Why is it so hard??
 

I was just out of town at a place where people were drinking a lot!! Some seemed ok and others did not. They say the average person is a normal drinker.. What is normal? 5 percent only drink like alcoholics?

I don't know maybe because I wasn't drinking my beer goggles weren't foggy..I'm not here to judge but ???

I try to stay away from places where people are drinking a lot.

Just focus on your recovery and you'll be fine.

I think that the number of people who have substance abuse issues is much higher than statistics show. Think about it, for every person that admits that he or she has a problem there is a huge hand full of others who have a problem but are putting on a smile and claiming they are fine.

Don't try to wrack your brain trying to figure out what "normal" drinking is. It is just not worth trying to figure out who is a normal drinker and who is not.

It is prob. better to avoid places where there is extremely heavy drinking going on. There is no reason to put yourself in a situation where there is temptation, plus being in a place full of drunk people sober is not exactly what many people would call a good time.

Thank you Anna and Maylie.. I know it is my own deal , and I might just over think everyone and what they are doing, try not to. But gotta admit my feelings just get going on the why?? What makes it different for me and them.. Or do they not think about it?

Anna just a question? You have been in recovery for years and you still try and stay away from people that drink a lot? It's just best..yes? I'm pretty new but I feel sometimes its so annoying and I get a bit angry because I start thinking they are not probably acting right but also unhealthy ? I need to let that go?

I don't believe the statistics. In the UK a lot of people drank like me and didn't seem to think it was a problem whereas I was wracked with guilt. I had more mental and health problems it seems, I know people who drank like me til their 50's and are largely fine. And others seem to have lots of social problems drinking. I never did and for years it made me a bit self righteous about it and reluctant to stop drinking. The thing is it is all entirely irrelevant to you. Took me a long time to get this and let it go but it does me no favours whatsoever to compare myself to other drinkers. So what if other people are drinking excessively? I admit to having an 'it's not fair' response to that for quite a while but really that was because I wasn't happy that I wasn't drinking. I made a concerted effort to just think about my own issues with alcohol and what was best for me, and it became obvious that giving up drinking has been the best thing I have ever done. And the biggy for me, I actually don't care what other people think about that and they are free to do whatever they want with their own drinking problems. If anyone ever admitted they needed help then that would be another story and I would bend over backwards to help them but in the mean time it's none of my business, just like my not drinking is no one else's business. Sorry, that turned out quite long winded, but I know how you feel Sophie because I was there myself. It took time and acceptance to feel better about it x

In drinking places the percentage of drinkers will be higher than in the general population.

leave them to it, we all had to make our own decisions. I would not have listened to any advice, particularly when i was drunk

I hear you!! We have to stop comparing ourselves to others. For whatever reason (I'm neither a doctor nor a scientist), I can't "just have one." I wish I could be a responsible drinker, but sadly I realize that 99% of the time I just can not. I envy those who can drink socially. I've accepted that I'm just not like they are. Just focus on yourself and how good you feel when you are not drinking. That's what helps me most. Good luck!!! :)

I spent years wondering and worrying why - it got me nowhere.

I really think acceptance is the key.

I've been drunk and I've been sober - I know sober is the best way for me, by a country mile.

I want to be sober.

It took me a while to get to that place of surety - but it's a peaceful and contented place, and I believe anyone else you wants to can get there too.

Until we each hit that place, I think it's about having faith - faith that this way is right that recovery is the best way forward for you, regardless of what others are doing.

D

I don't know why for some it is different than for say me. Or when it became different for me. I spent a short amount of time trying to figure it out so I could be different too but realized it really doesn't matter because I'm not different.

Hi. Some years ago I got off that wondering why and if only thinking process. Today my thinking is that I'm allergic to alcohol, it's that simple. When I might start romanticizing drinking that's a very slippery slope and we must examine what's happening and remember that "I cannot drink in safety." BE WELL