Blogs


Notices

A realisation

Old 04-24-2013, 01:29 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Jeni26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 7,963
A realisation

Tonight I had one of those moments I just wanted to share...and this will probably seem really silly to you!

I started a new job after Christmas, long hours and really demanding. Every day I've been pushed way out of my comfort zone. Quite honestly, I've felt so out of my depth at times that I've felt like a child pretending to be a grown up. Nothing new there then! And yes, I'm not going to pretend there haven't been strong urges to drink once or twice, but thanks to my support network, somehow I pushed through them. Or was dragged through them by others, I'm not sure which....

Anyway this week Spring has finally seemed to hit the corner of England where I live. No more scraping ice or sweeping away the snow from the car before I head off for my 80 mile round trip into work. Months of grey skies and freezing conditions at last seem to be behind us. As I've been driving home this week, I've had my window open and music playing, really happy and excited to get home to see how my garden is springing into life. My magnolia tree is in full bloom, the flowering cherry has blossom just about burst into life, the daffodils and tulips are breathtakingly beautiful.

Suddenly tonight it really hit me....the last time Spring was here I was driving home excited at buying alcohol and getting drunk....that was the only thing on my mind. It totally dominated my thoughts. I would sit in my garden depressed, anxious and ashamed.

I couldn't see the beauty in the world. Not for a minute would it have crossed my mind that there was a different way to live. I was unhappy but trapped in my alcoholic thinking. Tonight I realised how much I have changed, how much happier I am.

For all those starting out or struggling, it honestly does get better...stick with it. I thought it was impossible to be happy, really happy, with the simple things in life. I was wrong x
Jeni26 is offline  
The Following 37 Users Say Thank You to Jeni26 For This Useful Post:
Applecrumble (04-25-2013), awuh1 (04-25-2013), bloss (04-24-2013), BuddinK (04-24-2013), bunny44 (04-24-2013), Caledonia1 (04-24-2013), Cascabel (04-24-2013), Change4good (04-24-2013), ClearLight (04-25-2013), Dee74 (04-24-2013), dublingal (04-24-2013), faceitandfixit (04-24-2013), FreeFall (04-25-2013), fulminouscherub (04-24-2013), Happyfeet (04-24-2013), jscorpio (04-24-2013), laurie6781 (04-24-2013), Malachi (04-24-2013), mecanix (04-24-2013), Mizzuno (04-24-2013), neferkamichael (04-24-2013), noanxtime (04-24-2013), Ptcapote (04-25-2013), RobbyRobot (04-25-2013), Sasha4 (04-24-2013), seanie1888 (04-25-2013), shauninspain (04-24-2013), Snowie71 (04-25-2013), SnwFlower (04-25-2013), Spinach (04-25-2013), tanja (04-24-2013), Threshold (04-25-2013), tomsteve (04-24-2013), trikyriky (04-25-2013), upandup (04-24-2013), wanttobepure (04-24-2013), Weasel1966 (04-24-2013)
Old 04-24-2013, 01:34 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
rainyengland's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 742
Great post ! :-)

Apart from the obvious sober time the change in the weather has really put a 'spring' in my step as well
rainyengland is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to rainyengland For This Useful Post:
Applecrumble (04-25-2013), Jeni26 (04-25-2013), mecanix (04-24-2013), neferkamichael (04-24-2013), wanttobepure (04-24-2013)
Old 04-24-2013, 01:37 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
A simple guy making his way
 
Weasel1966's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,862
Blog Entries: 39
Thank you for that. Really. Good for you!
Weasel1966 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Weasel1966 For This Useful Post:
Applecrumble (04-25-2013), bloss (04-24-2013), Jeni26 (04-25-2013), mecanix (04-24-2013), neferkamichael (04-24-2013)
Old 04-24-2013, 01:44 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Life Health Prosperity
 
