Functional Alcoholic
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Africa
Posts: 8
Functional Alcoholic
I drink way to much. First thing I do when I get home in the evenings is to open a bottle of wine. I always tell myself 'one glass only', but of course it never stays at one glass. I have tried so many times to break this habit, but come 6 o'clock and it is the same procedure. It is affecting my relationships, my weight, self esteem and general ambition. How do I stop this down spiraling habit? 
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Sonika, of course there is AA, but the bottom line is don't take another drink of alcohol. I'm 1004 days sober, and in the beginning the cravings were awful and it was irratating but all that goes away with time. Rootin for ya. 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Southern Spain
Posts: 355
If you are an alcoholic the path ahead is quite clear. Your status as a functioning alcoholic will diminish and you'll enter into an altogether more scary state of being a non-functioning one. Alcoholism is a progressive malady, which over any given period of time becomes worse never better. Oddly, that is also the case even if you stop drinking. The malady continues to grow in strength. So a functioning alcoholic who stopped drinking, say 10 years ago, if returning to drinking today, would find their reaction to alcohol to be far more intense. For an alcoholic the only course of action is total abstinence.
The inability to drink in moderation is a classic alcoholic trait. One drink sets up a 'phenomenon of craving', which is very hard to resist. Hence, the drinking to excess.
The thought of not drinking may sound horrific to you. As it does to all of us initially. However, that is because for a long time we had relied on alcohol to cope with life's difficulties. In some cases we had never learned even the most basic coping mechanisms. That is, essentially, what sobriety is all about. The giving up of alcohol is only the start of the process. The real work is learning to live without it.
This could be attempted alone. However, without any help I always drink again. I would not recommend attempting it solo. This site offers a huge amount of support, and has helped me tremendously. Not because I often ask for advice or guidance. But the very act of writing and posting connects me to a power greater than myself. AA is also very good, and I attended for 10 years before moving to where I now live (there is no English speaking AA here). Forget and tabloid/sensationalist information that you may have read regarding AA, and see for yourself what the fellowship can do. Go to meetings that you feel comfortable in.
Best of luck on your journey.
The inability to drink in moderation is a classic alcoholic trait. One drink sets up a 'phenomenon of craving', which is very hard to resist. Hence, the drinking to excess.
The thought of not drinking may sound horrific to you. As it does to all of us initially. However, that is because for a long time we had relied on alcohol to cope with life's difficulties. In some cases we had never learned even the most basic coping mechanisms. That is, essentially, what sobriety is all about. The giving up of alcohol is only the start of the process. The real work is learning to live without it.
This could be attempted alone. However, without any help I always drink again. I would not recommend attempting it solo. This site offers a huge amount of support, and has helped me tremendously. Not because I often ask for advice or guidance. But the very act of writing and posting connects me to a power greater than myself. AA is also very good, and I attended for 10 years before moving to where I now live (there is no English speaking AA here). Forget and tabloid/sensationalist information that you may have read regarding AA, and see for yourself what the fellowship can do. Go to meetings that you feel comfortable in.
Best of luck on your journey.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Sonika 
I was in a very similar situation to you. Coming here and reading a lot helped. I developed lots of health and anxiety problems from drinking like that so I had to give it up. Even when I had to give up though I found it hard to do. But it is possible You'll find lots of support here x
I was in a very similar situation to you. Coming here and reading a lot helped. I developed lots of health and anxiety problems from drinking like that so I had to give it up. Even when I had to give up though I found it hard to do. But it is possible
You'll find lots of support here x
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Talk with your doctor about detoxing.
Stop buying and drinking the stuff.
Stay stopped and if you need some method of recovery, look into these options:
Rational Recovery
AVRT
SMART
Life Ring
Power to Quit
SOS
Women for Sobriety
AA
All have their own websites.
I wish you well on your sober journey!
Stop buying and drinking the stuff.
Stay stopped and if you need some method of recovery, look into these options:
Rational Recovery
AVRT
SMART
Life Ring
Power to Quit
SOS
Women for Sobriety
AA
All have their own websites.
