tamario

I am a parent of an addict. Daughter age 24. She started using in high school. I've been through pretty much everything with her. Inpatients, outpatients, overdoses and arrests. Its been a painful journey that has torn the family apart. I took a leap of faith last January after she had been sober for a few months to let her move home. She seems to have matured a lot. My daughter's father had moved a few hours away when she was just 13 and has been marginally involved in her life. He visits a few times a year and calls her occasionally. Her two older sisters (both adult and living their own lives) are resentful of the pain she has caused the family and they want nothing to do with her. They were not happy with my choice to let her move back home.

Still I feel like I did the right thing. She enrolled in a couple of classes at the community college and is getting good grades. She works part time at KFC and hasn't missed a day. This is the best she has done in years. Now after living with me for the past six months, she met a girl at work who uses and was quickly pulled in. She was out for a few weeks without my knowledge. But there were signs and I confronted her. She owned up and told me that she did relapse and caught herself and is now on methadone. She plans to wean down from that. She hoped I would never have to know and that she would never have to see that look of disappointment on my face. She showed me the methadone. This course would not have been my choice but it is not my addiction.

My gut is that she is telling me the truth and that she was caught off guard meeting another heroin addict at work. She has cut off the friendship with this girl and they don't generally work the same shift. I have not kicked her out. She has been working so very hard at her life over the past semester and I really don't believe she wants to go back to hell. Am I wrong to have given her another chance?

Dee74

Hi Tamario

All I can say is, as an alcoholic, I found redemption.

I hope your daughter can too

Sometimes I think all we can do is go with our gut.

I'm not a parent tho. I hope you'll hear from other parents here.
I also encourage you to check out our Family and Friends forums too

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

you'll find a lot of support here

D

neferkamichael

Tamario, I admire you for giving your daugther a second chance. My parents never knew I was an addict and I always had a place to go if things went wrong until the day they passed away. It has got to be the most horrible feeling in the world to have no place to go and she is bound to feel that way. I am praying for her Tamario, I hope she makes it, and I wish the best for you.

fantail

It sounds to me that if she's being honest with you, then this was a very understandable slip and one that she'll learn a lot from. I'm an alcoholic so I've been in close to and with access to my favorite drug 24/7 since I quit. But I remember a friend's process getting off heroin when we were younger involved a similar slip or two. When she first got sober she moved home with her parents who were in a different city from all of her friends that used, so she wasn't around it at all. When she moved back to her own city, she had a couple of bumps as she got used to being back in an environment where she could easily start using again. But she made it and she's very happy and successful now, with a good job and a very strong relationship. I hope your daughter's experience is the same.

least

I hope for your sake and your daughter's that she's being honest with you and will try again to stay clean. You are being very generous to her and I hope she understands that.

I'm a parent too and understand how you must feel - pulled in two directions. Please know that you can come here anytime and vent or ask for advice. We care and we'll listen.

ForMeForThem

I'm praying for you and your daughter. I have watched my sister struggle with my heroin addicted niece for many years. It's very hard on the entire family. My niece progressively got worse and is now in a court ordered in patient rehab and then will be at a half way house before returning to my sisters home. My sister is terrified about what will happen when she does. We're hoping this will be the time that my niece will be ready to work at positive changes in her life and be honest. I hope that time is now for your daughter. Go with your gut but be vigilant as to what may be happening. The signs will show themselves.

tamario

What a wonderful feeling of suport from this group. So hard to find out there. I have tried going to Narcanon but the restraints of talking about the right thing at the right time for a given length of time and no cross talk was hard for me. I felt coming away that I had broken rules and it made me feel more alone than when I walked in. Most of the people at the meeting I was at were talking more about what they did for themselves that day. Like remodeling their house or taking a trip. I was in such pain and it felt like the wrong place for me. It felt like everyone else had put their pain away and no longer needed to talk about it. I am sure there are other groups that may have a different tone but I was no longer interested. Not meant to bash these groups. Just my experience, and thankful that here I feel heard and safe.