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Old 04-25-2013, 07:34 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
All is Change
 
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If one wants to be sober, the easiest way is to not drink. It can be difficult to deal with not drinking. It means dealing with self and the awareness of self. Because this is difficult the simple things are best to focus on, such as easy does it, one day at a time, keep it simple stupid et,c, ,
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Old 04-25-2013, 07:39 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Faith and reason
 
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Originally Posted by arthur View Post
I'm greatful I'm 3 days sober today. I'm taking one hour at a time. I can't think past that and that's what works for me. My family is showing me lots of tough love really no support but I have to accept that was my doing. My mom won't show me any sympathy and doesn't want to help me. Not that I need her sympathy but it would be nice to have her support. My wife won't help me either. So it's up to me to get well. I want sobriety so badly. It's going to be a tough road ahead but I'm going to give it my best shot. Thanks to all of you for being here and listening. It's nice to know I'm not alone and have all of you out there.
Arthur, very well done on 2 days. My mum was so angry with me the last time I had a slip. She shouted at me for 1/2 an hour straight. I honestly thought that I'd really blown it this time, that she'd never forgive me.

I'm now 27 days back. Yesterday I saw her, showed her my 24 hour chip from AA and told her that, God willing, I'd be picking up my 1 month chip soon. She was so happy for me and gave me a big hug and kiss. I'm not getting sober for her but it made me feel good.

I will pray that your family forgives you, but they will anyway if you keep away from that first drink this time and stick to your excellent plan. Give it time. They'll forgive you because they love you. It's clear that they love you otherwise your drinking wouldn't affect them in this way.

Like my mum said to me almost a month ago, "If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't get so angry about your drinking. I'd say '**** her; let her do what she wants.'" Trust me; the fact that your family is still so affected by what you do is a good sign.
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Old 04-25-2013, 09:42 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Hi Arthur! I'm very new here and still trying to figure out how to use the site so bear with me. You are the first person that I've responded to that wasn't linked to my post. I really feel I can relate to you because you are where my husband is right now. I sought out this site for help dealing with my husband's recent relapse (he's a drug addict). I'm pretty sure he could relate to you very well right now. Congrats on your recent sobriety! I'm sure doing it alone is not easy at all which makes this even more of an accomplishment! I wish my hubby had your motivation. He has soo much support but still doesn't seem to be willing to make the effort to get help. He has a sponsor ofsorts and thinks that is enough. Can you tell me anything that you have found to be helpful for you during this time? He is really against counseling or any professional help which is discouraging to me. He doesn't think that they understand or care if they aren't an addict themselves. Congrats to you! Stay positive and focussed and know that you can do this! Any advice you have for me is much appreciated!
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Old 04-25-2013, 02:00 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Hi. I so feel for you and your husband. I know very clear what he is going through and you as well. It's not easy admitting we have a problem. I've been on and off the wagon for twenty years. I have no choice but to stop drinking. I know that I will lose everything I have if I continue down this path. That's why I decided to seek help. I go to a therapist and believe me it helps. It's someone I can talk to. Someone other than my family who right now don't want anything to do with me. AA meetings or NA meetings are a must. You can't do it alone and not work the steps. If you don't work the steps you're in danger of picking up. I know I've been there many times. A sponsor would be great but I think once going to meetings finding one would be easy. I tried for years winging it alone and it didn't help. It's good you're there for him and keep on supporting him. Hope this helps.
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