I wish you well on your sober journey!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Home - there's no place like Home
Posts: 974
Hello Sonika - welcome to SR where you will find help, support, and people just like you who have "been there, done that". 15 months ago was my first day of living life alcohol free. As a functioning alkie, I had the harsh reality hit me like a rock that living with booze coursing through my veins day in and day out was no way to live. I had lost the respect of my family and my dignity. Today, I have regained the love of my kids and am no longer fearful or filled with shame over what I might have done or said in a blackout. Good things come to those of us who walk away from the wine. If I can do it, I have every confidence that you can too. Make today the first day to avoid the 6pm decorking. Come here. Read a book. Take a walk. Fix a meal. Keep yourself occupied. Drink sparkling water or iced tea or a latte - anything you love rather than that fermented poison in the decorative bottle. Best of luck to you - we are all in this together. Lean on and learn from those who have gone down the sobriety path before you - you absolutley can do it! Hugs, NBC
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 103
Hi Sonika,
You are in the right place! I am still fighting for my own sobriety (I can go 4-5 days before I cave and drink). One thing that I have found helpful is to introduce new patterns and routines to help you break the old ones that would lead to drinking. Don't buy wine. Don't go to the same stores where you used to buy it. Drive a different route so you won't be tempted to stop and buy a drink. Make plans that will not involve drinking. Babysit someone's kids. Go to church. Go see a play or a movie. Keep busy. One of the things that I miss most about my alcoholic self is the non-interest I have in my former interests and hobbies because booze took the front seat. I find that trying to fill my craving periods with these activities helps me a lot. For me this includes doing fun projects with my kids like paint or play-doh (things I couldn't be bothered with when I was drinking), playing my guitar, cooking, watching You Tube videos on hair and makeup and then practicing them on myself, cleaning my closet, giving myself a proper manicure (Lord knows I couldn't do that when drinking because I would always shake too much), exercise, see friends, go to church, spend time on Pinterest trying new projects...just some suggestions. Feel free to PM me if you want to...and hang in there. We can do this! PG
You are in the right place! I am still fighting for my own sobriety (I can go 4-5 days before I cave and drink). One thing that I have found helpful is to introduce new patterns and routines to help you break the old ones that would lead to drinking. Don't buy wine. Don't go to the same stores where you used to buy it. Drive a different route so you won't be tempted to stop and buy a drink. Make plans that will not involve drinking. Babysit someone's kids. Go to church. Go see a play or a movie. Keep busy. One of the things that I miss most about my alcoholic self is the non-interest I have in my former interests and hobbies because booze took the front seat. I find that trying to fill my craving periods with these activities helps me a lot. For me this includes doing fun projects with my kids like paint or play-doh (things I couldn't be bothered with when I was drinking), playing my guitar, cooking, watching You Tube videos on hair and makeup and then practicing them on myself, cleaning my closet, giving myself a proper manicure (Lord knows I couldn't do that when drinking because I would always shake too much), exercise, see friends, go to church, spend time on Pinterest trying new projects...just some suggestions. Feel free to PM me if you want to...and hang in there. We can do this!
PG
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SoCal, California
Posts: 990
That was my story up till about 5 weeks ago.
There's a lot of different pathways to sobriety. My first suggestion would be to check out AA.
Just go to a meeting, sit there and say nothing. Nobody will bother you. You can check it out. Try that at about 4 or 5 meetings just to get a flavor of it.
It usually takes some kind of support to quit.
There's a lot of different pathways to sobriety. My first suggestion would be to check out AA.
Just go to a meeting, sit there and say nothing. Nobody will bother you. You can check it out. Try that at about 4 or 5 meetings just to get a flavor of it.
It usually takes some kind of support to quit.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
How do you stop this down spiraling habit? Tonight, drink tea instead of wine. Get on here and post, read, go to the chat room. Reach out for help, and talk through any cravings that you might have. Take it one step at a time.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
I had similar issues, my spiral downward began with drinking one bottle of wine per night, then 2. I continued to work and made over 6 figures at my white-collar sales job. I eventually quit work due to anxiety (which i later found out was because of drinking), and then I started drinking all day. I was rushed to the hospital after a year of this behavior because it almost killed me.
I used a 3 week inpatient program, some AA, some AVRT and RR methods, family support, and SR to stay sober. It's been 9 months.
