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-   -   i have a question... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/291350-i-have-question.html)

HelterSkelter67 04-14-2013 09:06 PM

i have a question...
 
let me lay some basic information first. i am 23 soon to be 24. i am in college. i don't drugs.

i have heard a lot of different things when it comes to alcohol abuse. some people say you are not an alcoholic if alcohol doesn't rule your life, or if it doesn't spread into and interfere with other areas of your life. some people say it depends on how much you drink and other say how often or why you drink.

i drink fairly often, but only if i have alcohol available, and i only have it available if i have the money available (after expenses like car maintenance, food, school, etc...). but when i do have alcohol available i'll drink up to 5 days a week, around 7-10 drinks a nights.

i have gone around a month without a drink without even thinking about alcohol. at the time i was building my car, which i race :D, and thus alcohol was not a priority for me.

i have started to worry, though, do you think i have a drinking problem, or am i just an average 20 something year old? i know there are those that don't condone usage of any kind of mind altering substance at all and those that do, but what i am really asking is do you think my drinking habits are a problem? so far they haven't spilled over into other areas of my life and i will not drink if it will affect another part of my life like work or class the next morning.

i still worry though.....

Lilme 04-14-2013 09:13 PM

I am very new here, like literally just signed up a few minutes ago...
My drinking started off inocent enough...once a week to a few times a week and more. I kept telling myself I was nothing like the people I knew that were alcoholics because it was not interfering with my life... but I am. I know that now. Once the withdrawls started for me it was kind of hard to deny it anymore.
I think it is probably different for everyone, but maybe you should ask yourself that question and really examine your life closely and what alcohol means to you. Do you ever crave it? Do you ever make excuses for why you drink?
Even if you are not an alcoholic, it can turn into a problem very quickly. Please be careful. ((hugs))

Like I said I am a newbie here so take what I say with a grain of salt.

Mizzuno 04-14-2013 09:19 PM

Hello. Its good that you are questioning this. The fact that you are questioning this raises a flag for me. 7 to 10 drinks is a lot of alcohol for one evening. Do you think that you have a problem? Only you can truly answer this question.

HelterSkelter67 04-14-2013 09:44 PM

both good replies.


i do sometimes have cravings, but ever since my high school years (lots of drugs) i have made sure to not do whatever it is i am craving. say i have a strong craving to drink one night, i will refuse to drink


i never really thought i had a drinking problem until my mom made a comment about how much i drink. though i just blew it off at the time as her being very conservative.

i have shaken off worse things than alcohol(or at least i think worse) without much effort. so i think i may just have a feeling of invincibility that isn't really there.



i'll be blunt. when i drink, i drink to feel a buzz at the very least if not to get drunk. i know my limits fairly well and don't get sick. i have been drinking a lot more than usual lately, i feel as though once times get back to normal i will go back to drinking to the point i do now only once every month or so if not less frequently.


i have always been very cautious though, and this is why i am turning to you guys for a second opinion.


i'm sorry if i appear scatterbrained. my forums posts are a bit of stream of consciousness.

Briar 04-14-2013 09:59 PM

I knew at 21 that my drinking was a problem and remember telling a friend so. I am quitting now at 32 because it has gotten bad and I have so much to lose. Getting to this point has been very painful, and I wish I would have listened to my instincts 11 years ago and quit then. I think my 20s would have been much better sober, and the longer you drink, the harder it is to stop.

HelterSkelter67 04-14-2013 10:06 PM

is drinking a lot every once in a while okay? like on your birthday? is getting drunk occasionally okay? i don't even know where to begin...

