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Struggling on Day 16

Old 04-22-2013, 05:56 PM
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Struggling on Day 16

The last 3 days i am really struggling. I feel anxious and depressed. Cranky and short tempered. I feel like i don't fit into my life anymore. Everyone else is going along normally and i am struggling to come to terms with being an outcast (as i don't drink) both with my friends and my family and its only day 16.
I am turning down invitations with friends to socialize and going to bed early so as not to watch my wife drink her glass of wine at night. Before i was the life of the party. The practical joker. The funny one in the family or group that made everyone laugh. Now i am just a cranky middle aged man and becoming increasingly reclusive.
I know that i must keep going with Sobriety. I know i need to be conscious of my health and i am aware of my improvement (in health) in the last two weeks.
I can cope with the addiction and cravings as i am a stubborn *******, full of will power. What i don't know is how to cope with the changes in my life, and in me, that quite frankly were part of my character. I need to find a way to shine whilst in the darkness of recovery! Any ideas would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for listening and have a great day!
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Old 04-22-2013, 07:14 PM
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pedro sorry to hear your struggling. 16 days is great, for some reason I struggled too at the 3 week mark. I felt cranky, moody and out of sorts. What helped me through it was knowing that its a normal part of the process. Give your brain and body some time to heal, you will feel better. The first month is hard but once you get through it, you will feel better. Stay strong you can get through this
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Old 04-22-2013, 08:41 PM
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Pedro, I feel the same way. Tomorrow will be one month without taking a drink after about 25 years of drinking. I have to say it has been the longest month I can remember. After about the second week I started feeling physically better, but mental I don't feel like myself. This month is my first month as a civilian after 20 years in the military. A few years prior to retirement I had gotten hurt and it left my personnel life in ruins. So my after work life went from a life of a physically active life to one of sitting on a bar stool at a dive bar just outside the base then going home and drinking till I passed out. Now I've made the decision to stop drinking and as more days go by without a drink the more I feel committed to stay alcohol free. The problem that I didn't foreseen is I don't feel like me and what to do with sober time. It's a bitch.
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Old 04-22-2013, 08:53 PM
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Hello Pedro. Congrats on your sober time. You are doing great. This mood will pass, I promise. You are still in the beginning stages of getting all of this sorted out. There will come that day when everything falls into place and you will start to feel like yourself again. I have experienced the same thing, many times Pedro. All I can say is that it is important to let yourself feel what you feel. You are processing and figuring out what and who you are without alcohol. Keep walking forward Pedro. This too shall pass.
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Old 04-22-2013, 09:33 PM
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Pedro, I carry around a copy of what to do free in our town. I didn't realize what great speakers and learning opportunities I had missed. I slowly made new friends to replace those who drank and used. It took time and wasn't a cure all but it helped. The more I found the new me the more I like her but it took time.
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Old 04-22-2013, 10:46 PM
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Thanks hope22, Committed, Mizzuno and shockozulu for your reply, support and advice. Its just such a big change after 30 years of drinking. I will keep moving forward (Sober) and hope i can regain my personality over time. Sooner rather than later or I will bore everyone including myself to tears lol.
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Old 04-23-2013, 05:51 AM
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cut yourself some slack Pedro

Noone has all the answers on day 16 - and noone expects you to solve all the current problems in your life right now, let alone all the future ones as well....well noone but you maybe?

One day at a time is a really good rule of thumb - try and stay in the day, man

D
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Old 04-23-2013, 04:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
cut yourself some slack Pedro

Noone has all the answers on day 16 - and noone expects you to solve all the current problems in your life right now, let alone all the future ones as well....well noone but you maybe?

One day at a time is a really good rule of thumb - try and stay in the day, man

D
So i guess I am being a little inpatient. Feels good to vent anyway and to receive some great support. I feel much better today anyway after a nice long run and workout at the Gym last night and a good nights sleep. Thanks Dee and everyone for the support. Have a great day
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Old 04-23-2013, 04:22 PM
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Treat yourself well, physically and emotionally. You're still in very early recovery and things don't all get better right away. It took time to do the damage and it will take time to undo it. But you'll get there.
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Old 04-23-2013, 09:06 PM
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Pedro,

Time to let someone else take a turn at being the life of the party. Your body will take some more time to heal. Funny how alcohol makes an immediate predictable change in our personality but sobriety is Nothing like that. Sobriety is not the opposite of drunkenness in that respect...

Hang in there!
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Old 04-24-2013, 02:06 AM
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Be grateful for the people you have in your life. Doing this all alone is like falling down the rabbit hole.
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Old 04-24-2013, 04:17 AM
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Hi pal, struggling here also. I get mad , then optimistic , then feeling sorry for myself. Took me 30 years to do the damage, I guess 12 days ain't gonna make it better. Hang in there, keep posting. We'll get there. God Bless
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Old 04-24-2013, 03:03 PM
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Originally Posted by trikyriky View Post
Hi pal, struggling here also. I get mad , then optimistic , then feeling sorry for myself. Took me 30 years to do the damage, I guess 12 days ain't gonna make it better. Hang in there, keep posting. We'll get there. God Bless
I am feeling more upbeat now on day 18. Hope you are too trikyriky Thanks for the support
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