Day 23 - Checkin' In & Cross Addiction
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Day 23 - Checkin' In & Cross Addiction
23 days off the sauce. I've been feeling great, no more withdrawals, just mild PAWS (minor memory problems, distraction, lack of focus).
However, I've noticed that I've developed a slight cross addiction.
From a BETTY FORD CENTER web page - "Cross addiction implies that if a person is a victim dependent on one psychoactive substance, he is at high risk to develop dependence on any other addicting psychoactive substance. However, when someone suffers from an entirely unrelated anxiety disorder or depression in addition to an addictive disease such as alcoholism or drug abuse, they possess what is called a dual disorder. It is wise then to consider the complexities involved with any addictive disease and to keep in mind the interplay of any two diagnoses."
Recently I've started to play online chess excessively as a way to relieve anxiety and distract myself from the responsibilities of everyday life. This is a lifelong pattern I have. I'm not sure how to deal with it except to try to live more consciously by journaling and spending quiet time alone. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
My anxiety is very mild (except for its consequences), I don't have panic attacks, I leave the house, etc. My pattern is that whenever I lose a job I distract myself rather than look for a job. I did this by drinking more often, then after I stopped drinking, by playing online chess too often. I have been unemployed for three years and haven't really started looking for a job until now. I'm not sure what that's all about, but I admit I haven't really thought about it much because of the distractions I create "to relieve stress/anxiety." Obviously my method isn't working. My increased debt and lowering self esteem are proof of that.
I will probably see a psychiatrist or psychologist once I get a job and health insurance for help with this issue.
However, I've noticed that I've developed a slight cross addiction.
From a BETTY FORD CENTER web page - "Cross addiction implies that if a person is a victim dependent on one psychoactive substance, he is at high risk to develop dependence on any other addicting psychoactive substance. However, when someone suffers from an entirely unrelated anxiety disorder or depression in addition to an addictive disease such as alcoholism or drug abuse, they possess what is called a dual disorder. It is wise then to consider the complexities involved with any addictive disease and to keep in mind the interplay of any two diagnoses."
Recently I've started to play online chess excessively as a way to relieve anxiety and distract myself from the responsibilities of everyday life. This is a lifelong pattern I have. I'm not sure how to deal with it except to try to live more consciously by journaling and spending quiet time alone. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
My anxiety is very mild (except for its consequences), I don't have panic attacks, I leave the house, etc. My pattern is that whenever I lose a job I distract myself rather than look for a job. I did this by drinking more often, then after I stopped drinking, by playing online chess too often. I have been unemployed for three years and haven't really started looking for a job until now. I'm not sure what that's all about, but I admit I haven't really thought about it much because of the distractions I create "to relieve stress/anxiety." Obviously my method isn't working. My increased debt and lowering self esteem are proof of that.
I will probably see a psychiatrist or psychologist once I get a job and health insurance for help with this issue.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England USA
Posts: 198
I need to see a psychologist as well once I get some medical insurance. I am trying very hard to recover and I do have success but in the process I have destroyed a potential relationship because I decided that to take my mind off of crack I would dig my claws in. Yeah backfire. It seems to be a lifelong pattern with me though. Everything that I do. I have to do to the extreme. I cant love I have LOVE. I obsess about things. Not just a guy but EVERYTHING. I fixate my attention on one thing and go to the fullest length possible. I am burning bridges and wearing people out. People of sick of my crap and my psychotic ways. Im skeptical of everyone. Everyone is out to get me. Everyone wants to hurt me and in the end they do. I think WAYYYYYY to much.. If anyone needs help its me. Ahhhhh I feel like a fruit loop cracker jack
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Have you been sober for a while before wanttobepure? I just think that maybe this could be a temporary cross addiction thing. Yes it is common, but in my experience a lot of my obsessions died down a lot after being sober for a while. And there is also the view that some addictions aren't bad for us. I bet you're really good at chess 
If you have problems with stress and anxiety though you don't want to stop playing chess/get job/start drinking, much better to play chess for a few months/stay sober/be happy/get job. Don't expect too much too soon. The most important thing is that you stay sober x
If you have problems with stress and anxiety though you don't want to stop playing chess/get job/start drinking, much better to play chess for a few months/stay sober/be happy/get job. Don't expect too much too soon. The most important thing is that you stay sober x
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Originally Posted by wanttobepure 
However, I've noticed that I've developed a slight cross addiction.
