Clay3

Unsure what to write? Slowly navigating around this site.
Just had my last hit... 23 yrs using, time to change my thoughts so I can change my behaviour.
I'm a 36yr old female and I'm an expert in addiction I want to be an expert at living.

Thank you

doggonecarl

Welcome to SR, Clay.

Last hit of what?

Regardless, I think you will find the help and support you need here. Good luck.

visch1

Hi and welcome. We all have been where you are now. You’ve got a rung up by seeing there is a problem in your life which is controllable if you want to. I’m an AA Nazi but after many years it’s still working for me so I don’t look elsewhere. There are other things that work but I don’t want to chance them. I guess most of them are based on not picking up the first drink/drug also. I don’t know how deep they go into the reasons we continue to abuse ourselves for so long. To many of us the main reason I drank was feelings that’s why many call it a dis-ease.
BE WELL.

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Clay x

shockozulu

Welcome to SR Clay

AcceptingChange

Welcome Clay!
You're the person i've been looking for.You're an expert in addiction? Me too.
And i want to be an expert at living too.

The main thing i've come up with is i have to stop using.
The other thing i do is learn from other people who have stopped using, or are trying to.
What have you learned from your experiences with addiction?

Thanks!

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR!!

I thought I was an expert in addiction back when I was a nurse and "knew it all". Yeah, right. Several years later I was an expert because I'd dabbled and abused all kinds of things and became totally addicted to crack.

I don't claim to be an expert in recovery, but I have managed over 6 years clean and I credit that, in large part, to the great people her.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

least

I'm glad you found us and joined the family!

Clay3

Cheers thank you for your support. One day down nearly!

Clay3

image-2154580821.jpg

Thank you Amy... I hope I am replying in the correct place, this iPhone app is somewhat confusing. This is not my first time Of giving up a substance, the first which I am now 13 years clean from.. Heroin / methadone. Unfortunately I replaced it with speed. I am struggling with it much more... It's quite strange really, getting off methadone was such a physically painfully thing that I feel the memory of that pain has kept me from never using smack or methadone again. I sometimes wish meth/speed was the same. I'm unsure if this will post in the right spot so I will leave it at that for now. Thank you for your support again.

Clay3

I think I am in a similar place to u, I have to stop using.... I have been getting away with all messed up for 20 plus years... Working in job such as the military and education with relatively little suspicion... It was exhausting keeping up the secret life if me. Recently however it all came crashing down. My brain finally flipped out and could take it no more. A police chase a hospital stay an embarrassing fall from grace and the clincher .... I now have voices, voices that talk to me all day long like they were real people, 4 of them. They (voices for lack of a better word) have taken on four people I know -characteristics and tone.. They hate me however and give running commentary from the second I wake to the second I sleep on any given thought or thing I do. I am tired. It has been six months since they arrived with their unrelenting criticism. My last hope is to get VERY VERY clean and hope like hell the damage isn't permanent.
Woah I hope that made sense? So in a nutshell, I am a junky, a junky teetering on insanity. Day 1 down. Thank u for your kind words.

Clay3

Thank you, I'm sure I will come back to this post over and over when it all feels a bit much

Clay3

Crystal meth.. It was **** too lol!!! Up and up hey? Cause this sure ain't working. Almost a day. Thank you

Clay3

Thank u 😃

Clay3

😃Thank u

doggonecarl

I was hooked on meth. Pretty insidious drug. OD'd on some crank laced with something bad and that was the turning point for me. At least with meth, I still battled addiction and alcohol for the next 30 years.

But I've been blessed to be clean and sober for over 30 months.

You can do this.

trikyriky

I just feel compelled to post here. Clay I am with you. 30 plus years addicted cocaine/ crack. I signed on here in January, have many posts of starting over. I just keep coming back, reposting. I am on day 5 and coming to a critical trigger day, Friday ( payday ) which I have yet to get past. This is a great place. I have made friends and am learning so much. Its a gift . Don't stop coming ,as many times as it take. Others with more clean time will respond and support you. Read as much as you can, explore. I can't put it away, spending 5 maybe more hours a day here. Gotta get back to work. Wishing you/ me sober recovery. God bless

Clay3

Congrats that is impressive! I know I will too.. I want my brain back! I am currently on a getting shorter waiting list to a rehab farm.. I know this is where I will get my best foot up, away from life yes but for the first time in many years the chance to focus on getting well so I can best position myself to succeed. Cheers for sharing

Clay3

Thank you for taking the time to post... PAYDAY!! Aggrrrhhh yes that will be my first hurdle and hopefully one u will jump too this week let me know how u go

trikyriky

Yes , I will . Look for my posts. Ahhhhhh! Hoping to post a day 8 which would mean I got past Friday. You can follow a particular member , read all posts by so & so from the navigation bar , although I haven't been able to from this phone app. From the website its easier at least till I learn this . God Bless