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I'm back... After almost a year... I'm back. I'm ready to make it work this time.

I'm a 24 year old graduate student. In school for counseling (ironic, huh?) After two DUI convictions, a crashed vehicle (my father's), several drunken blunders, too much money spent, relationships ruined, grades declined. I'm done.

Sometimes I feel like it's too late. I'm in too far, too deep. ****** it up too bad to turn it around. But lately I've been feeling this crazy motivation. This weekend was the first weekend I didn't go out and get bombed in months (aside from weekends I was sick). I cannot believe how good I feel. How much I accomplished. I know that I can do this.

What I realized today and could finally admit to myself, is that I need someone to hold me accountable. I need someone to answer to. To keep me in check. To make sure I keep my **** together. I get so distracted, so easily. Always wanting to live in the moment, to have fun (and how many times is it ACTUALLY fun..?) I want to make a change. I want to be successful, I want to make money, I want to LIVE... I already ****** it up bad enough. If I was someone else looking at me, I'd say to myself, it took you THIS long?

So please, any tips, advice will help. I'm ready to do this, to put all my energy into work and not look back.. not feel guilty, not fall back in that slump :):gaah

It's never too late Bella :)

I don;t think you need someone to be accountable to tho - you need to learn to value yourself enough to be accountable to yourself.

There's many ways to do that - some use AA or anoither recovery group, some use counselling, some use SR...some use a mix of various things.

I think the more you put into your recovery - the more time and effort you invest - the more you'll get out of it :)

D

Thanks, you are right. I just need to develop a greater willpower. Thanks!

I joined the SR posting group for the month I quit and started posting there daily. Especially towards the beginning there were a couple of times where I think I would have tried to "just have one or two" except that I didn't want to have to admit it after talking here so much about how happy I was to have quit. Maybe join the class of April for a start and start posting there?