I don't doubt you can play online chess (or engage in any activity) too much. And you seem to be using it to avoid something that may be causing you anxiety. But to call it an addiction is a little much. And if it keeps you sober, that's a good thing, because alcoholism is an addiction.
Well done on 23 days.
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Originally Posted by hypochondriac
Have you been sober for a while before wanttobepure? I just think that maybe this could be a temporary cross addiction thing. Yes it is common, but in my experience a lot of my obsessions died down a lot after being sober for a while. And there is also the view that some addictions aren't bad for us. I bet you're really good at chess If you have problems with stress and anxiety though you don't want to stop playing chess/get job/start drinking, much better to play chess for a few months/stay sober/be happy/get job. Don't expect too much too soon. The most important thing is that you stay sober x
If you have problems with stress and anxiety though you don't want to stop playing chess/get job/start drinking, much better to play chess for a few months/stay sober/be happy/get job. Don't expect too much too soon. The most important thing is that you stay sober xYes, I was sober for 2 1/2 years about 15 years ago. I am sure that I will not be playing much internet chess once I land a job. The problem is that in order to get a job I have to stop wasting my time/life playing chess. I set a goal to not play chess and use the time to look for a job. We'll see how that goes...
"Don't expect too much too soon" is good advice and I needed to hear that, thank you!
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It sounds like you're being reasonable. Of course, there is nothing wrong with playing chess online, unless it interferes with such things as finding a job. Finding a job should take precedence over chess, which is probably why you're concerned.
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl
This from reading a web site? Take a deep breath.
I don't doubt you can play online chess (or engage in any activity) too much. And you seem to be using it to avoid something that may be causing you anxiety. But to call it an addiction is a little much. And if it keeps you sober, that's a good thing, because alcoholism is an addiction.
Well done on 23 days.
I don't doubt you can play online chess (or engage in any activity) too much. And you seem to be using it to avoid something that may be causing you anxiety. But to call it an addiction is a little much. And if it keeps you sober, that's a good thing, because alcoholism is an addiction.
Well done on 23 days.
It seems that internet chess addiction is a repeating pattern in my life. I got heavily into chess once before after getting laid off from a job. I wasted 2 1/2 years distracting myself with chess rather than looking for a job. When I was laid off three years ago (different job), I told myself that I'd look for a job right away. Unfortunately, I "chose" to distract myself with alcohol for three years instead. Now that I've stopped drinking, (23 days) I have started to repeat the chess addiction pattern. The good news is that I noticed it right away because alcohol is no longer distracting me.
If people can get addicted to the internet, internet gaming, gambling, etc., I see no reason why internet chess can't also be an addiction. I get a "high" from playing, but if I play too often I feel shame and that I've wasted my time. However, I will leave it up to the editors of DSM-IV to categorize it.
The best plan for me is to start looking for a job and stop distracting myself.
Thanks again for your reply.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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What you name the problem matters less than what you do about it.
Maybe try getting a planner/daily agenda book and writing down goals for each day and what you accomplish each day. At the end of the week you can look back and see if you want to make changes to how your spent your time, make new goals, etc.
Make yourself accountable for your time... if you look and see that you spent 2 hours a day or 4 hours a day or however many hours a day playing internet chess at the end of the week, it will motivate you to want to do something else.
Also, make MANAGEABLE job goals. Today, I will inquire at 3 places, or submit my resume to 3 places or if you need to to start, day 1 might be, "Today I'm going to update my resume." Just break it down and take little steps each day.
Maybe try getting a planner/daily agenda book and writing down goals for each day and what you accomplish each day. At the end of the week you can look back and see if you want to make changes to how your spent your time, make new goals, etc.
Make yourself accountable for your time... if you look and see that you spent 2 hours a day or 4 hours a day or however many hours a day playing internet chess at the end of the week, it will motivate you to want to do something else.
Also, make MANAGEABLE job goals. Today, I will inquire at 3 places, or submit my resume to 3 places or if you need to to start, day 1 might be, "Today I'm going to update my resume." Just break it down and take little steps each day.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Thank you for the great advice DG0409. I haven't set goals in so long that I actually forgot about the concept of goals. I began using a planner today and will follow your advice/directions. Your plan will keep me present, focused, and accountable for my actions and use of time. 
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