JudyBruns
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 4
JudyBruns
New to site ..Im stuggling again in my mind with my alchol .I met a guy is really sweet.But Ive been noticing in his voice on the phone that his Alchol problem ,is not in my taste.Been dating 3 months and it seems he is getting worse.. any advice on what I should say or do with him ??
Last edited by JudyBruns; 04-23-2013 at 11:49 AM. Reason: wrong spelling
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR.
I believe the first few months of dating is a time to identify areas of compatibility and incompatibility, to determine if one shares interests, values, goals. If one finds a compatible partner, you can, if the feelings are shared, continue the relationship. If you identify that you aren't a match, you stop investing time into the relationship.
No where does it say that after three months you have to sign up to take on a person alcoholism or his recovery from it. That's beyond the scope of early dating.
If you are seeing this now, it will only get worse. Move on while it's early and strike this off as a match that didn't work out.
I believe the first few months of dating is a time to identify areas of compatibility and incompatibility, to determine if one shares interests, values, goals. If one finds a compatible partner, you can, if the feelings are shared, continue the relationship. If you identify that you aren't a match, you stop investing time into the relationship.
No where does it say that after three months you have to sign up to take on a person alcoholism or his recovery from it. That's beyond the scope of early dating.
If you are seeing this now, it will only get worse. Move on while it's early and strike this off as a match that didn't work out.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 129
Sorry Judy, I have to agree with Carl on this one.
People are hard to change. My wife tried to change me and I couldn't do it until I was ready. I'm still struggling with my alcoholism 8 years later. If this isn't a journey you want to take, it's time to cut your losses.
People are hard to change. My wife tried to change me and I couldn't do it until I was ready. I'm still struggling with my alcoholism 8 years later. If this isn't a journey you want to take, it's time to cut your losses.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
Welcome to SR.
I believe the first few months of dating is a time to identify areas of compatibility and incompatibility, to determine if one shares interests, values, goals. If one finds a compatible partner, you can, if the feelings are shared, continue the relationship. If you identify that you aren't a match, you stop investing time into the relationship.
No where does it say that after three months you have to sign up to take on a person alcoholism or his recovery from it. That's beyond the scope of early dating.
If you are seeing this now, it will only get worse. Move on while it's early and strike this off as a match that didn't work out.
I believe the first few months of dating is a time to identify areas of compatibility and incompatibility, to determine if one shares interests, values, goals. If one finds a compatible partner, you can, if the feelings are shared, continue the relationship. If you identify that you aren't a match, you stop investing time into the relationship.
No where does it say that after three months you have to sign up to take on a person alcoholism or his recovery from it. That's beyond the scope of early dating.
If you are seeing this now, it will only get worse. Move on while it's early and strike this off as a match that didn't work out.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by terribob
Sorry Judy, I have to agree with Carl on this one.
People are hard to change. My wife tried to change me and I couldn't do it until I was ready. I'm still struggling with my alcoholism 8 years later. If this isn't a journey you want to take, it's time to cut your losses.
People are hard to change. My wife tried to change me and I couldn't do it until I was ready. I'm still struggling with my alcoholism 8 years later. If this isn't a journey you want to take, it's time to cut your losses.
.
Look out for number one. Three months is not a long time and you do not have enough vested in that "relationship" to jeopardize your own sobriety.
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