Keep on trying, however hard.
 

Hello everyone! I'm an addict and well aware of it. My story, in a nutshell...I am 37 and started drinking in my early 20's. I also battled with xanax addiction in my teens, but conquered that with much struggle @ 24. I was able to drink socially for years, but by 33 I had to face that I had became a binge drinker. I could go days, even weeks without a drink but once I started, it was a least 12+. So... I quit drinking for 3+ years. I loved my sobriety!

Fast forward to last year when my husband and I separated and I was diagnosed with some serious back problems. I went back to my old friend, alcohol. For a while, it was manageable. My husband and I rejoined and he was also drinking heavily. We were making it work, but struggling with hangover days and the like. It grew (as it always does) and around August we threw cocaine into the mix. Once again, NEVER a daily user/drinker but a serious bender. It has currently snowballed (no pun intended) to where when I drink, it lasts for days. When I drink, I crave coke. When I am sober, I just don't want it all (for which I feel thankful for!) and I am letting my life's responsibilities slip by.

I know i have the strength to quit, but I worry about my husband and I find myself in a deep depression lately. I have not had a drink since Saturday and I am feeling pretty strong about not wanting one. I know however that I need support to get through it this time. Feeling pretty alone most of the time and feeling like a failure for having relapsed so badly. My hangovers now are devastating and they last for days.

I've been lurking here for a while and I see so much positivity and support here... I really hope I can find that sense of community and non-judgement that I so crave to pull out of this funk. :)

Much loves...

Well... I guess this is maybe not the place to connect with others. I waited all day for a welcome, or a reply. If I said the wrong things to introduce myself, I apologise.

Hi Calidante :)

This is the first time I've seen your post :)

this is a big place...sometimes it happens. through noones fault, that a post can slip through the cracks...

It doesn't happen often. Try not to take it personally :)

I'm glad you found us and I hope you'll stick around. This place saved my life :)
D

Hi - welcome to SR :-)

Your making a great decision to quit and doing amazing already! - its great here and you will find loads of support

Why not get your husband on board as well?,.its tough enough as it is and strength in numbers will really help!

I would be little concerned if everything your addicted to is still around you,you need to shake him up as well- you sound really strong so give him a nudge!

First few days withdrawal are always dreadfull - gets better I promise! :-)

Well done on not drinking since Saturday. You know how much you loved being sober for those 3 years. You can get it all back, despite what your head may be telling you at the moment. Were you in AA whilst sober? Or would you consider going to meetings now, to help you regain long term sobriety? You could definitely do a lot worse. AA certainly helped me.

It's a godsend that you don't crave cocaine when you are not drinking, so alcohol is your primary concern. Post as much as you can on here, and consider getting help in your local area. It can be very tough at the beginning, but as you know, it WILL get better just by putting in some actions.

Sorry to have not replied sooner, but only just saw your post. Better late than never! Have a sober day today and tell yourself often that you can do this.

Hi, welcome to SR ��

Welcome aboard.. this is a great place for support.. People usually respond very quickly so don't get frustrated.