Day One..Again
 

I just joined in hopes of finding some additional support as I hit a breaking point yesterday and am fighting with everything I have to get on the path of being clean and sober. I've been clean and sober before, but never for long, and have only had experience cleaning up from alcohol and cocaine.

Last summer, I got hooked on meth and I've rapidly gone downhill. I want my life back and more importantly, my soul and my sense of self and dignity. I had no plans to stop doing this drug until yesterday. I'm not even sure I can describe what happened to me, but it was one of the lowest, most demoralizing feelings I've ever had, and I just desperately wanted to feel human again. It was this tiny voice in the back of my mind that whispered to me that my life is worth saving.

I'm frightened at the road ahead. I don't know what it's going to be like. I know I can't do it alone which is why I'm reaching out for help in different areas. All I know is that I woke up this morning and I felt peaceful for a fleeting moment and I haven't felt that in a long time. I have fought many difficult battles in my life and have overcome many challenges and I know myself to be resilient. I don't want this addiction to consume me anymore and I don't want to die. I don't want to keep hurting people. I'm ready, one day at a time, to face this addiction and fight the fight.

I just wanted to post to tell a little about myself and that I'm new to this place and new (again) to recovery:newbe:

Lotus,

Welcome to SR, there is tons of information and support here. Take the time to read posts, ask questions and grab any information you can to fight your problems.

You are making the right decision to cean up your life.

Good luck and Stay Strong

Ken

Welcome I can sooooooo relate. You sad it, "One day at a time." Has been worng for me for almost 9 years.

Welcome to what can be a good life if you/we let it happen happen. I hated the words that we had to surrender to win, now that seems as a great starting point. I had to let go of so much I thought but realized those things were the reasons I was drinking: fear and control were biggies. For me the process of being sober is learning about how I function. I have a dis-ease. BE WELL