so careful. You dont want one last hoorah before detox to kill you. Trust me the drugs will kill you before your ED does. That comes from personal & professional experience.
I hope your detox goes well, and remember although people can sometimes be eccentric in expressing their opinions, everyone on here is here for the same reason and mean well and are coming from a place of love I am sure. I am sending you a big hug, be strong, and get yourself through this next few days to detox safely.
You can see from your posts that you are at the end of your rope. You need the support & mental health intervention that detox is going to give you. That is a responsible move and you are doing it for yourself, and the love of your children and husband. Good for you. Lots of love & hugs xxx

Last edited by fruitymarzipan; 04-27-2013 at 03:27 AM. Reason: forgot something
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Old 04-27-2013, 03:31 AM
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Thanks. My last hoorah was the other night when I posted. I have been an illegal iv
Drug user in the past but am under no illusion that this is any less destructive and it will
Lead to the other before long.

I was on a similar mix of drugs to what you described last year and detoxed myself and stayed sober. The Valium was the worst and I'm so scared of doing it again.

I've been reading benzo buddies and they reckon 90% of people who detox rapidly have to reinstate due to terrible long lasting withdrawal. It went on for a couple of months last tkme and I am taking lots more this time. So I don't know if its even gojng to be a good thing
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Old 04-27-2013, 03:52 AM
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I'd stop trying to second gues stuff, MLC - it's pretty much the only thing you have right now MLC.

I've heard good things about the programme - I think I'd rather trust the hospital than the internet.

D
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