Bingeing before detox
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
I kind of understand the insanity
Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis 
Stupid I know. Bit I feel like I want to have my lasylortl bit or run before the hard stiff begins abajn
Anyon lee
Don that!!?
Anyon lee
Don that!!?
I drank all the booze and took all the pills in the house
one night just before entering detox the next morning
almost killed me
not the thing to do
but
I kind of understand the insanity that goes on in a drunks mind
onehigherpower
one night just before entering detox the next morning
almost killed me
not the thing to do
but
I kind of understand the insanity that goes on in a drunks mind
onehigherpower
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England USA
Posts: 198
Originally Posted by Dee74
Sorry - I think 17 Valium, several codeines and a bottle of wine is a heck of a lot for a random Wednesday night.
as long as you downplaying what you're doing, it makes it easier to do it again MLC.
D
as long as you downplaying what you're doing, it makes it easier to do it again MLC.
D
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
And what about tonight? You still have a week until Detox. For the love of god, and for all the support your family and those around here have given you these past months please try and act responsibly MLC. I truly hope you make it until Detox...and I mean that literally.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
how about you try just once to have a little positive attitude here instead of always setting yourself up? you gotta be just about out of excuses to use and abuse more drugs. this is supposed to be the start of you getting your LIFE back.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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What do you mean setting myself up? Ok, I'll come back when I can tell you how beautiful the birds are singing in the trees outside my bedroom and how blue the sky is. I shouldn't have posted. You're right. I'm scared and nervous about what's to come. I'm terrified, I naturally just run to this forum and post rubbish. My husband is over my crap. I come here because most people have done the stupid things I have.
This is the only place I can just let it all out. Outside of here I am the mum who helps at school. The friendly lady that runs the pool. The one who helps at church and attends regularly.
Now I'm doing lines in the toilets at church, turning up to my pastors house wasted, getting high and drunk while our new youth pastors are over for dinner.
Idiot I am.
My kids are fine for anyone concerned and they will be even better once I am better.
This is the only place I can just let it all out. Outside of here I am the mum who helps at school. The friendly lady that runs the pool. The one who helps at church and attends regularly.
Now I'm doing lines in the toilets at church, turning up to my pastors house wasted, getting high and drunk while our new youth pastors are over for dinner.
Idiot I am.
My kids are fine for anyone concerned and they will be even better once I am better.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
MLC..
You have no reponsibilty to justify anything to us. We are all here for the same reason you are, which is to get better. Understand that when you open up here, there will be those who are sympathetic, and others who may not understand or have a different view of things from time to time. And I am willing to bet once you get through rehab and come back to read some of the things you have written, you won't believe you said them. Bottom line, we want you to get better, but we also want you to be safe - which you are not doing by taking 17 valiums, codeine and an entire bottle of wine at one sitting. Please talk with your husband or anyone else close by to help you make it to next Wednesday. And keep posting here so we know you are OK
You have no reponsibilty to justify anything to us. We are all here for the same reason you are, which is to get better. Understand that when you open up here, there will be those who are sympathetic, and others who may not understand or have a different view of things from time to time. And I am willing to bet once you get through rehab and come back to read some of the things you have written, you won't believe you said them. Bottom line, we want you to get better, but we also want you to be safe - which you are not doing by taking 17 valiums, codeine and an entire bottle of wine at one sitting. Please talk with your husband or anyone else close by to help you make it to next Wednesday. And keep posting here so we know you are OK
)
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
instead of seeing getting clean and staying clean as a bad, terrible, scary LOSS, maybe you could view RECOVERY with the gratitude one would if they were getting a kidney. a life saving TRANSPLANT. you can be transplanted from this dark space you are in now to a really bright place where birds to sing..IF you are willing to put down the drugs. for good. and learn how to deal with life on life's terms. and still be the nice pool lady.
you have the CHOICE to set yourself up for SUCCESS at this.....or failure. same decision every addict has to make. people DO survive getting clean!
you have the CHOICE to set yourself up for SUCCESS at this.....or failure. same decision every addict has to make. people DO survive getting clean!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Originally Posted by Anna
I'm sorry but I don't believe that your kids are fine. I really don't.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
instead of seeing getting clean and staying clean as a bad, terrible, scary LOSS, maybe you could view RECOVERY with the gratitude one would if they were getting a kidney. a life saving TRANSPLANT. you can be transplanted from this dark space you are in now to a really bright place where birds to sing..IF you are willing to put down the drugs. for good. and learn how to deal with life on life's terms. and still be the nice pool lady.
you have the CHOICE to set yourself up for SUCCESS at this.....or failure. same decision every addict has to make. people DO survive getting clean!
you have the CHOICE to set yourself up for SUCCESS at this.....or failure. same decision every addict has to make. people DO survive getting clean!
I've booked myself in for the 1st of may. I chose that date because I was gojng to a concert on the 8th may and I was gojng to use heroin just one last time.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Prairie Village, KS
Posts: 264
I'm sorry. I'm just astounded by all of this. I wish I could be sympathetic but I just can't. I feel like you are just making one big joke out of all of this and the people who care about you. Delaying your detox so you can do heroin???? Are you on a suicide mission? I pray for your children. Good luck.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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Originally Posted by Sally3127
I'm sorry. I'm just astounded by all of this. I wish I could be sympathetic but I just can't. I feel like you are just making one big joke out of all of this and the people who care about you. Delaying your detox so you can do heroin???? Are you on a suicide mission? I pray for your children. Good luck.
I am intentionally gojng to detox on the date I am so I miss the concert and won't be tempted to use smack.
I'm still a person. I'm the soccer mum, the ballet mum, the tap and jazz mum, the pool operator, the mum who does reading groups at school every single week, the person that goes to the gym most days, the one who helps her kids with homework and reads to them and kisses them goodnight. I just happen to have a substance abuse problem at the moment which is getting worse so I am doing somehtjjbg about it.
I'm more scared of facing the bulimia that has ruled my life forever. I got clean when I was 21, had a baby stayed clean for all that time but the ed remained. I relapsed just year (I'm 35) because I couldn't take it anymore plus a whole heap of other things.
I'm trying. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I'm trying and I am scared to death.
And yes, when I was sober for 6 weeks after New Years I did have a death wish, I was suicidal and did not know how I could live. It's only my beloved family that keeps me here.
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