You are not alone. I told my neighbor that I used to be married to an NBA player who gave me a 6 carat black diamond engagement ring and he took everything when we divorced. That's why I live in an apartment beside her....go figure :scared:

I've never been married :headbange

There has to be something mental that switches when we drink. Kinda like people that are 'mean' drunks or 'happy' drunks.

I do the same thing. Just woke up this afternoon after a night of drinking with some friends, and luckily I didn't tell them any lies. I still had some reason at that point. Then there was this handsome guy at the bar, and I took him to my place, and we kissed and talked a lot, and at some point he started crying cause he never had a one-night stand (he is 19, i am 24), and he started telling me about how his dad died as a child and that his dad would be ashamed of him having sex without knowing me, and that he miss having a dad. and STUPID as i am, i wanted to connect with him in this state, so i told him that my last boyfriend died in an accident, and i knew how hard it was. Sure, i did break a long term relationship cause of a depression i suffered, but he didn't DIE. We both cried, and it was beautiful and we were so nice and gentle to eachother. but sh*t i lied about DEATH. i have def reached a low point, i think about telling him i lied now. but he will think i am a terrible person, which i am not, but the lie def was beyond terrible. i do think it is selfish to tell him and ruin his trust in me (and maybe others too) just to relieve my guilt. i feel soo bad.
This is not the first time i lied. i lied about drug abuse, sugardating, musical skills, language skills, gymnastic skills etc.
Probably should stop drinking, when i am sober this never happen.

Man can I relate to this thread! The lying was hands down the worst side effec of my drinking. As many of the other posters have said also, I am an incredibly honest person with integrity when sober, yet once inebriated, I become a different person entirely. I've told pointless lies and damaging lies, big and small, across a whole spectrum. That sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when the lies I've told when under the influence flood back to me is what motivates me to push forward with my sober journey and to shun the AV.

No idea why I do this, I would never behave that way sober. I'm sure it is the interaction of alcohol at play with my deeper insecurities. That's the problem with alcohol - you abuse it because the AV promises it will help to soothe your pain and your damaging thoughts or inner worries, yet in reality it manipulates and exacerbates them.

Best of luck.

Welcome to SR Sofie :)

I think a lot of my lying came from a place of never feeluing good enough...but it ended up a drunken habit without rhyme or reason.

Like I said earlier in the thread, life is a lot less complicated now :)

D

Dealing with this right now
 

Yep, this is me too, down to a tee.

I'm currently laying in bed with a hangover absolutely sick to my stomach at some of the embarrassing lies and outrageous stories I told last night.

I guess I should take solace at the fact that none of them were long-term damaging, but the residue social anxiety and embarrassment is what is driving me to continue to cut back on my drinking.

After last night I can see the day that I walk away from drink entirely approaching rapidly.

Everybody does odd things whilst drunk, I was sitting at the golf club yesterday afternoon with two members who called me over whilst I was sipping my sparkling water with lime. They are nice guys and had been drinking a few hours. Several times in the hour I sat chatting to them I had to say wtf are you talking about! People talk BS when drunk it’s pretty much a given, it’s not a big deal!

If you are bothered next time you see your new friend say something like you know the other night when I was semi wasted and I told you I’d had boxing lessons since 12 what I should have said is that it would have been cool if I’d had boxing lessons since 12. I talk a load of tosh sometimes when I’m drunk and I like you so I just wanted you to clarify that!

It actually got so bad that...
 

Making lies up on the spot wasn't even good enough I would plot what I was going to lie about when I was drinking before I would go to the bar

I lied to protect my addiction.

Me too. I lied about amounts I drank, etc, but not about unrelated stuff, really. Like not random lies.

Welcome hatemeloveyou :)

D

When I drank, I behaved in a manner inconsistent with my personal values.
Only an addict like me could have been confused about how to make that problem go away.

Welcome to SR!
Best of Luck on Your Journey! :grouphug:

Whatever the reason. The why doesnt matter. It is what it is. If you stop drinking you wont do it again.

Instant idiot here. Just add alcohol.

I think every single person alcoholic or not does things when they drink that they wouldn't do if they were sober.

I did a little Psychology class when I was younger and the topic was self defeating behaviors.. Very interesting about how we use lying to gain approval from others..

Drinking only allows our self ego to present yourself in a fantasy way to others..

You may seek their approval and look at them as a better person than yourself.

The cost of being honest to yourself maybe your not that great of a friend and might harbor allot of negative vibes you might feel your projecting.

The true answer in over coming the need to lie to others is a huge day by day dose of self love.. Ignore the label CONCEITED if you show that you love yourself.

That's a social trap and dosn't matter if you do not need to care what others think of you or your trying to win over approval from those you admire..

It takes time to change bad habits, but the reward is loving yourself and excepting who you are, faults and all..

One comment I received a couple of years ago really knocked me off guard but it's one of the truest comments I've ever heard. I knew deep down I had issues around alcohol and something had shifted that it was becoming a crutch. I was completely in denial for a long time, because a lot of the time my life was completely normal, normal ish drinking at weekends most week nights not drinking at all, but then these random binge drinking sessions. To try and look like I was addressing the situation I went to AA, I was curious to see how things worked and in hindsight I probably knew a problem was brewing. I was chatting to this lady who came across as quite aloof and I remember bleating on about oh well you know I don't really have a problem 😅 I binge drink and most of the time I don't drink blah blah yawn yawn. She turned round to me and said have you ever done anything you regret whilst drinking. Shock horror the list would of been endless. I was flabbergasted and stuck for words but her comment spoke volumes to me. I still carried on and three years later finally saw the light.