A realisation
 

Tonight I had one of those moments I just wanted to share...and this will probably seem really silly to you!

I started a new job after Christmas, long hours and really demanding. Every day I've been pushed way out of my comfort zone. Quite honestly, I've felt so out of my depth at times that I've felt like a child pretending to be a grown up. Nothing new there then! And yes, I'm not going to pretend there haven't been strong urges to drink once or twice, but thanks to my support network, somehow I pushed through them. Or was dragged through them by others, I'm not sure which....

Anyway this week Spring has finally seemed to hit the corner of England where I live. No more scraping ice or sweeping away the snow from the car before I head off for my 80 mile round trip into work. Months of grey skies and freezing conditions at last seem to be behind us. As I've been driving home this week, I've had my window open and music playing, really happy and excited to get home to see how my garden is springing into life. My magnolia tree is in full bloom, the flowering cherry has blossom just about burst into life, the daffodils and tulips are breathtakingly beautiful.

Suddenly tonight it really hit me....the last time Spring was here I was driving home excited at buying alcohol and getting drunk....that was the only thing on my mind. It totally dominated my thoughts. I would sit in my garden depressed, anxious and ashamed.

I couldn't see the beauty in the world. Not for a minute would it have crossed my mind that there was a different way to live. I was unhappy but trapped in my alcoholic thinking. Tonight I realised how much I have changed, how much happier I am.

For all those starting out or struggling, it honestly does get better...stick with it. I thought it was impossible to be happy, really happy, with the simple things in life. I was wrong x

Great post ! :-)

Apart from the obvious sober time the change in the weather has really put a 'spring' in my step as well

Thank you for that. Really. Good for you!

Jeni, beautiful, you are FANTASTIC. :egypt:

Really amazing story. Thank you very much.

Jeni: Very happy for you, take care
Bloss

That's pretty cool Jeni :) I have noticed something similar. Regarding happiness really. I was only happy in my drinking years when I was drinking, and that wasn't really anything to do with happiness, it was just satisfying a need, but since getting sober, even when things were really rough and I was moaning all the time, I still had these moments of happiness, usually just something really small but it was taking pleasure in something other than drinking. Before I could not enjoy anything without a drink in my hand or the reward of one on the horizon. Even stressful things became enjoyable. It's a nice realisation to come to when before I couldn't imagine how I could enjoy life sober. I'm getting there :) Thanks for the inspiration and your continuing support xxx

you rock my friend!!

Well done Jeni. Thanks so much for posting. This gives me inspiration in my weak moments (just 2 months now) and already I have a small taste of the happiness you speak of. I can't believe how content I am, and how I want to engage with the outside world and enjoy it! Odd, the good weather coming in is a trigger for me. Driving home with spring sun shinning, I think more about having a chilled wine, than the dull winter days. Its gonna be a tough fight the coming bright weather months, but I will succeed! (I say bright weather months, because it seems we don't get warm summers in Ireland anymore) . Continued success and thanks again for the inspiration.

Thanks for putting a spring in my step as well with your story. I feel the same, giddy happy, and loving seeing spring with new eyes.

S x

Thanks for that post Jeni - great stuff ...glad you're doing ok too :)

:You_Rock_

D

So happy you got that warm glowy feeling. Thank you for a lovely post and I'm sure it'll be great comfort to anyone struggling out there, how thoughtful

Catch you in the Marchies

x

It's the simple things, isn't it? Congratulations on your sobriety, Jeni!

So Sweet! So to the point! Thank you!

Great story and congratulations. Any chance you could send some of that nice spring weather you talk about to your neighbours in Ireland??? Rain, rain and more rain here!!!!!

No chance!!!:ham3

Xxx

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Something else I realized - I do MUCH better at work than when I was drinking. I bet your sober life has helped you a lot in the new job.

Thanks for the post.

:MusBand:
yeah, yeah, yeah

Jen, have a great Summer.
John.