Struggling a bit today...
 

I've had a nice run of good days. Days where I don't think about drinking or not drinking. For the first time in about a week, i'm feeling the urge to drink. I'm not going to, I'm not going to give in, I'm not even really worried about that.

I'm just tired of fighting the cravings. I figured going nearly a week with no real cravings or anything I'd be rested up and ready to fight off another one. And I guess I am a bit, cause I'm not even worried about giving in to it, i'm just not going to.

But I feel a little down and depressed that I'm sitting here wanting to drink.

I just don't want to "want to drink" anymore. Everything I am mentally aware of doesn't want to drink. But that damned little voice in there somewhere is pestering me.

I'm going to go chain smoke some cigarettes, I'm sick of smoking too, when I feel a little more comfortable with my new sober life, i'm going to try to kick those too.

Thanks for reading,
it means a lot to me...

I'm off to wage the battle...

I honestly think that the urge to drink will never, ever leave me 100%. But i'm OK with that. I had such a relationship with beer for all those years that I know I'll never completely get all those thoughts out of my mind. I just expect them and deal with them as they come. No sense in feeling down, your body has a good memory.

How about a ice cold coca cola with a crap load of ice :)
Works for me.

Or a iced capachino from honey dew.. mmmmmmmmmm

I enjoy a alcoholic beverage every so often and Im going to admit that I crave a beer every so often lately. Im trying to stay 100% clean right now because im battling with wanting to smoke cocaine. I had to put it down for a bit to clear my head. I understand this urge to have one. Its probably not as bad as yours and is probably easy for me to ignore but I just go and quench my thirst with something else. it seems to work.

It gets better Dib, 1 day at a time...I drank for 40 years. My first year I was amazed at how the obsession was lifted in that first year. Sure, I have a thought now & then, but it comes & goes quickly...especially when I reflect on the damage & loss that drinking caused me in my life...

Thanks for your replies everyone.

I know it gets better, I remember the first week and the second first week, and the third first week, LOL (quitting is hard sometimes.) but it was a minute to minute battle, very exhausting, and then I started having good days on rare occasions, then by week 6 (i think that's where I'm at, I don't keep track anymore, just made me want to celebrate milestones by drinking) anyway, by week 6 I had more good days than bad days, So I know it gets better... I'm just a little emotionally exhausted right now, and am annoyed that I'm craving some whiskey. On the positive note, my thought process is something along the lines of "OMG craving, I am too tired to deal with you today, I'm not going to drink so just give it up already or go about your business"

I remember my first 90 days. I was either thinking about drinking or thinking about not drinking. It gets exhausting. Recovery fatigue. But I look at it like a battle. My addiction is looking for a weakness. If I cave, my addiction will exploit that weakness for all its worth and it will be tens times worse than if I don't drink.

Best to just deal with current pressure. Imagine how difficult starting at square one will be.

It's only been a little over a month for me. I'm still struggling every day. Then again I think struggle is part of the human burden. I just keep thinking about how I'm going to feel when I wake up. Am I going to wake up feeling fairly good and somewhat rested or am I going to wake up feeling sick, sad, and guilty. So far it's been enough to get me through the each evening.

Yeah alcohol is a wicked mistress. Always there for you. Those first couple of months were very tough and at 8 months I can still struggle some days. You are doing a good thing by discussing it. Kuddo's for that.

I still over think so much stuff. Like Carl said you think about drinking and not drinking and if you are living right, blah blah blah. I try to get down to the basics. I know I can't drink. It is just a fact. No debate. No thinking.

It will get better Dib so hang in there.

This week, every day after work whilst walking home, I have also had the urge to drink. I can feel it coming as the working day ends and is in full flight by the time I leave. I just have to concentrate on what happens when I give in to it. Replay the tape of the consequences, and also concentrate on just getting home, saying hello to my dog, and making a cup of coffee. So I know what you're going through. I hate it, I really do. I have also had the thoughts of 'it's just not fair, why do I have to be an alcoholic'. The craving does pass and as soon as I am home I keep busy to divert my attention, whilst congratulating myself of not drinking. Thanks for your post.

I have heard from many that the urge never goes away forever but that it gets less over time. It makes me feel down when it happens too but it passes. You're doing great, hang in there. I want to quit ciggies too & I tried but just wasn't ready yet. One thing at a time.