In my case it has not been an easy journey. I think about my situation and relationship with alcohol daily and will continue to for a long time. I am sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but I did the same things as you and this is where I ended up. Good luck getting sober - alas I believe you will need to quit drinking forever and come to terms with that in order to get a healthy jump. I hope you have the courage to try!
I used a 3 week inpatient program, some AA, some AVRT and RR methods, family support, and SR to stay sober. It's been 9 months.
In my case it has not been an easy journey. I think about my situation and relationship with alcohol daily and will continue to for a long time. I am sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but I did the same things as you and this is where I ended up. Good luck getting sober - alas I believe you will need to quit drinking forever and come to terms with that in order to get a healthy jump. I hope you have the courage to try!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: The Emerald City
Posts: 434
Welcome Sonika! This is a great place for support.
I used to do the exact same thing with wine. (Thought that with it I was relieving stress from my job and relationships.) In a few years it went from 1 glass in the evenings to 2 then eventually the entire bottle every night, ...sometimes 2 bottles. I got to the point where I started fantasizing about that first glass every afternoon, or even right when I woke up. It got worse and worse, and nobody else even knew I had an issue. After a handful of years, I realized how much weight I had gained, and how my face was beginning to look puffy and old. I didn't look the same anymore. I realized that I was caring more about drinking than I was anything else. Waking up feeling sick had become the norm and I was disgusted with what I had become. I made several sobriety attempts with a week here and there, but it wasn't until I had that realistic and honest dialogue, asking myself if I want to continue down that road or do I really want it to be different? It won't change unless I make a serious commitment to get it out of my life. (I don't even have wine glasses in my house anymore.) I had to realize that wine was not relieving my stress or making me feel better, it was in reality making me feel worse. Alcohol is deceptive in that way.
It's been only 2.5 months that I've been sober now, but it's the BEST decision that I've ever made. The face puff has gone down and I've even lost almost all of the drinking weight. I feel good again. I feel motivated again. I feel free again.
You can do it Sonika. There's a myriad of options out there to help you quit. (I did it on my own, but I also hear that AA and other organizations or detox through doctors are fantastic.) Just choose something and make it happen Sonika. We're here supporting you!
I used to do the exact same thing with wine. (Thought that with it I was relieving stress from my job and relationships.) In a few years it went from 1 glass in the evenings to 2 then eventually the entire bottle every night, ...sometimes 2 bottles. I got to the point where I started fantasizing about that first glass every afternoon, or even right when I woke up. It got worse and worse, and nobody else even knew I had an issue. After a handful of years, I realized how much weight I had gained, and how my face was beginning to look puffy and old. I didn't look the same anymore. I realized that I was caring more about drinking than I was anything else. Waking up feeling sick had become the norm and I was disgusted with what I had become. I made several sobriety attempts with a week here and there, but it wasn't until I had that realistic and honest dialogue, asking myself if I want to continue down that road or do I really want it to be different? It won't change unless I make a serious commitment to get it out of my life. (I don't even have wine glasses in my house anymore.) I had to realize that wine was not relieving my stress or making me feel better, it was in reality making me feel worse. Alcohol is deceptive in that way.
It's been only 2.5 months that I've been sober now, but it's the BEST decision that I've ever made. The face puff has gone down and I've even lost almost all of the drinking weight. I feel good again. I feel motivated again. I feel free again.
You can do it Sonika. There's a myriad of options out there to help you quit. (I did it on my own, but I also hear that AA and other organizations or detox through doctors are fantastic.) Just choose something and make it happen Sonika. We're here supporting you!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 2
Just starting my life without alcohol as well. I'm in the same boat. I would call myself a functional alcoholic...I excuse away the volume of alcohol I drink because I am not ruining anything and my life is not necessarily in shambles. I am somehow juggling being a wife, mom, and full-time college student, all while hitting the bottle HARD almost every night and completely binging every weekend. The truth is, it is affecting my health, my memory, my weight, and like you said, ambition. I feel for you. The thought of giving it up is crappy, but I really want to try hard to be sober.
One day at a time. It will be so worth it.
One day at a time. It will be so worth it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Welcome Sonika, you sound like me. I went three months without any alcohol and then decided one glass would be ok. I am back here again and trying to get all of my supports back in place. I am trying SMART this time, and may go to other meetings as well.