neferkamichael's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,537
Jeni, beautiful, you are FANTASTIC.
neferkamichael is online now  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to neferkamichael For This Useful Post:
Applecrumble (04-25-2013), bloss (04-24-2013), Jeni26 (04-25-2013), Sasha4 (04-24-2013), Weasel1966 (04-24-2013)
Old 04-24-2013, 01:46 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
shauninspain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Southern Spain
Posts: 353
Really amazing story. Thank you very much.
shauninspain is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to shauninspain For This Useful Post:
Applecrumble (04-25-2013), bloss (04-24-2013), Jeni26 (04-25-2013), neferkamichael (04-24-2013)
Old 04-24-2013, 02:16 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
bloss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
Blog Entries: 190
Jeni: Very happy for you, take care
Bloss
bloss is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to bloss For This Useful Post:
Applecrumble (04-25-2013), Jeni26 (04-25-2013), neferkamichael (04-24-2013), Weasel1966 (04-24-2013)
Old 04-24-2013, 02:18 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
hypochondriac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,663
That's pretty cool Jeni I have noticed something similar. Regarding happiness really. I was only happy in my drinking years when I was drinking, and that wasn't really anything to do with happiness, it was just satisfying a need, but since getting sober, even when things were really rough and I was moaning all the time, I still had these moments of happiness, usually just something really small but it was taking pleasure in something other than drinking. Before I could not enjoy anything without a drink in my hand or the reward of one on the horizon. Even stressful things became enjoyable. It's a nice realisation to come to when before I couldn't imagine how I could enjoy life sober. I'm getting there Thanks for the inspiration and your continuing support xxx
hypochondriac is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to hypochondriac For This Useful Post:
Applecrumble (04-25-2013), Jeni26 (04-25-2013), neferkamichael (04-24-2013), Sasha4 (04-24-2013)
Old 04-24-2013, 02:19 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
you rock my friend!!
tomsteve is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to tomsteve For This Useful Post:
Applecrumble (04-25-2013), Jeni26 (04-25-2013), neferkamichael (04-24-2013), Sasha4 (04-24-2013)
Old 04-24-2013, 02:41 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Tammy47's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Eire
Posts: 211
Well done Jeni. Thanks so much for posting. This gives me inspiration in my weak moments (just 2 months now) and already I have a small taste of the happiness you speak of. I can't believe how content I am, and how I want to engage with the outside world and enjoy it! Odd, the good weather coming in is a trigger for me. Driving home with spring sun shinning, I think more about having a chilled wine, than the dull winter days. Its gonna be a tough fight the coming bright weather months, but I will succeed! (I say bright weather months, because it seems we don't get warm summers in Ireland anymore) . Continued success and thanks again for the inspiration.
Tammy47 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Tammy47 For This Useful Post:
Jeni26 (04-25-2013), neferkamichael (04-24-2013)
Old 04-24-2013, 02:46 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Sazzle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Thanks for putting a spring in my step as well with your story. I feel the same, giddy happy, and loving seeing spring with new eyes.

S x
Sazzle is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Sazzle For This Useful Post:
Jeni26 (04-25-2013), neferkamichael (04-24-2013)
Old 04-24-2013, 02:52 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 189,210
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks for that post Jeni - great stuff ...glad you're doing ok too



D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Jeni26 (04-25-2013), neferkamichael (04-24-2013), Sasha4 (04-24-2013)
Old 04-24-2013, 05:10 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Caledonia1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,068
So happy you got that warm glowy feeling. Thank you for a lovely post and I'm sure it'll be great comfort to anyone struggling out there, how thoughtful

Catch you in the Marchies

x
Caledonia1 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Caledonia1 For This Useful Post:
Jeni26 (04-25-2013), neferkamichael (04-24-2013)
Old 04-24-2013, 05:32 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 104
It's the simple things, isn't it? Congratulations on your sobriety, Jeni!
Chuck48 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Chuck48 For This Useful Post:
Jeni26 (04-25-2013), neferkamichael (04-24-2013)
Old 04-24-2013, 05:36 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
noanxtime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Central Valley
Posts: 131
So Sweet! So to the point! Thank you!
noanxtime is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to noanxtime For This Useful Post:
Jeni26 (04-25-2013), neferkamichael (04-24-2013)
Old 04-24-2013, 05:41 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 118
Great story and congratulations. Any chance you could send some of that nice spring weather you talk about to your neighbours in Ireland??? Rain, rain and more rain here!!!!!
Darkplace2013 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Darkplace2013 For This Useful Post:
Jeni26 (04-25-2013), neferkamichael (04-24-2013), Tammy47 (04-25-2013)
Old 04-25-2013, 10:47 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Jeni26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 7,963
Originally Posted by Darkplace2013 View Post
Great story and congratulations. Any chance you could send some of that nice spring weather you talk about to your neighbours in Ireland??? Rain, rain and more rain here!!!!!
No chance!!!

Xxx
Jeni26 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Jeni26 For This Useful Post:
neferkamichael (04-25-2013)
Old 04-25-2013, 01:17 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
ClearLight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SoCal, California
Posts: 983
Blog Entries: 19
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Something else I realized - I do MUCH better at work than when I was drinking. I bet your sober life has helped you a lot in the new job.

Thanks for the post.


yeah, yeah, yeah
ClearLight is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ClearLight For This Useful Post:
Jeni26 (04-25-2013), neferkamichael (04-25-2013)
Old 04-25-2013, 04:57 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Spinach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wales UK
Posts: 859
Jen, have a great Summer.
John.
Spinach is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Spinach For This Useful Post:
neferkamichael (04-25-2013)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:28 AM.