Dib42 04-14-2013 10:10 PM


Originally Posted by HelterSkelter67 (Post 3917660)
let me lay some basic information first. i am 23 soon to be 24. i am in college. i don't drugs.

i have heard a lot of different things when it comes to alcohol abuse. some people say you are not an alcoholic if alcohol doesn't rule your life, or if it doesn't spread into and interfere with other areas of your life. some people say it depends on how much you drink and other say how often or why you drink.

i drink fairly often, but only if i have alcohol available, and i only have it available if i have the money available (after expenses like car maintenance, food, school, etc...). but when i do have alcohol available i'll drink up to 5 days a week, around 7-10 drinks a nights.

i have gone around a month without a drink without even thinking about alcohol. at the time i was building my car, which i race :D, and thus alcohol was not a priority for me.

i have started to worry, though, do you think i have a drinking problem, or am i just an average 20 something year old? i know there are those that don't condone usage of any kind of mind altering substance at all and those that do, but what i am really asking is do you think my drinking habits are a problem? so far they haven't spilled over into other areas of my life and i will not drink if it will affect another part of my life like work or class the next morning.

i still worry though.....


I don't know if you have a drinking problem, but I have a drinking problem, and I also had a very similar story as you when I was 23.

Dib42 04-14-2013 10:12 PM


Originally Posted by HelterSkelter67 (Post 3917734)
is drinking a lot every once in a while okay? like on your birthday? is getting drunk occasionally okay? i don't even know where to begin...


its different for everyone.

For me, my determination is drinking when you know you shouldn't be.

but there is no magic number that makes you an alcoholic.

HelterSkelter67 04-14-2013 10:18 PM


Originally Posted by Dib42 (Post 3917740)
its different for everyone.

For me, my determination is drinking when you know you shouldn't be.

but there is no magic number that makes you an alcoholic.

hmm. that makes me feel better.

i don't really want to quit alltogether, i have always felt (personally, and i know this doesn't apply to anyone else than myself) that avoidance isn't a sucess, but being able to do and conquer something, to not let it control you but to control it, was success.

for the time being i think i should try and cut back. and maybe slow it to a stop for a while. do you guys think that is a good idea?

Dib42 04-14-2013 10:28 PM


Originally Posted by HelterSkelter67 (Post 3917743)
hmm. that makes me feel better.

i don't really want to quit alltogether, i have always felt (personally, and i know this doesn't apply to anyone else than myself) that avoidance isn't a sucess, but being able to do and conquer something, to not let it control you but to control it, was success.

for the time being i think i should try and cut back. and maybe slow it to a stop for a while. do you guys think that is a good idea?

i'm willing to bet everything I have that EVERY SINGLE PERSON HERE (including myself) has had that exact same thought.

HelterSkelter67 04-14-2013 10:31 PM

hmmmmmmmm


i quit smoking a while back. but i have a cigarette every now and then. i feel i could do the same with drinking. is that a bad idea? that's the thought process i have right now.

bravenewworld07 04-14-2013 10:32 PM

I've only just joined a few minutes ago. I've been reading threads for hours though. I am an alcoholic. I'm finally admitting it so I can get some help. I have ruined plenty of things in my life and I have so much available to me. I feel like I might be running out of chances.

I'm 40 years of age and my health is starting to be affected. I tell you my friend the time between your 20s and your 40s flies by. I hear in your language that you have a real concern and you're asking us what we think. What do you really think? Like really?

Dib42 04-14-2013 10:33 PM


Originally Posted by HelterSkelter67 (Post 3917755)
hmmmmmmmm


i quit smoking a while back. but i have a cigarette every now and then. i feel i could do the same with drinking. is that a bad idea? that's the thought process i have right now.

I can't tell you what works for you and what doesn't. Just what I do and what others I know do. All I can say is that you're having the same thoughts and doing the same things I did. I ended up an alcoholic, you might not be one... there is no telling..... but you're here for a reason.

Dib42 04-14-2013 10:36 PM

I used say my goal was to control my drinking, because I fealt it was a defeat to quit all together. I didn't want to be the guy hanging out with all my friends that chooses not to drink... but I didn't want to be the guy that gets plastard and tells there friends how they should live they're life and their mother's are whores... I was the latter more frequently than the former.

bravenewworld07 04-14-2013 10:39 PM

Agreed Dib42. I have had that thought. Often.