I know that when I post on SR I do better. Today I plan on trying an AA meeting, going for a walk, doing Pilates, hanging out with the kids and doing some work. That should keep me busy!
I know that when I post on SR I do better. Today I plan on trying an AA meeting, going for a walk, doing Pilates, hanging out with the kids and doing some work. That should keep me busy!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Africa
Posts: 8
Ok - here I go. Thank you to all for replying. I do not feel so isolated anymore. I'm a mother, colleague, wife, taxi-driver and the list never ends.
I'm going to try and change my evening routine. Babysteps. Trying to avoid a long period of time in the kitchen, trying to juggle a meal, homework, dogs etc. I think a lot of women can relate.
So using the slow-cooker it will be. Meal planning in order not to be in the kitchen at 6.
I'm going to try and change my evening routine. Babysteps. Trying to avoid a long period of time in the kitchen, trying to juggle a meal, homework, dogs etc. I think a lot of women can relate.
So using the slow-cooker it will be. Meal planning in order not to be in the kitchen at 6.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Africa
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by PeppyGirl 
Hi Sonika,
You are in the right place! I am still fighting for my own sobriety (I can go 4-5 days before I cave and drink). One thing that I have found helpful is to introduce new patterns and routines to help you break the old ones that would lead to drinking. Don't buy wine. Don't go to the same stores where you used to buy it. Drive a different route so you won't be tempted to stop and buy a drink. Make plans that will not involve drinking. Babysit someone's kids. Go to church. Go see a play or a movie. Keep busy. One of the things that I miss most about my alcoholic self is the non-interest I have in my former interests and hobbies because booze took the front seat. I find that trying to fill my craving periods with these activities helps me a lot. For me this includes doing fun projects with my kids like paint or play-doh (things I couldn't be bothered with when I was drinking), playing my guitar, cooking, watching You Tube videos on hair and makeup and then practicing them on myself, cleaning my closet, giving myself a proper manicure (Lord knows I couldn't do that when drinking because I would always shake too much), exercise, see friends, go to church, spend time on Pinterest trying new projects...just some suggestions. Feel free to PM me if you want to...and hang in there. We can do this! PG
You are in the right place! I am still fighting for my own sobriety (I can go 4-5 days before I cave and drink). One thing that I have found helpful is to introduce new patterns and routines to help you break the old ones that would lead to drinking. Don't buy wine. Don't go to the same stores where you used to buy it. Drive a different route so you won't be tempted to stop and buy a drink. Make plans that will not involve drinking. Babysit someone's kids. Go to church. Go see a play or a movie. Keep busy. One of the things that I miss most about my alcoholic self is the non-interest I have in my former interests and hobbies because booze took the front seat. I find that trying to fill my craving periods with these activities helps me a lot. For me this includes doing fun projects with my kids like paint or play-doh (things I couldn't be bothered with when I was drinking), playing my guitar, cooking, watching You Tube videos on hair and makeup and then practicing them on myself, cleaning my closet, giving myself a proper manicure (Lord knows I couldn't do that when drinking because I would always shake too much), exercise, see friends, go to church, spend time on Pinterest trying new projects...just some suggestions. Feel free to PM me if you want to...and hang in there. We can do this!
PG Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Africa
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by ComeOnPilgrim
Just starting my life without alcohol as well. I'm in the same boat. I would call myself a functional alcoholic...I excuse away the volume of alcohol I drink because I am not ruining anything and my life is not necessarily in shambles. I am somehow juggling being a wife, mom, and full-time college student, all while hitting the bottle HARD almost every night and completely binging every weekend. The truth is, it is affecting my health, my memory, my weight, and like you said, ambition. I feel for you. The thought of giving it up is crappy, but I really want to try hard to be sober.
One day at a time. It will be so worth it.
One day at a time. It will be so worth it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Africa
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by SnwFlower
Welcome Sonika! This is a great place for support.
