SoberHappyHour

Into your sobriety before you went out to a place with lots of alcohol (bars, parties, etc.) and how did it go for you guys? I'm now 125 days sober and I think I'm almost ready to get back out there and remain sober. I feel like it will be the next step in strengthening my sobriety is becoming comfortable in those situations. Or did some of you never even take the chance of going out to events involving lots of alcohol ? Thanks for your replies everyone.

Sillyboy

I don't know how long it will take me but I'm at two weeks and have no intention on being around alcohol anytime soon. I'm quite content with a little isolation at this point, it helps me get my head stright before the next stage.

Ragamuffin

Congrats on your sober time!! That is a wonderful achievement!

I'm about nine months sober and went to a bar for the first time recently. I felt uncomfortable but I'm very stubborn when it comes to my sobriety. It all depends on the person.

Just don't become comfortable just yet. Treat your sobriety like a newborn and kinda baby it. It sounds weird but its very helpful. Temptation can strike you at anytime and the more you let your mind grow and strengthen the easier it will be. Take your time, there's no rush.

Joe Nerv

I played it more dangerously than most. I went to my favorite club at around the time you have, but I was a little freaked, left almost immediately, and then pretty much stayed out of bars for around a year. I listened to the warnings of others, and wanted more to make sure I stayed sober than anything else.

During my 2nd year of sobriety I hit bars from time to time because I felt I had good reason. I was going there to meet women. What I found was I really wasn't bothered by any of the alcohol around me. Didn't even notice it all that much, unless I was with someone else who was drinking. What it took me a while to notice however was that it was giving me some strong drinking urges, AFTER the fact. I was fine when I was hanging out, but the next day, sometimes a few days later I would begin to glamorize drinking again. I started to miss it, and wonder if my new sober life was worth all the effort. I went that route for a while, till I realized what was happening to me... then stopped going altogether.

Fast forward a bunch of years (I'm sober almost 29 years), I got back into playing music and performed in a lot in clubs and bars, sometimes 4 nights a week. Still do. The alcohol doesn't phase me one bit. It's just something I don't do. Unlike some, I don't believe I'm immune to ever just saying screw it, and ordering a beer - so I make sure I keep myself in good physical, mental and spiritual condition... but bottom line is, it's not an issue or problem for me now at all. I do however have a very strong foundation in sobriety, still participate in AA, and utilize the 12 steps to the best of my ability. AA has opened the doors to a very free, comfortable, and often exciting life for me.

Mizzuno

In my opinion there really is no reason to go to a bar since you no longer drink. Personally, I would engage in more wholesome activities. Parties? If there is a lot of drinking, I would not even be putting myself in that situation. That is just me. I need to guard my sobriety and keep my head clear.

FreedomWon

I have alcohol in my house and have since the day I quit drinking. My husband has a brandy at night when he gets home from work. I pour his drink sometimes and it's really no big deal.

My neighbor came by for a drink the other night. I had a hot tea with a little honey and she and my husband had mixed drinks. I enjoyed the visit a lot more than what I would have when I was drinking.

Sober, I can hear what people are talking about and enjoy them without having to be blabbing away like an idiot know it all.

When I think about how I used to drink, it makes me feel grossed out. I just couldn't go back to that sickening feeling of frying my poor dried up brain. I actually was living in a blackout for a long time before I realized I needed to change my lifestyle to a sober one.

The people who drink around me don't drink the way I did. They get a little buzz and that's it.

I asked God to remove my obsession and He did. I never knew sober life could be fun. I was so wrong.

SoberD

I don't know but definitely not ready at 40 or so days...

SoberKnitter

I'm only a month in, and I've been around alcohol quite a bit. Avoiding it would mean isolating myself from people and activities that are important to me. I figure it's good to start learning how to deal with the discomfort. I don't want to live my life fearing situations where alcohol is involved.

That said, I probably wouldn't go to a bar, because the only reason I went to bars was to drink. I can't even fathom how boring a bar would be to just sit around in. The idea of it just sounds... gross. I'm creating a new life for myself that is about physical, mental and emotional health, and bars just don't fit.

HappyDestiny3

I don't go to bars or anything like that, because there is no reason for me to be there..

As for parties and functions, I stayed away for a long time.. Then started to go, only when I had a legitimate reason to be there.. And always , always had a escape plan for when it got or gets to much..

neferkamichael

SoberHappyHour, 125 days sober? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. The 1st outing I made was a barbeque given by a member of my home group, and I was over 1 year sober. That's something you'll just have to make the call on.

