Can't control my binge drinking?
 

I'm 31 now and this cycle has stuck with me since I started drinking at 17. I work Mon to Fri but once the weekend lands I have to drink, I'm the type of guy I can't stop at 1 drink, I have to drink until I am drunk, if I am honest I don't even like the taste of beer or any alcoholic drinks, I drink for 1 purpose to get drunk.

And as I say I have been doing this almost every weekend for nearly half my life now, I could count on 1 hand the amount of weekends I've not had a drink, the only thing that stops me drinking at the weekend is if I have something to go to and need a clear head such as a funeral or something, I normally can't resist that urge once the weekend lands, its like "I've worked hard all week, I deserve my little treat"

I'm not really a massive drinker, I'd go through a 12 pack of beer max at the weekend but I am sick and tired waking up feeling like **** and before you know it your back to work and so the cycle continues.

I am also funny in that I kind of hide my drinking, well not from the wife but I never drink when I am out, I only drink at home, for the reason being if your out for a family meal or something and have a beer I can't stop at one, I need more, so while everyone else would be happy to go home satisfied with a beer or 2 I am looking more, so I just don't bother drinking when I go out to such social events.

Can anyone else relate to this?

I can, along with many others. I call it a harsh word for many, a dis-ease. The solution is NOT picking up the FIRST one, one day at a time, simple but not easy for many of us.
BE WELL

Welcome to SR Falko :)

Yeah I can relate to that. There are some people who I met in the last few years of my drinking who probably didn't realise I drank at all because I would never drink when I went out, or if I did it was at the end of the night when I know I could drink when I got home. It felt like I was being duplicitous in a way. My years of drinking in public were characterised by blackouts and god knows what sort of behaviour though so I wanted to cover that up. Drinking at home alone was the safe option.

Sure i can relate, but my binges weren't limited to the weekend.

Hi falko89.

Actually you are not that unique. I never drank when I went out with others. They could be absolutely trashed and would be drinking soda of some sort.

I would go to visit friends or family and not once drink, didn't even have an urge to drink no matter how many others were drinking. It could be several weeks and I wouldn't drink while out or away visiting.

I live alone and I only drank at home.

Where you and I are different is I was a daily beer drinker. If I was home, I was alone and I drank about a 12 pack a day, every day...and night until I went to bed...passed out.

There are many resources available if you want to stop drinking

Here is a link to some of them:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

There is also Rational Recovery, AVRT which is the Technique I have used successfully the last few months to now be permanently abstained from alcohol.

There is a lot of good information here. Please take your time to look around and ask others how they quit drinking.

The inability to control our drinking once we start is one of the main things that sets us apart from normal/social drinkers. the reason for this is because even one drink sets up something called the 'phenomenon of craving'. As the name suggests, we want more and more alcohol after that first drink. This makes limiting the number of drinks that we consume, by will power, extremely hard. There were occasions when I did walk away after 2-3 stiff drinks, which made me feel that I was regaining some sort of control. So naturally the next time I drank I did so with impunity. And the inevitable consequences would occur again!

Fortunately I finally gave up the notion that I was 'normal' as far as alcohol was concerned. Initially it was like giving up my legs, as it was the only thing that gave me some sort of peace between my ears. After making this decision I learned why I was drinking, which greatly helped me NOT take that 1st drink. Essentially, my triggers were/are Resentment, fear, anger, selfishness, arrogance, dishonesty (with others and myself), impatience, jealousy, lust, envy and that old chestnut self pity.

It was clear that I was a pretty twisted kinda guy! My emotions were extreme and I found it hard to control them. Alcohol provided me with some sort of peace. I have been spending the last 10 years working on my attitudes and outlooks.

Look deep into yourself, and shine an honest light on the dark crevices and corners of your mind. Look in to all those places that you keep secret and in the dark. Within them you'll probably find the reasons why you are in the cycle of which you speak.

certainly relate to that but like Gilmer, binges ran for months and years, public drunkeness stopped a couple of years ago but the private drinking accelerated until I was pretty much hammered as soon as the front door closed and therefore too wrecked for company for much of the time.

Yeah--social drinking was a waste of my time! I was very ruthless about getting in my "fair share" of booze!

yeah - like all of it!

one of the bosses at work commented a few months ago that I always very composed and well behaved on company drinking events. I was thinking "yep, as long as I've got 2 bottles of vodka safely hidden at home for when I get back - I'm as calm as you like!"

Hi Falko

Yep I can relate to all of that - unfortunately my problem just got worse and worse & I ended up drinking that way daily.

Are you looking to quit completely?

you'll find a lot of support here :)

D

Yes I am exactly the same. I wasn't always so sensible though, when I started drinking I was always the one who would drink the most and make a tit of myself, eventually the shame of it turned me into a private drinker.

Those who can have 1 or 2 and be satisfied are doing it wrong. Drinking 1 or 2shots or beers is boring. I want at least 10, and that'll make me drink 20. Why even bother drinking if I'm just going to have one or two.

I did the same thing quite a bit, I didn't drink in public or at gatherings, because I couldn't relax, I'd want more and I'd want to get hammered. If I had to drive, or if it was people I didn't want to see me hammered, I just waited till i got home.

Didn't like drinking in bars... cause its too expensive, I can black out for $12 at home, its going to cost me $150 at the bar.

Weekend warriors are different from full blown alcoholics. If you can keep it to the weekend. That is amazing. I dont by all means condone your behavior, but I (as well as many others on this forum) were raging Liquor bombers.
I am 30, National Director of Business Development for one of the largest tech companies in the world. Starts with "S" and would get totally crushed on the weekends. Weekdays consist of 2-3 beers lunch, 5-10 beers dinner, maybe a few shots. EVERYDAY. So if you are a weekender. Good for you. You deserve a pat on the back, but try to cut out a few weekends. It shouldn't be a big deal as you wont withdrawal. May as well right? I mean you came to a web forum for alcoholics. So Just try it

I can relate to this... I can totally relate to this. Family functions, work events and weddings I just don't drink, because I can't get drunk like I want to.

I can actually take this even further >

In the past I have told all my friends I "quit", and would go to parties or events with them, and drink in secret. In closets, bathrooms, alley ways. They were usually so hammered they had no idea, but were always amazed at what a fun guy I was sober.

So much dishonetsy is associated with alcoholism. It's weird.

I've done this one too..