Another newcomer
 

Hi everyone, I just stumbled across this site and it seems to be a very welcoming place with lots of support and resources.

I don't generally open up about this honestly so I apologize if this gets lengthy. I started smoking weed at 13 and substance abuse in one form or another has pretty much been a part of my life ever since.

For years I was able to slide by with my habits and function normally since they didn't necessarily cross over into full blown dependency. I still did well in school, have a scholarship, etc.. But in the past year things have really gone down hill fast. It's been a long time coming but I now clearly see the meaning behind this being a progressive thing.

Occasional drinking turned into binge drinking with friends on the weekends, which has now turned into drinking almost every night, and usually hiding it. I can easily drink half a liter of liquor, or a 1.5L bottle of wine, if not more. Adderall has definitely increased my tolerance and accelerated the process. (I'm prescribed this, but only recently started taking it again, and in all honesty I wanted the prescription more for the high than to help me in any practical way).

I've sabotaged relationships that were very important to me- one in particular that sort of set off the depression I'm just now starting to emerge from, I highly doubt I'll be able to pass all my classes this semester, I should be looking for internships but can't even manage to hold down a part time job... Basically I've just gotten to the point where I'm disgusted with what my life is turning into. And I'm only 22, it really scares me to think where this could lead if it continues.

So I'm not in denial that I have a problem, but I guess I'm still in the stage of not really wanting or knowing how to own up to it fully. I'm not opposed to AA meetings, I've been to a couple and think they're a great tool, but the religious aspect is off putting for me. Just from browsing through this site I've already seen some great info on secular or non-step programs and definitely want to look more into those. I know yoga and meditation will be a part of it for me as well. I was also wondering if anyone here has had any experience with the anti-craving medications like naltrexone, campral, etc.?

Anyway just thought I'd introduce myself and share what I'm going through right now, thanks for listening!

Welcome to SR Seabreeze :)

I took campral for a bit but it was when I had been sober for a while and although it felt like it helped I am not sure how much of that was just a placebo. I don't think any of those things are a replacement for working on the mental side of addiction but I am sure they do help. Have you spoken to a doctor about your addiction issues? There is lots of good info on secular recovery methods in the secular connections forum here :) Glad you're here x

Welcome to SR,

I agree with Hypo that you should consult your Dr.

Keep reading and I'm sure you will find info from other that have been in the same position as you

Stay Strong
Ken

Welcome to the site Seabreeze. You'll find a heck of a lot of support here from a wide variety of people from all over the world, who all have one common desire. To stay sober and live a happy and fulfilling life. I seems that you have already made a great start in admitting to yourself that you have a problem. And it is a problem that will only get worse if you continue on your current path.

You don't have to own up to the world and his wife. Just by posting on here has opened up many wonderful possibilities for you. In time, should you wish to, you could talk to your family, but that's in the future. For now you need to instigate a plan of action. Your addiction needs to be accepted, not fought (because if you are like me you will not win that fight). It never sleeps and keeps itself in prime condition! accepting that, for you, alcohol and other drugs place you in a very perilous position, and that you are powerless over your addiction is the 1st step to recovery. You are very fortunate that you have reached this point so early in your life, and you can save yourself untold misery if you begin your sobriety now.

Stopping drinking and using is but a beginning. It is living without drink or drugs that is the challenging bit. Not because you will be missing out on anything, but because you have taken mood and mind altering substances for a reason. Maybe for many reasons. If you are anything like me you will recognize how anger, resentment, pride, jealously, envy, self pity, selfishness, lust etc affects you on a daily basis. Drinking is a symptom of deeper issues for me. maybe it's that way for you as well. It is very hard to recover alone.

Don't worry about the religious issue of AA. I went for 10 years and am not a believer in any traditional concepts of religion. I would recommend AA if only to have contact with other recovering people.

All the best.

Hi Seabreeze, welcome.

I can offer you some hope. I got sober aged 22 and have not needed to drink since 1980. Like you I initially thought there was some religious "catch" with AA and for some reason that I can't explain, I was very anti the God idea.

After 33 years in AA I can confirm there is nothing religious about it. It is a spiritual means of recovery that can fit with any religion or, as in my case, no religion. However, I have over the years developed a concept of a higher power that makes sense to me, and this seems to be perfectly adequate for the AA program to work in my life.

At 22 I was desperate, almost at deaths door. I had tried every other non-spiritual remedy and had run out of options. I believe I had reached a point where I was beyond human aid in the usual sense. The only remaining option for me was spiritual help which I accepted willingly.

Not every problem drinker reaches this point, in fact most don't. You may well be one who can recover without spiritual help, but if you find you can't, AA will still be there for you.

:welcome Do check out our secular forum for non twelve step programs. Here's the forum.

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Welcome seabreeze. I think you'll find SR to be very helpful. It really made me feel good to know I wasn't alone in the struggle.

At 22 I hadn't even begun to think about drinking too much - so I commend you for dealing with this now. I went on for decades trying to manage it, knowing in my heart that I didn't drink like a normal person. I could've saved myself so much grief and misery. I'm glad you are taking action. We're happy to have you with us.

welcome to SR seabreeze :)

Read around and post as much as you like. I also recommend you see a DR - it's a good general rule of thumb, and it pays to ask the professionals about whether meds would be suitable for you, and what kinds :)


D