ArizonaAltitude

Hi! I just joined. I've been a reader for the past few months. I've been back and forth about my drinking, as I've always been a strong-willed person. But I never took into account how our biology changes over the years, and habits stick harder.

I began my trip into alcoholism in this "manner" in 2009, after a break up. I wasn't drinking liquor, but just beer in excess. It progressed away from the crappy beer into the good beer, but thats just higher % in general, so it became the habit of a 6-pack of fancy stuff a day, more on the weekend.

It only recently has adversely affected my health, I just dont sleep right, I snore like crazy, I'm bloated and getting worse. My liver hurts when I'm not drinking, sometimes when I'm drinking. I just stopped on Saturday. I am still getting sweats and still kind of foggy. I've stopped before for a week or two, and loved it. But my body is telling me I need a period of healing, for at LEAST a month. I eat a healthy, 80% vegan diet, so I know how to eat/feel good, its just this craft/fancy beer habit/pattern I need to get out of.

After 30 days, I'll re-evaluate and maybe go to drink only 1 day a week, beer only, as always. I know addiction very well, as I was homeless for many years and lost many friends to hard drugs (never did them, like I said- strong willed) .

Lately, my drinking has just been at home, secluded. I dont want to go out and get into trouble, or just pass out (seems as I get older, I just get tired and dont want to interact with people after I cross the buzzed threshold)....

any tips? Should I invest in some milk thistle? I feel I need to just get back into my old hobbies, which were very physical in nature, meaning I need to lose this alcohol fat. I'm 6'1 and 260lbs. I know at least 45-50lbs of that are in just my bloated gut, I'm proportionate elsewhere.

Dunno what the point of the whole post was, just thought I'd introduce myself and maybe spark some ideas or convo. Thanks.

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR!!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Nonsensical

Finally, someone I can share a wardrobe with!

Welcome to SR! Hope you find what you're looking for. What is that, by the way? Are you looking to stay dry forever? What is your plan/goal?

least

to the family! You're nearly thru the physical withdrawals, a few more days and you should start feeling better. If you don't start feeling better it might be a good idea to see your doctor for a check up.

I'm glad you joined us!

Mountainmanbob

ArizonaAltitude

Thanks everyone. I am still discovering what can work for me. I think I just started a pattern that was unhealthy. I know that if I can abstain from hard liquor, I can do ok. I know myself pretty darn well and hope that I can just maintain a healthy life. I went through getting off the streets and having a child, then a custody battle and a lot more, that really drove me to medicate myself. I am plateauing and things are stabilizing, so I believe I can manage. But I joined to kind of monitor myself and interact with others that may have been through or are going through the same thing. I have a friend that goes to AA and she just goes wild with drinking and that leads her to drugs and other behaviors that she is not proud of. I look at myself and don't see the same thing. I just go home, crack a six pack, and play on the computer. Seems harmless enough, but doing this out of habit, boredom, and apathy over years seems to have not given my liver time to heal and has created a dependency.

Time shall tell, but for now its 0 beers a week for the foreseeable future. 30 days is where I sit down, meditate, and see how a couple beers taste. Maybe I'll only want just two.

I'm a homebrewer too. So, that has to stop for now too.

Vastreaction

You sound so much like me, it's scary. lol

I also used to homebrew, and started off exactly same: crack a 6-pack at the computer/TV, etc. I eventually got further out of hand though, drinking to cure my Insomnia, drinking to cure hangovers, getting blackout drunk, and so on.

It's awesome that you are able to take a step back and evaluate your situation with such clarity this early in the process, before the addiction really "dug its claws into you." Hope you learn some good stuff, and good luck with whatever you decide!

-Matt

bigsombrero

Hello and welcome! I also slowed down, had a 'craft beer' phase, and then started drinking at home and not going out. Things spiraled out of control after about 6 months, I was rushed to the hospital and then treatment. Don't think that "drinking at home" is by any means a safe activity. In fact if you check around here you will see that many of us have been affected by isolation and drinking.

There is also a newcomers' post here titled "Craft Beer Alcoholic" which might also be worth reading if you can search for it.

Sorry for the tough welcome, I just saw some similarities that mirrored my experience and wanted to share the info. All the best to you and I look forward to hearing about a plan to quit, we've all been down that road in one way or another.

Anna

Beer is alcohol and there is no difference between beer, wine or liquor as it affects the body.

If you are not an alcoholic, you will be able to stop and control your drinking. If you are an alcoholic, that will not happen. It may well be a couple of beers for awhile, but it won't last. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will get worse. You will be chasing after an illusion which will eventually take everything from you.

Hevyn

Welcome Arizona!

I hope you find the help and answers you need. This is an amazing place that helped me get sober after drinking all my life. I could never consider going back to square one with it. Glad you are here with us!

ArizonaAltitude

I'm sorry that has been your experience with alcohol. It hasn't really progressed. If fact, I'm drinking significantly less than I had my entire life.


One thing I've learned with talking to addicts is there are varying degrees of addiction, and each of our experiences may have similarities, but to the degree which alcohol affects our lives certainly varies.

I hold a full time job. I am a successful, involved single parent. I just don't like the funk I've gotten into with this 6 pack a day habit. I'd rather not have it, but I don't drive drunk, I don't start fights, I dont black out, I have a great time, actually. But. My health is wavering, and I'd rather not wake up hungover every day and have that affect in any small way my relationship with my son and the activities I used to do when younger (And a lot drunker, might I add).

I used to drink a half gallon a day, 10 years ago. an 18 pack+ a day, 6 years ago. I'm on the way, I just need to get out of this funk, and I suppose joining here is a way I can find others that have SIMILAR experiences.

Thank you for you're input, just thought I'd clarify a few things.

bigsombrero

I know some of us come across as over-worried parents and of course that's annoying. But trust me man, there's a reason.

Aside from being a father, you ARE speaking to someone with a similar experience. I was well respected as a manager, had a job of almost 10 years, oversaw my corporate division from a fancy corner office downtown on the 9th floor, never blacked out, never got in fights, just like you. I noticed I still drank like a college kid (no binges, but a 6-pack a night), and started poking around the internet for answers. I knew my health was deteriorating. I tried to rationalize and figure out ways to drink less, it just didn't happen. It got worse, and it happened fast. I have ZERO interest in helping you "find God", go to an AA meeting, or push you into some treatment program. But it's quitting time. I heard those same fearful words when I was in your shoes, and I didn't listen. It didn't apply to me. I was fine on the outside and nobody noticed, and before you know it I was having seizures in hotel lobbies and airports, waking up confused, and eventually being shuffled into rehab by broken-hearted family members.

I'm only 9 months sober so this whole thing happened to me not long ago. Just last summer, in fact.

Take what you will from my experience, use the info however you choose - that's the great part about these boards, nothing is mandatory. Good luck, I hope you keep coming back and find a way to quit.