HelterSkelter67 04-14-2013 10:42 PM


Originally Posted by bravenewworld07 (Post 3917757)
I've only just joined a few minutes ago. I've been reading threads for hours though. I am an alcoholic. I'm finally admitting it so I can get some help. I have ruined plenty of things in my life and I have so much available to me. I feel like I might be running out of chances.

I'm 40 years of age and my health is starting to be affected. I tell you my friend the time between your 20s and your 40s flies by. I hear in your language that you have a real concern and you're asking us what we think. What do you really think? Like really?

to be honest, i don't feel it is a problem. i understand that lately i have been drinking too much, but i don't drink this often normally. which is why i have turned to this place.


Originally Posted by Dib42 (Post 3917759)
I can't tell you what works for you and what doesn't. Just what I do and what others I know do. All I can say is that you're having the same thoughts and doing the same things I did. I ended up an alcoholic, you might not be one... there is no telling..... but you're here for a reason.

it makes me thing that i may not be thinking properly, seeing that so many people have gone down the same path as me thinking the same as me.


Originally Posted by Dib42 (Post 3917762)
I used say my goal was to control my drinking, because I fealt it was a defeat to quit all together. I didn't want to be the guy hanging out with all my friends that chooses not to drink... but I didn't want to be the guy that gets plastard and tells there friends how they should live they're life and their mother's are whores... I was the latter more frequently than the former.

what would you say your goal is now?

Dib42 04-14-2013 10:47 PM


Originally Posted by HelterSkelter67 (Post 3917768)
to be honest, i don't feel it is a problem. i understand that lately i have been drinking too much, but i don't drink this often normally. which is why i have turned to this place.



it makes me thing that i may not be thinking properly, seeing that so many people have gone down the same path as me thinking the same as me.



what would you say your goal is now?

My goal now is to be a good person, a good father and a good husband. being drunk all the time gets in the way of that, so I don't casually drink. because 1 or 2 drinks is boring and i'm terrified of being bored.

bravenewworld07 04-14-2013 10:48 PM


Originally Posted by HelterSkelter67 (Post 3917768)

to be honest, i don't feel it is a problem. i understand that lately i have been drinking too much, but i don't drink this often normally. which is why i have turned to this place.

it makes me thing that i may not be thinking properly, seeing that so many people have gone down the same path as me thinking the same as me.

what would you say your goal is now?

I think it's great you're here. Even if you have no problem you are brave enough to enquire about your actions. Not many people have the courage to evn do that.

Dib42 04-14-2013 10:49 PM


Originally Posted by HelterSkelter67 (Post 3917768)
to be honest, i don't feel it is a problem. i understand that lately i have been drinking too much, but i don't drink this often normally. which is why i have turned to this place.



it makes me thing that i may not be thinking properly, seeing that so many people have gone down the same path as me thinking the same as me.



what would you say your goal is now?

its definatly something you should look into. maybe you're just drinking a bit more than normal for some other reason, or maybe you're drinking a bit more than normal because that's how alcoholism progresses... don't know

HelterSkelter67 04-14-2013 10:56 PM


Originally Posted by Dib42 (Post 3917773)
My goal now is to be a good person, a good father and a good husband. being drunk all the time gets in the way of that, so I don't casually drink. because 1 or 2 drinks is boring and i'm terrified of being bored.

yes it is. i don't see myself just having a few drinks, like having a cigarette every now and then, since there is no point to it.


Originally Posted by bravenewworld07 (Post 3917775)
I think it's great you're here. Even if you have no problem you are brave enough to enquire about your actions. Not many people have the courage to evn do that.

thank you :} hopefully i don't have a problem and my drinking settles down once other things settle down, but if not i will crush the problem like many before it >:}


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