Not forgetting the bad but letting it go
 

Feeling good about hitting day 7 and really feel I have the support and willingness to finally never take that first drink again.

But... Of course I'm on the emotional roller coaster. Part of my brain is supportive and strong, but the other part just keeps letting all the bad things I did over many years haunt me and make me want to drink them away.

I'm thinking of when I have time to myself of making a list of all the bad things & decisions I made over years that hurt me, family and friends. I know it will be pages but it will get them out of my brain to address & accept that it happened and there is nothing I can do it about it now.
Then light it on fire (safely of course). I won't forget the things but it will be a symbolic way for me to let it go and move on with my new chapter of life.

Thoughts?

For your sake take it minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Otherwise you will be consumed with what ifs

I think most of us are consumed with regrets.

The first thing we need to do is accept we can't change a thing...whatever happened happened.

The good news is tho - we can change ourselves. :)

You will be surprised Jean how even a short time of living right, doing good and staying sober helps sort out our perspective.

I become conscious of change..I began to feel a distance between who I was becoming and who I used to be.

While I can never forget or dismiss the things I've done, they ceased to be as important to me as what I'm doing right now :)

the time will come for amends - don't rush it :)

D

Gotta say I'm not a fan of you making that list. That was the drinking/using you. You are a different person now. You have 7 days of sobriety. In early sobriety you need to take care of you; not set yourself up to relapse. Making a list like that would make me relapse. For me personally, I'm in counseling. Spend your precious energy on doing things that support your sobriety. Rest, exercise, eat healthy, get outside, do things for other people, spend time with people who make you happy, read recovery literature, spend time on SR....take care of you and be gentle with yourself.