Need help with setting boundaries
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1
Need help with setting boundaries
I am the wife of an alcoholic. We have been married for 34 years and he is truly the love of my life. He has been drinking now for 10 years. We had a wonderful marriage. He was laid off 5 years ago and it took him 4 years to finally find a job. After a few months on the job, he was diagnosed with heart failure and had to leave. So back to being unemployed, which is not good for a man. He is very depressed and is out of control with his drinking. I feel I'm in a loosing battle. I have never set any clear boundaries and feel that this is something I need to do. Just not sure how to do this. I do not want to divorce him, but it has gotten to the point I don't want to continue on living this way. This has torn our family apart and I have to do something. I know that there is a fine line between helping and enabling. I know I can't fix him. Any suggestions?
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posts: 4,038
There is an excellent book by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend titled, "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life." I believe there is also a workbook.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Welcome Grace4me58, you will also find a lot of information and support in the Friends and Family section of SR - Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I am sorry that you, your family and your husband are going through this; there are no easy answers but you will find a lot of understanding and support here.
I am sorry that you, your family and your husband are going through this; there are no easy answers but you will find a lot of understanding and support here.
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