Restless, Irritable and Discontent.
 

Today has been a hard day, and for the first time since my binge (today is my 33rd day), I really felt like having a drink. Come the end of the working day (which was the absolute pits), I fantasied about stopping off on the way home for 3-4 stiff drinks. I have been angry all day inside, and having those intense conversations with myself that lead to nowhere, but only serve to get me even more riled up, frustrated and self piteous. It didn't come out of nowhere, I am highly stressed in my job and I could feel the bile rising over the last few days.

Fortunately I was able to summon up the memories of where alcohol took me as a result of my last binge. This cleared the mist somewhat and I knew that just had to get home. I also know that I need to do something during the evenings to reduce stress. However, I am so shattered in the evenings that I haven't the energy to do much, other than walk the dog (which I often resent having to do). I am also in the process of moving to a new flat (I have been asked to leave here as a result of my last binge), which I think has added to the feeling of tension.

Just glad to be able to share this on here as it does help. And this too shall pass.

Thanks.

Sorry to hear of your struggle but I certainly can relate. I hate those days where I just feel that internal impatience and irritability building. I often feel like I should do my wife a favor and make myself scarce until I come back to the "world of reasonable people".
As you said, this too shall pass. The frequency of these days will decrease as long as we stay on our healthy path.
Try to relax, have fun and play with your dog this evening. They truly are great companions that stick with us even through recovery. :)

My first 60 days were hell. I was unemployed, which for me was more stressful than working. I made chunks of my day were I would go and do something different just to take the edge off. Moving home is the most stressful thing anyone can do. Try to go and find a new hobby. Even if it's only for an hour a week. Just to level you out. I hope everything goes ok for you.

Natom.

Yeah, you're right it will pass. You can help it pass by slowing down. Find the balance between ace and the apocalypse. This 'swing' is typical. If your thing is anger do something nice for someone. Feel your way through it knowing you don't have to act out while feeling it. I think take it easy or easy does it is a simpler way it's put in AA. Be gentle, putting yourself first.