isinganyway

Well, just read this whole thread and am thoroughly stressed out. MLC, you could very well die or kill your children before you get sober. I hope you understand that. Please get someone else to stay with you 24/7 until you are in detox.

UpForIt

MLC - I don't post much on here but I've had my experience barely being able to get out of bed. Showers at the time seemed insurmountable. I've also dealt with eds. Please do one thing at a time. Just because your history of eds happened last time you stopped doesn't mean it's your future. Don't let that stand in the way. Focus on this coming week.

To everyone posting: please remember that when we were in it we said our truth from where we were. I realized much later that there were many people around me taking care of things that I wasn't noticing. Maybe making excuses for me and definitely picking up my slack. We are getting one perspective.

wpainterw

I have just spent a lot of time reading all these posts. So much talk. Reminds me of what they used to say in rehab. "Dat fellah can sure talk de talk! But can he walk de walk?" I have learned from bitter experience that the beast who lurks down in the midbrain loves to talk. Loves to say, "I drank (drink) because....." Or "I just bought a wonderful book and am reading all about it!" or "I'm doing something about it. I'm going to a counselor!" I went to a "counselor" (actually 10 or 15) for 30 years and sure did talk de talk!

W.

bemyself

W, I do respect your occasional posts, given you're a person of quite some experience ('strength n hope' too?).

Not quite sure of your point on this one though. Unclear as to whether you're referring to MLC's narrative, the replies of 'oh, I'm praying for you' and such like, the replies of 'hey love, what about this / what about that?' And everything in between.

I've taken the time over MLC's threads to post stuff from my own long and bitter experience in life, in Australia, as a (now defunct :-)) mum, as a drunk - recovering (I thought) and relapsed. And as someone who knows a little about the many entangled threads of lives, past and present, which also encompass addiction.

Some of us here - much to MLC's chagrin, to be sure - are maybe just expressing some of own frustrations (about our own struggles as well as hers); some are flailing about with great and good, warm intentions also to throw some tiny slivers of hope to MLC.

I'm just not sure whether your particular black n white thing about 'talking the talk, walking the walk' is relevant right now. Given MLC is battling - against what I believe to be numerous odds - to stay remotely 'above water' in these next few days before detox.

I've sometimes noticed in various places that those who've a long period of sobriety / clean have not so much 'forgotten' how they felt - really felt - whilst using, but perhaps are in such a different place now (bless you, and I'm envious) that it's yes, a kind of impotence when we see another flailing, still.

I don't know. Perhaps I've got the wrong end of the stick entirely.

Dee74

I asked before for constructive criticism - since then, there have been several posts that I dont find constructive at all, so I think we'll call it quits here.

I hope MLC will start another thread sometime soon.

D