Will69

I am round about 125 days also. I stopped just before Christmas, so had a few difficult but low pressure family meals. My family have probably thought that I should cut down, and will have been relieved that I did.
I have had a couple of social occasions since Christmas, including a weekend away with a good friend who likes a drink. Was fine.
I went out on Friday, to a pub, with a group of guys who drink. They talked about drink a lot, and were putting it away. I dipped in late, and left early. I just enjoyed being out and being in control. I can honestly say that if I had drunk I would not have enjoyed the evening more. Some of the banter revolved around me drinking juice. It was nice, in a strange way, to be part of it all, even for that reason. I suppose there was more to that group than just drink though.
I had never before that been in to a Pub and not drunk as much alcohol as I could gt away with.
I think the drinking patterns of folk on here vary, for some avoiding temptation is the only way to go. I have a young family and a busy job, I really felt I needed to go and interact with people. I was in two minds before I went out to the pub.

hypochondriac

I went to drinking events quite early on in my sobriety, not really through choice though, mainly work social events. It wasn't pleasant but I was determined not to drink. It doesn't bother me so much now but in a way that is more worrying because it would be easier to slip because I am not on guard as much. I tend to avoid bars or if I go I leave early. There is no fun in watching other drunk people. And I have this fear of being one of those ex drinkers hanging around other big drinkers to somehow relive their old life. I know one person like that but I can see how it's easy done. I think that if I just hung around people drinking though I would start feeling sorry for myself at some point. I got a lot of strength from knowing I could stay sober in pubs and clubs but I've done that now and I'd rather do other stuff. Well done on 125 days! x

SoberHappyHour

Well, I just want to go do something at night time on the weekends. I enjoy talking to people when I'm sober whether they are drunk or sober. Also, I am a single man so I would like to get out to possibly meet women as well. For 4 months last yr I went out to bars sober but I had an alcohol monitor on my ankle and didn't intend to quit drinking but now I am sober by my own choice. I don't want to get back into the habit of going to these things, but would be nice to be able to go sober sometimes and not have it be a big deal.

LadyinBC

I personally have no desire to go to bars or parties. I just don't see the point. Most people are just there to get drunk. Anyone I met drunk from there was never a lasting relationship anyways! At least for me.

I did enjoying going to the pub, but I haven't done that yet and I'm not sure if I will do it anytime soon.

People have to do what is right for them. It is whatever you are comfortable with.

Happier

In my case it was not so much about getting comfortable with staying sober while going out. However, It was much more about actually enjoying the environment or activity. After 9 months I am just getting to where I truly enjoy some of those places. I actually went to and enjoyed a great concert just last night.
While normal drinking is fine for me to be around, I still have no desire to hang out where people are getting silly drunk. I doubt if I ever will enjoy that so bars just no longer have any appeal to me.
Oh....and women do hang out in places other than bars. Some very attractive, engaging, intelligent ones too. Met mine while working out.
Good luck to you.

SparklingSeven

You seem determined - already made your mind up!

Just be prepared for it to come back and bite you on the arse really hard!

Hope you're a good runner! Need to keep your wits about you.

Good luck.

fantail

I jumped right in... I'm at two months and I've hosted a few parties (not ragers! but alcohol present. One was even involved wine tasting), gone to a few bars, met friends for "drinks" (for them, lemonade for me). Etc etc. My roommates also keep alcohol in the house, which while I was drinking was a huge problem... but since I've quit I just have been OK with it somehow. There's even some booze here that I bought that I haven't touch, which is pretty shocking.

I guess for me I was weighing two risk factors: being in the presence of alcohol vs being lonely. I know personally that being lonely is far worse for me. It's my biggest trigger. Being around alcohol on the other hand is fine. I am a bit lucky in that my group of friends is fairly active so most of the things I'm invited to are activity + drinking, so leaving out the second bit is pretty easy.

hypochondriac

Just as an aside... there are a ton of things we can do to meet people which involve no alcohol at all. There is this whole world out there that we have never seen of people interacting and dating without alcohol. Life doesn't all take place in bars x

Huglets

I was 4 months sober before I had to be at a work dinner that was full of alcohol. I didn't do very well.....I couldn't do it and was back on Day 1 the next morning.

Second time I was exposed was at 8 months. I didn't drink but I was extremely uncomfortable.

I'm now at 4 months since my last relapse and I have NO interest in going to a bar. None. There's no purpose to be there for me. I'm fully committed to my sobriety.

Personally, I wouldn't even consider a bar for picking up a date/potential relationship. Sure, there are some people who go to bars just to have a few drinks and meet people. But if that's something they like to do, any type of relationship I might develop would never work.

I think everyone is different. Go with your gut. Best of luck with whatever you decide!

FBL

I went to my favorite bar on Day 13. The owner is a good friend of mine and it was partly to see him and partly to see if I could handle being there without having a drink. The night went off without a hitch and it proved to me that I could enjoy just visiting and drinking soda. I still go there on occassion and have had no problems. Just my experience...yours may vary