I used to do the exact same thing with wine. (Thought that with it I was relieving stress from my job and relationships.) In a few years it went from 1 glass in the evenings to 2 then eventually the entire bottle every night, ...sometimes 2 bottles. I got to the point where I started fantasizing about that first glass every afternoon, or even right when I woke up. It got worse and worse, and nobody else even knew I had an issue. After a handful of years, I realized how much weight I had gained, and how my face was beginning to look puffy and old. I didn't look the same anymore. I realized that I was caring more about drinking than I was anything else. Waking up feeling sick had become the norm and I was disgusted with what I had become. I made several sobriety attempts with a week here and there, but it wasn't until I had that realistic and honest dialogue, asking myself if I want to continue down that road or do I really want it to be different? It won't change unless I make a serious commitment to get it out of my life. (I don't even have wine glasses in my house anymore.) I had to realize that wine was not relieving my stress or making me feel better, it was in reality making me feel worse. Alcohol is deceptive in that way.
It's been only 2.5 months that I've been sober now, but it's the BEST decision that I've ever made. The face puff has gone down and I've even lost almost all of the drinking weight. I feel good again. I feel motivated again. I feel free again.
You can do it Sonika. There's a myriad of options out there to help you quit. (I did it on my own, but I also hear that AA and other organizations or detox through doctors are fantastic.) Just choose something and make it happen Sonika. We're here supporting you!
I used to do the exact same thing with wine. (Thought that with it I was relieving stress from my job and relationships.) In a few years it went from 1 glass in the evenings to 2 then eventually the entire bottle every night, ...sometimes 2 bottles. I got to the point where I started fantasizing about that first glass every afternoon, or even right when I woke up. It got worse and worse, and nobody else even knew I had an issue. After a handful of years, I realized how much weight I had gained, and how my face was beginning to look puffy and old. I didn't look the same anymore. I realized that I was caring more about drinking than I was anything else. Waking up feeling sick had become the norm and I was disgusted with what I had become. I made several sobriety attempts with a week here and there, but it wasn't until I had that realistic and honest dialogue, asking myself if I want to continue down that road or do I really want it to be different? It won't change unless I make a serious commitment to get it out of my life. (I don't even have wine glasses in my house anymore.) I had to realize that wine was not relieving my stress or making me feel better, it was in reality making me feel worse. Alcohol is deceptive in that way.
It's been only 2.5 months that I've been sober now, but it's the BEST decision that I've ever made. The face puff has gone down and I've even lost almost all of the drinking weight. I feel good again. I feel motivated again. I feel free again.
You can do it Sonika. There's a myriad of options out there to help you quit. (I did it on my own, but I also hear that AA and other organizations or detox through doctors are fantastic.) Just choose something and make it happen Sonika. We're here supporting you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Africa
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by nonblondechef
Hello Sonika - welcome to SR where you will find help, support, and people just like you who have "been there, done that". 15 months ago was my first day of living life alcohol free. As a functioning alkie, I had the harsh reality hit me like a rock that living with booze coursing through my veins day in and day out was no way to live. I had lost the respect of my family and my dignity. Today, I have regained the love of my kids and am no longer fearful or filled with shame over what I might have done or said in a blackout. Good things come to those of us who walk away from the wine. If I can do it, I have every confidence that you can too. Make today the first day to avoid the 6pm decorking. Come here. Read a book. Take a walk. Fix a meal. Keep yourself occupied. Drink sparkling water or iced tea or a latte - anything you love rather than that fermented poison in the decorative bottle. Best of luck to you - we are all in this together. Lean on and learn from those who have gone down the sobriety path before you - you absolutley can do it! Hugs, NBC
Learning to LIve
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NSW Australia
Posts: 908
Sonika , I could have posted any of the above replies. It is an ongoung battle ... you can do it. Is there anyway you can reduce your resposibilities at home for a little while even just a week.
it is not easy ... I found spending time on SR chat ... especially when I would usually be drinking was / is a great tool in my ongoing sobriety.
I find i can do eceerything I used to do when I was drinking and soooooo much more ... and most of the time with minimal stress.
I am 8 months sober and I still have my moments.
Reach out ...ask for support .. try AA . SMART recovery , AVRT in particular helped me at wine 0'Clock...
Good Luck
it is not easy ... I found spending time on SR chat ... especially when I would usually be drinking was / is a great tool in my ongoing sobriety.
I find i can do eceerything I used to do when I was drinking and soooooo much more ... and most of the time with minimal stress.
I am 8 months sober and I still have my moments.
Reach out ...ask for support .. try AA . SMART recovery , AVRT in particular helped me at wine 0'Clock...
Good Luck
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