aasharon90

22yrs. sober meant for me to not place
myself in the same situation as I use to
be in that eventually got me to a dark
place in my life before entering recovery.

That is where change came into play
in all areas of my life. Mentally, physically,
emotionally and spiritually.

I thought the last time I would ever go
to a club was in Feb. 1990. On my way
home in the wee hours of the morning,
my car ran into some road construction
less than a mile from my home, hitting
a concrete culvert sitting on top the ground.

I don't remember the EMS ride, but do
recall the large amount of pain I was in
because of my punctured spleen was
causing internal bleeding and my lungs
were filled with fluid along with numerous
broken ribs, bones and contusions.

I spent 10day in the hospital with my
spleen being removed so I wouldn't bleed
to death. Pain pills, bandages, theraphy,
2 operations with many thoughts that I
will never go back out and drink again.

WRONG..!!!!

I healed quickly and quite well to be drawn
right back into the same club in Aug. 1990,
driving home in the wee hours to return home
to once again another spousal argument.

I wanted to die and I tried with a failed attempt,
thank God..!

Family stepped in and rehab for 28days with
knowledge and tools to live by each day as I
encorperate them in my everyday affairs.

August 11, 1990 was the beginning of my
recovery life and never stepped in another
club since.

Im pretty sure that those so called friends
I thought I had may still be at those clubs
but for me they exist no more.

Joe Nerv

When I was in rehab, I brought up the idea of going to bars and drinking coke to my counselor. I wish I had his response video taped, because it's still with me decades later, it was great. A lot of the presentation had to do with that he was an old school black dude, that was incredibly animated and his inflections made his response a bit more memorable. He said something to the effect of, "Joe, I love you man! You the perfect alcoholic! That's what I wanted to do when I got sober too, sit in a bar with all my buddies and drink soda. Let me tell ya how it goes though. Ya see, alcohol is patient. It'll sit on shelf behind that bar all quite and nice, for weeks, months, maybe even years.... then one day something will happen. Either you won't be thinkin, or the girl you're with will start talkin to some other guy, and without even realizing you're doing it you'll have a shot from that quite, dusty bottle in front of you. Seen happen countless times, usually sooner than later - but trust me. Alcohol is patient, and it's powerful. Best you respect it, and stay outta them damn bars." Can't quite deliver that message the way did, but again, it was great. I'm pretty sure it was followed up with, "I ain't no lion tamer, so I don't go into the lion's den" (always hated that one), and, "If I hang around a barber shop long enough, eventually I'm gonna get a haircut (like that one a little better)... anyway, just thought I'd share it.

Also want post again about one of the first things I ever posted on SR. They say nobody's gonna pour a drink down your throat, but in my case that wasn't true. A few years back I was playing a show in one of those coyote ugly kind of bars, where the bartenders set fire to bar, dance on it, and put on kind of show throughout the night. I was sitting at the bar between sets this particular evening (something I don't usually do, but the place was crowed and my bandmates were there), and the bartended I guess wanted to play/flirt, I don't know. My back was to her, and she took my hat off my head. She danced down the bar with my hat (I wasn't really paying attention to her, just wanted my hat back) and when she came back she surprised me by grabbing my head and pulling in such a way that my mouth opened, and she was about to pour whiskey in. It all happened kind of fast an unexpectedly, and I reacted a bit more violently than I ordinarily would have... especially with a woman. She got scared, and was freaked by my reaction, but later I think realized what she had done, called me over, and sincerely apologized. Had it happened, I'm sure I'd have survived, but I'm glad it didn't.

Only one other time I remember that I was actually frightened, and if not for my foundation and I believe a power from above, that I would have drank. And yes, a woman was involved again. A lady friend of mine had a friend visiting from Italy and we went out to eat with a couple of other people. The woman was like from out of a movie, and the 2 other guys there were as taken in by her as I. She spoke very little english, but we where having an awesome time none the less. At 1 point, I think we were talking about passion or something, she grabbed me close, took her wine glass, put it right near my lips and said "drink!". I looked in her eyes, saw her smile, and I was frozen. The glass was right at my mouth, but somehow the word "no" came out. That wasn't good enough for her and she persisted actually putting it against my lips. I smelled, it. I tasted it (in my mind), and I wanted it badly. I looked in her eys again and felt more powerless than ever before, yet still somehow the word "no" came out once more. Again she persisted, tilting the glass and I had to push myself away. She didn't understand enough english for me to even begin to explain, and it pretty much put her off. Oh well. That night would not have gone well, had I drank that wine. Actully, that night may have gone really well had I done it , but it wasn't worth the price I'd have had to pay, which would have been probably everything else I had obtained in the 3 years sober I think I had at the time. It's said in the AA Bigbook that there will come a time where we have no defense whatsoever and nothing short of a spiritual experience will keep us from picking up the first drink. I believe that was one of those times, for me. And again, had I NOT had the foundation I do in AA I'm pretty dang near certain I'd have given in that night.

visch1

When I first came to AA it was very strongly "suggested" that we stay away from slippery people, places and things. Today I'm one of those old timers that followed suggestions and unfortunately have seen all the results of those who haven't. BE WELL

Mizzuno

There are always weekend classes of some sort being offered. What about bowling or heading to the movies, taking a walk with a friend? Meet someone for coffee. I would be brain storming all of the other places that I could go, rather than a bar. It seems risky.
I understand that you are single. I am not sure if you will meet the right kind of woman, who would be worth getting involved with, at a bar. I can only go off of my reality at a bar. I was there to drink period. Guard your sobriety with everything. You are doing this!!!

LonerMan

At about 100 days, my sponsor dragged me into a steak house/bar that his sponsor owned. The whole time there, I fixated on the guy in the next booth and the drinks he was enjoying. I was very uncomfortable. My sponsor said I'd have to get use to being around it. I looked at him and said, "No, I don't". All these years later, I feel the same way.

There might be some things I miss by not going to slippery places, but being drunk isn't one of them. Really, I don't miss anything to do with booze or drugs.

GodsFriend

If you go into a barbershop often enough you will get a hair cut. I don't belong in a bar. I will have 13 years May 20th and still do not go to any place like a bar. I had rather go to a meeting and talk with fellow drunks. Better atmosphere and not likely to pick up a drink.

Michael66

Like others, bars and parties are not a part of my sober life. We do occasionally go to the pub for a lunchtime meal from work, but almost no-one drinks alcohol so that is no problem. These days I just wouldn't go anywhere people are getting drunk. They wouldn't want me there anyway, as I would just want to tell them how a sober life is so much better